


This won't end well

by pandanare



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Humor, Murder, Oral Sex, Sarcasm, Smut, Suggestive Themes, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-03-09 04:13:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13473459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandanare/pseuds/pandanare
Summary: AU: Vegeta is no stranger to opportunity, but when a simple bounty job goes awry, he finds himself thrown into one unfortunate situation after another. A lot humor, a dash of mischief and little bit of a romance with a story baked in between!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> No DBZ or affiliate ownership here. Ladies and gentlemen, Give it up for Mr. Akira Toriyama
> 
> Notes: So italics by themselves are flashbacks and italics with single quotes are thoughts. Then obviously the double quotes are for dialogue, capiche?
> 
> Shout out to HannaBellLecter whose awesome feedback keeps me going and to SarahWDBZ who inspired me to step out of my comfort zone a little. Don't know them? What are you waiting for? check them out now!
> 
> Big thanks to happyoverwatchfangirl83 also who inspired me to put something together quicker than I was going to XD

"Would you like me to read that to the rest of the class?" There was no answer. Only the sound of shuffling papers and backpacks as the bell was close to ringing in the lunch hour.

"No?" He got up from his metal frame desk and meandered slowly over to the boy's seat. " Hmm...", he tapped his chin, "then why is that the third note I've seen you pass and this is the second time I've called you out on it?" He waited patiently for an answer with no hint of irk in his voice. He had a very good approach for dealing with repeat offenders passing notes. It was so easy to get riled up over print not pertinent to the study lesson, but with restrictions on what teachers are allowed to do and say getting more stringent by the hour, a nicer...sweeter approach was required for minor offenses.

It's really very rudimentary. Make them think they're not in trouble. Everything's copacetic. Almost..buddy-buddy.

And then read their notes to the class.

The boy's eyes averted down and Vegeta gracefully transferred the letter between them with sleight of hand. He didn't take his eyes off the paper until he made it back to his desk. The aloof look on his face made it clear that he hadn't made it to any incriminating parts yet, so he sat back down. One eyebrow raised slowly right as he heard a crackling teenage voice break through the crickets, " it's really just boring stuff about our Spanish project due next week" the boy stated anxiously.

"Is that right? ...Are you sure it isn't about your Spanish _teacher_? I'm sure everyone here is interested in how fast you...", his eyes narrowed in concentration as he leaned closer to the paper, "'get it up' when Miss Harkness bends over to empty her trash can." He brought the paper down to his desk and made a exasperated yet extremely confused face as he exhaled through his nose.

__

"Kirby" he paused, "this letter was written to your girlfriend, was it not?" He looked back and forth between the two students who had frozen shrugs adorning their shoulders. Neither looked as if they had any inclination of the slight depravity of the situation.

...The fuck was wrong with this generation?

As students began fleeing like cockroaches to the three part chime, he Let out a defeated huff and leaned his jaw into the palm of his hand, "Ginger, leave your home boy with me after class eh?"  
0-0-0-0-0 

_'It'll be rewarding' they said, 'You can learn to give back to the community and enrich our youth with tools of yesteryear for a brighter tomorrow.'_

Vegeta glowered at the 'Class of '98 Career Day Seminar' running through his head. He looked down at his gravel patty the school tried to pass off as a chicken sandwich."What a load. Who the fuck says yesteryear anyway?", Vegeta said out loud to himself. Across the table, the gym teacher, Mr. Kakarot successfully managed to keep his bolus from decorating the table when he heard 'fuck' out in the open from another teacher.

"Shhh...Vegeta, you've already been written up for inappropriate language twice this semester. One more time an-"

"What? They'll take away my ice cream privileges?" he snorted with over-confidence.

The goofy grin never fell from his co-workers face. "No, but they might make you do chaperone duty at the halloween dance again. Remember last year?"

_Never mind this generation. What was wrong with their parents generation he thought as he stood against the streamer clad wall with a questionably spiked punch in his hand. Who let their teenage daughters walk out of the house dressed like they **started out** in the alley? His thoughts were interrupted by hormone incarnate walking up to him._

__

_"Hi Mr. Ouji! Do you like my costume? I had it made special for tonight." She cocked her hip towards his and bit her finger seductively as she looked up at him. "I couldn't wear anything under it without lines showing...so I didn't.." He let out an annoyed huff at first seeing the minor's clearly intoxicated condition, but decided he could use it to his advantage to relieve some pent up frustrations. He did love the looks on their faces when he.. dominated them._

__

_He eyed her up and down, noticing the low cut sweetheart top, lack of bottom, other than what looked to be a bikini, and a headband with rabbit ears."Why yes Noel, it's the most creative costume I've seen all night. A slut." His expression didn't give anything away but the girls face dropped dramatically as he felt a pink slip making friends with his hand on Monday. Luckily, his judgement, per the usual, was solid and the girl just stumbled off to the next pervert she could trap. An unwelcome, slightly disturbing thought of 'she could do better' passed through is head as she saw her hand rest on the bicep of that disgusting, scar-faced shop teacher._

Vegeta shuddered at the memory as Goku just smiled into the smorgasbord of baked treats he had gleaned from a few of the hopeful, single female teachers who didn't realize he was one china pattern away from being 'hitched'.

"So, Chi-Chi and I are going to a movie tomorrow tonight. She only works half-days on Fridays at the pre-school and I'm leaving after fifth period. You wanna go?" Goku innocently and whole-heartedly asked.

_'Hmm...how many ways could he say no?'_

_'Man falling off cliff: NOOoooooooooo'_

_'Dog peeing on carpet: NO, No No No No-No'_

_'When you go to the mall on black Friday: Nope'_

"No Kakarot." ' _Lack luster it was_ '. "Maybe when something more creative than a prequel, a sequel, a reboot or a spinoff is playing." Goku half smiled "but still probably not..." Smile, meet frown.

"Besides, I'm busy tomorrow night." Goku never did understand how he was busy almost every weekend, but he had a hard time understanding how ice was made, so he shrugged it off. "And what little time I've got left over, well, I'd rather not spend it in a sweat factory that smells like stale popcorn, urine and HVAC mold." Vegeta glanced down at his watch and then back to his food.

With his powder-mix mashed potatoes holding more of his interest than they should, he didn't notice the wannabe Rico Suave that always smelled of sawdust making his way over to the lunch table. "Hey guys. Happy Thursday. Only one more day till the weekend!" The shop teacher made a fist pump motion. Vegeta looked up from his potato pillow with nothing but disgust "Aren't you a little old to be underage drinking?" Yamcha took it in stride, knowing how easy it was to get on Vegeta's bad side, and decided to change the subject.

"So any plans this weekend guys? There's this new school nurse and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie tomorrow. Some really good stuff is playing ya know." Vegeta let out a humph as if he didn't just insult everything at the theater because of it's lack of originality. He lightly clenched his fists as another realization set in...How dare he change the subject when he barely got to insult him.

"Are you sure Noel wouldn't mind if you went with this _nurse_? No wait, that was last year. Was it Laila you were with last week?" he cruelly grinned.

"I told you, _Ouji_ , I was just helping her with choosing a school next year. She's a senior you know?" Yamcha managed through gritted teeth.

"Yes and I'm sure magicians assistant will look good on her college application."

Romeo gave him a confused look that told him he really had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

His voice became low to the point of threatening. "Because she's obviously good at.." he glanced south for a quick second "making things disappear."

Oh.

Hell.

"HAHA that was a good one there Vegeta" Goku interjected desperately, trying to break them of their staring contest. "B..but hey..let's hear more about this nurse.. eh? She a looker or what?"  
0-0-0-0-0 

Twenty-three, no twenty-two. Twenty-two minutes until the bell rang. Twenty-two minutes until he could say goodbye for two whole days to the hell that was being a high school teacher... Nah, fuck twenty-two minutes. This ends now. "Class dismissed. Don't forget your lab reports are due Monday. Double spaced! First student who attempts to make me cripple my vision will be made into an example...Now get out of my sight."

As the rest of the class headed for a weekend of ragers and poor decisions, an un-virgingly looking redhead walked up to him.

' _And here we go_ '

"Mr. Ouji, I didn't know if you could help me? I can't seem to figure out this one thing you went over earlier in class " The girl leaned over his desk, intentionally setting herself up to try to get motor-boated. He leaned back from the situation as far as his chair would let him. "I get that there is a hepatic vein, but I just don't get the difference between that and the hepatic portal vein?" The girl assumed the _I'm attempting to give you doe eyes position_. "...you must think I'm pretty stupid, huh?"

Well...she was asking for it. Looks likes he wouldn't need to show up Monday anyway. ' _Are any other schools in the area hiring?_ ' he thought.

...

...

"Oh... I didn't mean to interrupt." A pretty blue haired woman in a white coat and heels leaned into the doorway of A117. The redheaded slut sized her up and decided she was more in the mood for a sure thing. She would just have to track down that shop teacher instead. The tiny fetus intentionally grazed the woman's shoulder as she squeezed by her in the only-meant-for-one door frame.

"Are all the female students here that transparent?" the bluenette laughed. A small smirk crept up on Vegeta's face and for some reason unknown to him, he continued the conversation.

"I'm petty sure two of my students are a skirt hike away from being duct taped with their hands behind their back and thrown in someone's trunk. Jokes on me. I thought _public schools_ were contributing to the increase in STD's in this country."

"Actually, that's what I'm here for!" she woman confessed with zeal.

After a few silent seconds, his eyebrow attempted to go back down, but then decided it was more appropriate for it to stay up. "Which one? Do you want an STD or to get thrown in a trunk?"

"What?! Neither moron!" He saw her blue eyes flicker with vexation before she inhaled a relaxing breath. "Sorry, I'm the new school nurse. I'm actually here for student education on sex, STD's, pregnancy and ya know...kissing boo boo's and stuff" she said with a wink. Vegeta just sat at his desk with a very convincing 'I'm not interested' look on his face.

She was pretty. She was very pretty. But lord, was she a walking stereotype. The good kind though. The sexy school nurse who wears skin tight dresses under her coat and 6 inch stilettos on her perfectly manicured feet. Probably into some kinky shit. Keeps tongue depressors and nitrile gloves on her at all times.

...

...

"..Is that a yes or...?"

"What?" he stumbled as he came out of his thoughts.

"Umm.. I asked if you have any anatomical models of the male reproductive system I could borrow"

...

' _You would_...'

He let out a begrudging humph and walked across the room. "Let me check in the storage closet. I haven't taught A&P II yet this year. They might still be wrapped up...And don't even think about making a joke about that!" he yelled from the closet.

While he was cock deep in cocks, his phone started vibrating. Deciding he may miss out on a rewarding opportunity, he took the call.

13K was a pretty lucrative offer...but it seemed too easy. How ridiculous was it that someone, knowingly wanted by the authorities, would really make an appearance in someplace as conspicuous as a movie theater? Especially on a Friday night. Worst off, that dunderhead Kakarot would be there with his shrieking harpy. And that chromosome missing scar-face with whatever poor, pathetic...

"No fucking way."

"What was that?" she called from the classroom while playing with a trachea model. He stepped one foot out of the closet while holding a polyvinyl pelvis.

"You're the nurse? You. Are. The. Nurse? The one that sca- er that shop teacher Yamcha is going to the movies with tonight?"

"Umm, yes? And why did you say his name like it's something gross you could catch?" she clutched the thyroid cartilage, slightly annoyed. "He seems pretty nice to me and he was the first person who actually asked me for my name instead of my number." He snarled under his breath as she kept talking. "Besides it's not just us, that PE teacher and his sweet girlfriend are going to be there too."

She adjusted her attitude and gave a genuine smile, "You're more than welcome to join us?"

No answer.

Vegeta stared at her simply too long for her liking and she made a flustered hand gesture and started to walk out the door. "Thanks for the dick..dick" she grumbled just above a whisper.

"I may..make an appearance" he relented.

0-0-0-0-0

_Stupid, tits.._

He could've just stayed at home for once on a Friday, watched some scrambled porn and took the next hit he was offered. Now, because of _her_ , he had to make an _appearance_ in front of that shrieking harpy and those two troglodytes. Ugh.. it sounded so stupid when he replayed it in his head, enunciating 'her' and 'appearance' with a brilliant falsetto. Were they really that nice of tits anyway? From what he could tell they were symmetrical, had the right amount of give and would definitely fit in-"Wait...What is happening here?" he lambasted as he sprayed on Creed Aventus brushed off his slight case of 'bone storm' as maybe just being too long since his last ...transaction. _'When was that even?'_

...

...

_Ah..Ah..yes...Yes...mmmph...w..wait a second. Hold on. He let out a series of curses before getting to his point. "Seriously?! We've already tried three positions. The same physics are going to apply no matter which way the missile fires.."_

_God her laugh was dumb. "I know that, cutie. It just..doesn't feel right. Let me get on top.""If we have to switch one more time..I'm getting a punch card for this" he warned. All things said, her being on top didn't emasculate him like he thought it would and it gave him a nice view of her ti- "Ah..ah...yes..ah..I..I have a question" She didn't stop bucking so he pretended to listen... "Can I..Ah..that feel so good. Can I call you ..keep going...Danielle?"..._

_"What...?" Ministrations frozen._

__

__

_"Can I call you Danielle?"_

_All the brain function he had lost in a firestorm of lust was slowly returning to him. Jesus Christ he did not want it to...Just five more minutes. "Ugh..al..alright...?"_

_Unfrozen. This didn't feel as dear penthouse as he would've imagined but there really could be worse names he reconciled. Maybe this wasn't so bad._

_"Ca..Can..Ah..YES..I'm so close.. Can you call me Clark?"_

..

...

_You need money for an Uber?_

0-0-0-0-0

Parking in a dark corner of the lot, away from everyone else, Vegeta locked his doors and leaned casually on his car. He hated leaning on his car. It served him well to never be a creature of habit. While his after hours forays weren't exactly debaucherous or even all that dangerous, they did inevitably make him some enemies. He adopted all kinds of nuances and idiosyncrasies, even ones he found distasteful and asinine, to avoid becoming routine. He really hated leaning on his car. But routine leads to habits, habits are predictable, and predictions leave a trail of bread crumbs. He checked his phone one last time to make sure he had the guy's face etched in his brain well enough where a mishap in a dark theater wouldn't render this bound-to-be hellish night devoid of any compensation. And god damnit, if Raditz gave him the wrong guys mugshot this time...

_'Is it possible to shave his head ...and make him eat it?'_

He briefly looked at the ground quickly but changed his angle towards the sky, squinting as he reached his destination. He heard foot steps in the distance as he went over his detailed plan of how to kill the bad guy, get the girl and rub it in his rival's face. Or just nab the guy and take him down to the bail bond office, same thing.

"...Easy on the eyes.."

"What's that?" Vegeta didn't even turn his head in acknowledgment. "The stars. They're easy on the eyes."

Were they? He never really gave them much thought. What was the point? They weren't fleeting or fickle. They would always be there. They were almost obnoxious with how consistent they were. So damn..reliable. "They're...adequate" he conceded as he turned his head towards a grinning sea of blue. She smirked. Normally, she would go to bat for the stars, fisticuffs and all, but Bulma had a knack for reading people. A gift she called it. Her gift told her to let this one slide. Everybody gets one.

"You don't strike me as the type of guy that would lean on their...Model S is it?"

So much for creature of habit...

"And you presume to know this about me how? No wait, let me guess. It was those inanimate dicks wasn't it..? I should kill them for their ..insolence." One side of his mouth curled up deliciously as he paused before adding insolence to his threat.

She smiled genuinely. Oh yes. Her 'gift' had en egregious oversight: The quintessential badboy. Sure, she knew they type. She could pick them out of a lineup. A bronzed, sweaty lineup. Glorified underachievers who are centerfold ready and holding your second slice of death by chocolate cake.

In fact, a half-assed attempt at one was coming up behind her. " Bulma! Hey!"

_'Bulma? So that was her name? Yeesh'_

I just saw you pull up a minute ago, I was waiting in my car. Goku and Chi-"

"Mmh..Vegeta, what are you doing here? I mean it's cool that you came and everything but uh..I thought you, ya know, weren't?" Yamcha put on his best shit-eating grin.

_'Vegeta? So that was his name? Yeesh'_

"Well Rico, I had a change of plans, it was either this or slowly rip off a band-aid." He kicked at the ground with his patent leather shoes. What was it about that meek, perverted weakling who lacked any kind of class or pride that got under his skin so bad? Why did he always feel the need to call him out for being a lecher and take the toilet paper from the bathroom before he went in toting a newspaper?

Some questions aren't meant to be answered he conceded.

0-0-0-0-0

Vegeta made friends with a pillar that looked like it could keep a secret and eavesdropped as his paycheck ordered his movie ticket from the attendant. Not surprisingly, the grab bag of invalids he deigned to be seen with chose a movie on the other side of the theater from his victim. At least the movies started about the same time.. almost like someone conveniently wrote it that way..

Vegeta argued his way to the end seat for convenience and Bulma decided to keep him on one side with Yamcha on her other for the rest of the patrons' sake. Even after only seeing a very brief interaction between them, her astuteness wasn't needed to pick up on the (obvious) animosity between them. She looked back and forth between the two metaphorically coiled bodies.'Talk about being between a rock and a hard place...hmm.. but how har-'... "What the hell am I thinking?"

"Shh..don't talk during the movie." Vegeta rebuked with a smirk.

Her blue eyes squinted briefly and before her lips separated to put someone in their place, Yamcha unnecessarily opened his mouth.

"Hey, don't talk like that to her. Just because we've all had the _pleasure_ of getting to know the great Vegeta doesn't mean she knows how or even wants to deal with your shi-.."

"I CAN HANDLE IT, Yamcha." A plethora of Shh's came from the surrounding audience as Bulma overzealously chastised him for interjecting. The problem with most men, is they didn't know how to handle her. She wasn't dainty or weak. Delicate or subdued. She was walking fire and the last thing she needed in her life was to be a judge for a testosterone contest. Banana eating contest? Maybe. But testosterone. No thank you.

Looking a mixture of perturbed and hurt, Yamcha leaned back into his seat and tightly pursed his lips. Bulma scowled at a smirking Vegeta before turning the other direction and giving him a sympathetic smile. "Hey, sorry for yelling, but he was just kidding, alright? Besides, I can handle myself, see?" She held up her arm and flexed a small bicep muscle before giggling.

She did have a habit of overreacting, but she be damned if she would let anyone speak for her.

Vegeta pulled his sleeve up slightly and checked the time on his watch. A few encouraging inhales and he started to stand up. As he took one step towards the staircase, Bulma grabbed his arm. "Hey get some sno-caps, will ya?

"What?"

"Aren't you going to get something from the snack counter?" she questioned honestly.

"Seriously?! Have you ever _been_ to a movie? I'm not wasting 35 minutes waiting for the thorazine coma patient working the counter to grab some popcorn, by his hands, and drop it into a two feet deep bucket, one kernel at a time."

"Fine, jerk. I'll just ask Yamcha, I'm sure he wanted something anyway." She whispered lowly, but lacking maliciousness.

_'Fucking tits.'_

"Jesus.. Alright, I'll get your damn sno-caps. Just...give me a few minutes. I need to make a call anyway."

She smiled a beautiful smile. "Okie dokie."

Vegeta stalked from one side of the theater to the other, careful to avoid the ticket checker, whom he could most definitely take anyway. He pushed the doors open to the dark room and walked to the end of the staircase before it rounded to the theater seats. He peeked between the railing and the wall and carefully spied for the man. One of many firsts, luck was on his side. He was sitting second from the end and the seat beside him was empty. With a quick nod to himself, Vegeta began walking up the flight towards him and stopped at his row. "Is this seat taken?" he whispered.

The man wiped popcorn butter from his fingers on the armrest before grabbing his jacket from the seat in question. Vegeta could tell he was confused by the vast array of so many opens seats, but he silently thanked anything that the man obliged. The two men sat, side by side, while Vegeta tried to figure out how he was going to get the requested confection and get down to the bail bond office within a 10 minute span. _' Well, I'll just tell her the phone call turned into an emergency and..and.. ah..Fuck it. They'll be other tits.'_

Showtime.

Vegeta turned to the man and let his eyes size him up for a quick second. The obviously worried look on the man's face prompted him to speak. "W..Why are..you looking at me?..Watch the movie." He could hear the uncertainty in the man's shaky voice. Vegeta tightly gripped the back of the seat in front of him, showcasing his tightly wound neck muscles, and gave an evil grin. "Well, I've already seen this movie and..spoiler alert...

..You die."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note
> 
> Alrighty guys, so this chapter was more of just a set up. There will be more action soon but I needed to get the premise out there without giving too much away. This may or may not be more of a slow-burn type of story. I'm just going to go with it and see how it feels. It had a bit of a humorous feel to me too, which I wanted..but I may transition into more of a serious, darker tone. We'll just have to see. As always R and R and let me know about gross grammatical errors. Oh and I'm rating this M for language but let me know if you guys are interested in some lemonade ;) If you are (and you know I like it sowa. Woot)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one is here! Hope you guys enjoy! And there will be a long flashback so everything italicized in the second half is a flashback.

Murder was oddly quiet. No applause or blame. No internal monologue..Just the squandering of a heavily undignified last breath bargaining for a second chance. It was so anemic in comparison to the climactic build-up, that any expectations he had, somehow fell short.

Vegeta stepped back from the pool of blood that was forming around the man's abdomen, careful not to step in it and leave any incriminating evidence. He wondered if there was any point considering this was self-defense, but hard facts about bread crumbs decided the verdict. Walking to the less wounded side of the body he kicked the gun from his hand..just in case. Cocaine is a hell of a drug

He began counting the tiles on the floor as his mind started to wander. _'Is there a sweet spot in the amount of time you let pass before you call the cops?'_ The tiles started running together and forming even smaller squares. He grimaced as he ran his fingers across the welts forming on his taut neck. The tactile sensation brought him back to a reality he didn't really feel like dealing with at the moment. He chalked his evasive mind up to just being in shock and found a seat opposite the body.

_'Body? That's all he was now... Just a body.'_

Less than five minutes ago he had a name, children, frequent flyers miles and now he was just a vessel for overly prideful bodily functions to prove that they didn't need him, he needed them. They'll live on, even if only for a few days at most. But him? Nah. The sun has set on that relationship. He furrowed his brows and averted his eyes away to allow himself to think.

 _Was_ he in shock? He found it slightly unsettling that the body bleeding out in front of him was no more intimidating than signing for a new car or going to the dentist. There was no gut-wrenching fear. No bad precedence. Nothing..supernatural. So what happens now then? Should he mourn for this man, for this man's kids?..For himself? Well, all things considered, it was a decent shot, so perhaps he should hold up a score card and search him for loose change..

He ran his fingers through his hair haphazardly, pulling out a few loose strands. He rolled the strands between his thumb and forefinger and interrogated them unceremoniously. A quick tug of his cheeks pushed any further doubt aside that this _wasn't_ happening. So that's it then. He killed someone. In self-defense? Maybe. But it still happened. It still happened and things were different now. _He_ was different now.

Or maybe not. Maybe he wasn't different. Maybe he was more himself than he ever was. The only hint of emotion the seeping mass of sinew and contrition on the floor seemed to elicit was poorly timed jokes. Typical. Somewhere along the way his brain must've lost it's coding for empathy and compassion and rewired them to aloofness and disdain.

_'God..that seems tragic, doesn't it..?'_

...

But what really happened here? How did it get so out of control? He always prided himself _on_ self-control and for _this_ ..to happen? God damn...  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

_The grip on his arm tightened significantly as the steel barrel imprinted a cool circle on his abdomen. "This is supposed to be a horror movie, so I'm not sure anyone will answer if you scream." The look on Vegeta's face gave nothing away, but his eyes had the slightest hint of someone who, for whatever reason, was quite experienced in the matter. It was somewhat unsettling how little of a fight he put up._

_They both stood up, close enough to look like something unnatural might be going on between them, and walked out the theater. Vegeta stopped them both as he saw the concession stand. "I've got to get something. Now, we're going to walk over there together, purchase something disgusting, and you're not to say anything, right?" The man nodded as the gun dug deeper into his side, still covered by Vegeta's jacket sleeve. With a box of solidified cavity waiting to happen in tow, they made their way out the door to the car._

_"A..Are you going to kill me?"_

_"What?! No!" Vegeta's lip curled up in surprise as it met the corner of his eye as he pulled out of the parking lot._

_"You're wanted for unpaid child support and some overdue speeding tickets. I'm not sure how your bounty got so high, but-"_

_"I have 9 kids."_

_"Ah...Regardless I'm-"_

_"Seven daughters. Seven young, ...beautiful daughters.."_

_"Right.." Vegeta quickly stanched the perplexed look on his face to not further corroborate his confused tone._

_"ANYWAY ..I'm not going to kill you. I'm just here to take you in. I don't actually kill people. The whole spoiler alert think just sounded clever, right?"_

_Much to Vegeta's chagrin, the tone of the man's voice changed from scared to downright petrified as he looked down to the Vegeta's lap."Then what's with the gun?" Vegeta gritted his teeth. "Self-defense in case things go.." he made a circular hand gesture "awry..". He wasn't even sure why he answered his question. He looked over and noticed his passenger was sweating profusely and had developed a glowing pallor. Something in Vegeta's gut started to turn slightly and the level of apprehension in the air was becoming tangible. "I'm sure they'll let you off if you take care of some of your back payments." he spit out with an annoyed tone._

_"They won't let me off.. they'll send me away. Away from my family... away from my kids..away from all kids...". Vegeta swallowed audibly and tried to focus on the road in front of him. Things were off..definitely off._

_For the first time in a long time, Vegeta didn't have anything to say. The overtly stagnant air was becoming too suffocating so he reached for the toggle switch to turn the A.C. on with the hand not steering._

_Just as his fingers gripped the switch, the gun simultaneously left his lap. Not a nano-second passed before Vegeta grabbed for the man's hand in an attempt to get him to release it. His other hand reached over and he dug his nails deep into Vegeta's hand as he used leverage to wrestle the closer to his chest. The swerving of the car forced Vegeta to let go and retract his now bleeding hand. With both hands firmly adhered at ten and two, Vegeta furnished a very, very rare look of distress. But which was more worrisome? That he now had a gun pointed at him or that he let is guard down, just for a second?_

_"J..Just..JUST STOP THE CAR!"_

_"We're in the middle of a highway. I can't pull over now.." Vegeta stated calmly. "Besides..we both know you're not really going to shoot me. If you wanted to-.."_

_Vegeta heard the gun cock. 'Shit. Wrong thing to say I guess.'_

_The pair kept driving in awkward silence and every now and then the man would tell him to turn here or there. He directed him to an industrial part of town that was sure to be scarcely populated at that time of night.._

_Vegeta pulled up onto the dusty lot._

_An abandoned warehouse..'How cliche..'_

_The two sat in the car and Vegeta just kept his eyes forward. Trying to think of how to gain the upper hand, the man finally spoke. "G..Go in there." He pointed to a door on the back side of the building. "And don't get out too fast. I'm going to get out and go behind you. I..If you run..I don't know what I might do." The threat sounded empty but he also never would've imagined this guy had the balls to try to get his gun either. Vegeta exhaled agitatedly and slowly exited the vehicle. Good to his word, the man got out quickly and was behind him, gun pushed into his back, in a matter of seconds._

_The door was locked so Vegeta was ordered to punch through the small window and unlock it. Once inside, he walked them over to a large bay window with a little bit of light shining through. They two stood in silence and stared at each other.._

_With the gun still pointed towards Vegeta, the man pulled out a wallet and let a few pictures, secured in sleeves, unfold. He dangled the pictures in front of his face and began to smile as his eyes welled._

_"Have you ever done anything terrible...Anything you regret but would do over and over again if you had the chance?" He sniffed a few times and closed his eyes and tears began to fall. With his mouth slightly agape, Vegeta just stood there._

_An unidentifiable cacophony began to permeate the building. It sounded of a mixture between a cackling hyena and a heartbroken child who lost their precious new puppy. What few hairs that remained close to Vegeta's skin were now standing on end. Still frozen, he just stood there. Stood there and watched as this man fell apart. He could see the veins grow thicker in his hand as the grip on the gun somehow tightened even more. Then the flood gates opened..._

_It was actually kind of pathetic to watch. Sure he'd seen grown men cry before..but this? This was just...sad. He was literally coming apart at the seams over what? Some over due bills? There had to be more Vegeta reconciled.. The sheer amount of phlegm and other liquids escaping his orifices were testament to that. Not to mention the fact that he himself was technically now a hostage.._

_Through incoherent breaths, the man started mumbling. Vegeta was sure he heard something akin to 'It wasn't supposed to be like this' and 'tell the girls I love them'. The man dropped to his knees and brought his hands to his face to cry in some more._

_Vegeta took this as his only opportunity if he wanted to see any tits ever again. 'Should I lunge at him? Try to talk him off the ledge? I can definitely take him, but how do I get the gun away?' Surely it wouldn't be long before the man came to and decided to use the weapon on one of them. It was now or never. Vegeta never did beat around the bush._

_With one quick leap forward his hand grabbed for the wrist wielding the gun and his body weight knocked the man down. He was surprised how strong the man's grip became as he tried to weasel the gun away from him. 'Shit, so it's true about backing a mouse into a corner..' Vegeta felt a knee drive into his stomach and nails claw his neck causing him to slightly lessen his hold on the psycho's wrist. He jerked his hand away from Vegeta and scrambled to get to his feet. Vegeta swung his leg around knocking him back down to his feet._

_When he hit the ground the gun came dislodged slightly from his hand. They both went for it at the same time, but the man re-tightened his grip, aimed haphazardly and fired._

_All Vegeta could hear was a buzzing sound. Everything seemed to slow down and he could almost feel tremors evacuating his bones en route to his skin. He wasn't really sure what the hell was happening but he thought he could faintly make out jumbled words. Whether they were coming out of his mouth or the other occupant's he wasn't sure. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was even alive. There was no bright light to follow so..? Of course the light most likely wouldn't be white or bright in his case, so it was moot._

_What felt like minutes must of only been seconds as Vegeta's adrenaline kicked in and was on top of the man again. He decided he would either get the gun away this time or die trying. No honor in dying if you don't try._

_He felt the butt of the gun slam down on his head repeatedly as he started to see spots. Feeling faint, he let the gun slam down for a final time and as it made contact he let his grip on the man's neck go and squeezed his hands around the gun clad pair. Assuming it couldn't hurt, Vegeta prayed that the gun was facing the right direction as his finger made its way to the trigger._

...

..

_It was weird. He really thought it would've been a head shot. How did the barrel of the gun get pointed down so far?_

_"Well that's neither here nor there..'_

_It was a bit alarming how quickly he regained his composure._  
0-0-0-0-0 

He blew out a flustered breath and dialed three numbers on his phone.

It crossed his mind to send a quick text to that spiky-headed idiot, but decided to send one to that long-spiky headed idiot instead.

_Raditz..We need to talk..NOW (expletive emoji)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUTHORS NOTE:
> 
> Alright guys, you now have the basic gist of it in case the first chapter threw you off. Of course there will be more twists and turns ahead but now at least you have a theme. Sorry the "fight scene" was lacking. I've never written one before so I'll need to plan better next time. And yes, you'll see your favorite characters again. I just needed to set up the story. Oh and BTW, another writer said this once and it's very true. "Yamcha is just a good foil"
> 
> I actually like him as a character. It's just convenient for writing to bash him. 
> 
> With all that, please R and R. I know it seems trivial and can be a pain, but reviews are like textual gold to writers. I love writing these stories but a little feedback seriously makes my day! So good or bad, please remember to leave feedback on stories you read. Happy readings guys!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No DBZ ownership.
> 
> Ok guys...sorry it took so long to get this one out. I pretty much rewrote this chapter 3 times and I'm still unhappy with it. Again, sorry. It wasn't fun to write and it might not be fun to read.. I'm not really sure what happened here? Truthfully I'm not. This chapter was supposed to go much much farther but for whatever reason it stalled. Then I got sick of looking at it. I don't like posting stuff I'm not happy with normally, but I just want to get this one out of the way. At least it does introduce some new characters. So there's that.
> 
> But..umm...enjoy?

The sound of phones ringing and papers being pushed was starting to give Vegeta a migraine as he waited around for the moron who put him up to this, supposedly unbeknownst to him. He snorted to himself as he looked around the police station and couldn't help but notice that he looked like he was in an episode of Night Court. Minus the honorable Harry Stone.

For the first time, he looked down and realized he must've lost his watch somewhere in the scuffle, so he surmised on his own that it had been at least an hour and a half since he gave his statement. With his phone in his car and little else to do, he started making up names for the vast amounts of prostitutes that kept walking by. _'She looks like a Butterscotch.. There's Lickety Split. Eww that one's definitely Your Name Here.. and ah...there goes Pammy.'_

About twenty minutes into his left cheek falling asleep, a familiar 'do made its way from behind a door with someone of obvious importance's name on it. "Sorry it took a little while. You want some water or anything?" Raditz asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"No.." Vegeta said in irritation. He looked around at the gaggle of street walkers, "But a glass of penicillin might be nice."

"I'll get right on it" Raditz halfway laughed, but not before giving a very unsuccessfully low key wave to a few of the 'repeat customers' dressed in what had to be children's size shirts and hot pants maybe? Vegeta sneered but refused to lower himself to the indecency of the situation.

"I know you don't usually deal with all the red tape and formalities, but I do need you to give one last brief summary of what happened to my superior. Vegeta huffed to himself and he couldn't help but think of a mental list of Raditz's 'superiors': everyone at the police station, all the children at school, that scar-faced-No..no that would be going to far..

"Yeah, alright..."

He followed Raditz into the office he had just come out of and took a seat in the chair directly in front of this 'superior', while Raditz leaned against a nearby wall. The leather chair in front of him rotated slightly so the man was looking right at him. He was big. Big by anyone standards, but with Vegeta being somewhat on the smaller side of average (only height-wise guys *wink wink)..He was fuckin' huge. The giant didn't bother introducing himself either, he just started talking.

"Impressive. You have a solid close rate on all your bounties and it seems that you've stayed within the guidelines of 'not to be injured beyond reasonable expectancy'..Well, for the most part anyway..But I digress. So get on with. What happened exactly?" The man unclasped his hands and grabbed a pen and a notepad, preparing to jot some notes.

Getting right to the point and forgoing the small talk was an ideology Vegeta could get behind, so he decided he would entertain the idea of the whole story. So he began...

...

...

..

It probably should've been harder to watch. He probably should've attempted a reassuring word and saved the indictment sheets for later. He _really_ shouldn't of been getting a slight jolly from the state of the person crammed into the all too small chair a few feet away as he gave a second testimony..

...But there was a little part of him that found it gratifying to see Vegeta squirm, even just a bit. The man was always so indisputable and proud. Like an impenetrable wall contrived of cast stones and mortar emotion. Besides, it wasn't like he was falling apart here, he just didn't look as 'haughty' as he normally did.

So was it really so wrong to derive a scant amount of brief contentment from that?

Yes. Yes it was actually. Not because of Vegeta's current state of questionable discomfort. No, let's honest, Vegeta was _born_ to be uncomfortable.

It was because the person sitting catty-corner to him, someone he had known for what seemed like millennia, most likely because of his brass personality and unapologetic attitude, was in a select group of people who had 'taken a life', and that was congruent with accountability.

The Vegeta he knew could deal with accountability. He just couldn't deal with it being doled out to him like it was a school assignment. That was going to be a problem. Raditz reined in his internal happy dance when the glare Vegeta and his superior were giving him told him to cut out whatever shit was going through that harebrained skull of his.

"Well I appreciate anything else you can give me, if it comes to you. I know these statements can be a pain, but I need to get as much information as I can on what transpired. Apparently, this guy wasn't just skipping out on child support. The sick fuck was "messing around" with childr-"

"Yeah I gathered that." Vegeta cut the man off. "He was babbling on about not seeing his kids or daughters or..I don't know..something.. ever again." Vegeta almost started to sound frantic with the tone of his voice. But his pride got the better of him and he quickly stanched that. There was something that was bothering him though.

"How did you seriously not know about this anyway?" He turned his attention back to Raditz in an attempt to not let the 'superior' speak yet. He hadn't done nearly enough reprimanding of his own. "I thought I was busting some cheap ass deadbeat who-"

"Hey!" The man's yell echoed through the small office, successfully cutting off a pissed Vegeta. "I know it's unfortunate that all this happened, but sometimes there's just no way of knowing what kind of people you're dealing with. It's not his fault...entirely." The man shot Raditz a curt look. "These things slip through the cracks sometimes and that's just the way it is. Why do you think you sign so many waivers before each assignment?"

Vegeta exhaled though his nose and quirked one eyebrow in concession.

The large man got up and made his way towards the obviously too small door frame, but not before resting a hand on Vegeta's shoulder. "Well, like I said. If you think of anything other details about what he was saying about the kids, please let me know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call to the poor fuck's estranged wife.."

"See yourselves out when your ready."

His wife? His _wife_? Vegeta never thought about that part. He knew the guy had a family and assumed his children didn't just materialize out of thin air..but _wife_? God, that sounded so familial, so nuclear..so..warm.

"Wife?"

Raditz looked back to Vegeta, whom was still wedged into his chair. "Well..yeah. His estranged wife. They were separated or the divorce was just finalized or some shit. In any case, it's just protocol. We have to write up the report and get any testimonies to rule out possibility of the perp being alive and _then_ we officially make 'the call' to family."

He didn't respond, rather just looked out the window towards a street light. Raditz had known him long enough to know indiscernible huff number three meant he felt...something. Maybe not guilt, maybe not remorse, but definitely something in his personal dictionary of rarely used vernacular.

And then of course his own guilt set in at the absence of a snarky comment from his equally well quaffed friend. He was being a jackass earlier, enjoying watching Vegeta struggle a little with getting the story out a second time. Eh. well, it was sort of their thing he reconciled. Faux antipathy was just the language that they spoke. The problem was Vegeta just wasn't the 'console or be consoled' type, so Raditz wasn't really sure what to do at this point. He did _kill_ someone after all, so needing some sort of catharsis wasn't beyond any reasonable expectation. Even for someone as apathetic and sturdy as Vegeta-

Because he really did kill someone. Someone with a family, even if it was of questionable constructs.

Vegeta turned his attention back towards the empty desk in front of him and squinted for a nano second. "If you're done with twenty questions, I'm going home. But feel free to play another round of 'would do her/who hasn't done her' with your fan club of girls with daddy issues out there." There wasn't as much conviction behind it as normal, but it was well played enough that Raditz assumed he would be slightly more 'himself' in a few days.

He just had to get through this next part, you know, for karma and shit. "Look, I know you're not into the whole 'let's have a powwow and talk about our feelings thing', but you know I am here for you, right? Just..just let me know. Whatever you need."

He was a little relieved when Vegeta just grunted, gave a half-assed nod and began walking out. Once he was alone, he picked up the paperweight on his superior's desk that could double as a mirror. He adjusted his tie and began matting down any fly-aways that were visible in the reflective globe, before walking out into the detaining area himself.

"Well helloooo ladies..Who needs bail?"  
0-0-0-0-0 

Damn it all...

Just when he thought he was going to get to go home and sleep this off like a really bad hangover..

"Hey! Vegeta! Hey, over here!"

God, it was worse than salt in a wound. He closed his eyes in defeat and looked towards the origin of the sound getting closer across the station parking lot. This night really just couldn't end could it?

"What the hell are you doing here Kakarot?"

"Raditz texted me about two hours ago. He said you were assaulted or something at the movies? We were wondering why you didn't come back but I didn't check my phone until the movie was over. I mean we thought you just bailed or something because you didn't like-"

"Assaulted?!" The genuine concern on goofy's face only served to piss him off.

"You think I can't handle myself? Like I would let my guard down enough for some chump to assau-"

"Calm down homeboy, he was just concerned.. We all were."

 _'Homeboy? Tch..like I didn't just say that yesterday..'_ He managed to get his voice back to a normal decibel, considering they still were at the police station. He looked over Goku's shoulder and saw blue tendrils bouncing towards them. "I swear to god if scar-face shows up too...", he grumbled to himself, or so he thought.

"Don't worry about that." Bulma laughed as she took a spot beside him. "It's just us. Yamcha took Chi-Chi back to her and Goku's place and he went home. I dropped my car off at my apartment and the two of us came down here." Studying his face a little closer, her autonomous 'gift' kicked in and she could tell he registered their concern as a means of emasculation."Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that money-maker of yours was okay and well..obviously you and Goku go way back so.."

Money-maker? He stiffened at her choice of words. Did she know something? Did she know what really happened? Did Raditz say something? As far as he recalled he didn't say anything about making any money..

"Money maker?", he stumbled in an irritated tone.

His reaction wasn't what she expected, but having no reason to dig further she tried to appeal to a different side. "Yeah. You know, your face." She gave him a quick wink. He rolled his eyes and let out the breath he was holding.

"Well as you can see, I'm fine and it has been a long night so if you two could kindly.. fuck off." Vegeta gave a mock grin and gestured a hand motion.

Goku pulled a Raditz and scratched the back of his head, "Well, it's already pretty late so if everything is ok, I need to get back to Chi-Chi. She may not make me anymore food tonight if I'm out any longer. I'm the opposite direction and you guys are actually pretty close to each other..so would you mind taking her home Vegeta? Pretty please?"

It really was getting too late for all of this shit.. So he blew out an exasperated breath. "Fine."

"Thanks! I owe ya. Want to come by maybe tomorrow or Sunday for a quick spar? You can tell me all about what happened tonight." Not wanting to further the conversation, he just grunted and began walking towards his car, with or without Blue. Like he would want to talk to anyone about what happened tonight.  
0-0-0-0-0 

"So what happened tonight?"

God damnit...

Vegeta quickly glanced over to his passenger as her face was illuminated by a passing street light.

"Look, we've exchanged like two jokes and maybe five sentences, so I don't think we know each other well enough to get into that, eh?", he shot back at her

"Geez..it was just a question. You mean to tell me you wouldn't even be a little bit curious if one of your friends stepped out for a snack and never came back? Or when you did see them they looked like they stepped out of a shillelagh fight? Not to mention, if it's possible, you seem even more high strung than before."

Vegeta gripped the steering wheel just a little bit tighter. "First off, no one says "shillelagh fight". Ever. Second, we're not friends. Third,...just no to **all** of that."

Bulma just flared her nostrils and set her jaw as she looked out her window. The second point stung a bit, but he was right. They weren't friends. Maybe she had some unrealistic expectations about tonight. Maybe she was just desperate to fit in and was trying to force something that wasn't right or at least wasn't ready. It's so damn hard to make friends as an adult and maybe she overstepped her bounds by thinking she had been let into their little 'circle' already.

 _Buuuut,_ since they weren't friends, yet, he had no idea how stubborn she could be. "Well, they way you answered my questions leads me to believe whatever happened tonight wasn't random. Did you know this guy? Was this some sort of premeditated act?" She pulled the corner of her lip into an evil smirk. "Or maybe you were messing around with someone's _wife?_ "

If the last 48 hours taught her anything, it was to expect a much more aggressive, albeit, entertaining reaction. She waited for him to blow up, slam on brakes, open the door and push her out..anything. Instead, she was greeted by downtrodden air and palpable tension. She thought about retracting her prior statement, but she really didn't know what she did wrong, so she compromised by not prodding him further.

"Umm..I'm the next complex up." she quipped quietly.

He drove past the pool house, ignoring the speed limit sign, and pulled up to the front of the breezeway she said her apartment was located in. She took the sound of the doors unlocking as her cue to 'get the fuck out', but ending it like this just left a bad taste in her mouth. "I'm on the second floor..can you wait until I'm inside before you leave? Or if you don't mind walking me up?"

He didn't answer. Just stared through the tempered glass in front of him. Taking the hint, she didn't say anything, just unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the door handle.

"How many steps is it? I wasn't lying when I said I've had a _very_ long night", he huffed.

She gave him a triumphant smile. "It's just the two flights. Maybe twelve steps each? I just moved to the area so I haven't really met any of my neighbors yet and I'm not sure who-"

Vegeta held up his hand in attempt to silence her babbling. "Long night."

"Right.."

He waited while she attempted a third key and thought about making a custodial joke, but he was just too exhausted. When the fourth time was a charm, she opened the door with an overzealous "Ta Da". Being nighttime, he couldn't see if she had any swings hanging from the ceiling or if any misplaced handcuffs proved his theory right. But his job was done, so he turned on his foot without so much as a good night and headed for the staircase.

"At least wait till I turn a light on. There could be a murderer waiting for me in there."

...

..

_"Not much better out here" he groused to himself._

"What was that?"

He shook his head and turned once again as she flipped the switch by the entrance door.

"Come in for a minute at least. I know we're not friends, but maybe we could get to know each other better."

What exactly was she proposing? "Look, I've only actually _known_ you for a total of maybe 3 hours, give or take. If I came in, no pun intended, I don't think this would be much more than just a misnomered booty call. Which normally, I wouldn't object to but-"

"WHAT?!"

For the second time that night, Vegeta said the wrong thing..

"What the hell does that mean? What kind of person says something like that? You think I'm just some cheap slut? Like I'm so desperate I would lower myself to a one night stand with someone who obviously has no interest in me..?"

"Well, that _is_ what a one night stand is..but no I wasn't suggesting that. Well, I mean I was, but-"

"Listen Buster, I was just trying to be a 'friend', though you've made it perfectly clear you're not interested. I wasn't trying to.." she paused for a moment realizing it was late and she did have sleeping neighbors. "I wasn't trying to obligate you or suggest anything." She softened her voice. "I really did just move to the area and I just haven't gotten to know anybody here. I didn't have a lot of friends where I came from and..and I don't know, I just thought if I was more assertive and outgoing... things would be different here. I know you're tired and it's late but.." She attempted a smile. "You could at least let me look at your neck."

Vegeta instinctively cupped the long forgotten scratch on his neck covered by his collar. It stopped bleeding hours ago, but the light in her apartment brought out obvious red stains on his white shirt. "I am a nurse, you know."

He dropped his hand to his side and metaphorically held up his white flag.

Per her instruction, he took a seat on her couch as she got a bottle from the freezer and a bottle from the bathroom. She sat down the two bottles on the coffee table and grabbed a tissue from the box as she seated herself beside him. "This might sting a bit, but I've got just the thing for that too." She held up the bottle from the freezer as if she was trying to sell a demonstration. "But you don't get this until I'm done. Think of it as an adult lollipop. You do drink, right?"

Alcohol, hot nurse, 'lollipops'? Yeah, this had to be an episode of Night Court. Or Co-ed Confidential...N..Not that he knew what that was or anything..

"Occasionally."

"Good. Now hold still." She saturated the rag in something that smelled exceedingly sterile and pressed it against his neck. Her stomach knotted a little at the sensation of his corded muscles under her finger indentions the damp rag produced. She mentally went through the checklist of reasons to forget her inhibitions: Smells good, check. Looks good, check. Probably wouldn't tell anyone about this, check. Could potentially put Ron Jeremy to shame, check? But then she chastised herself for even considering that with the earful she had just given him a few minutes prior. But damn did he smell good.. and when was the last time she had sex anyway?

...

..

_"You've been a naughty girl.. I think you need a spanking..."_

_"Hmm..maybe I have been naughty.. I can't help it though. She bit her finger seductively and looked up at him. "When I'm around you I just want to do bad things to you." She unhooked the top button of her nurse costume. "Wouldn't it be bad of me to tease you with my tongue but not give you anything else."_

_"That would be bad. Maybe a spanking isn't enough.." He pushed the top part of her dress down to her hips and unzipped his pants. "Maybe I need to gag you with something.. " She looked at the increasing bulge threatening to fall out of his pants and bit her lip. "But then I can't hear you scream my name. I guess I'll have to find another way to punish you." He pulled her up off of her knees and tugged her dress to the ground. He spun her around and gave her a quick slap on the bottom, causing her to squeal with delight._

_"You've been extra naughty.. so I'll need to get creative.."_

_"I've always hated being tickled.." she cooed. "I might have something for that in the top drawer over th-"_

_"NO. That's not enough.."_

_"Well, I really hate when you come on my fac-"_

_"..I'm going to rape your sister and shoot your dog..."_

...

..

_"I'm not paying for the uber."_

...

..

She shuddered at the thought as she peeled the makeshift rag off of his neck. "You know, this actually looks pretty cool. Look's like you had yourself a 'good time'." She winked and subsequently laughed when he made a disgusted face. "Vulgar woman."

"I'm the vulgar one? I'm not the one pitching a tent so high in my pants, it shows through my jacket."

"What? I'm not.." He looked down faster than his face could redden and noticed there was a protrusion coming from the jacket strewn across his lap. He let out a sigh and reached into the inside pocket and pulled out a box of sno-caps.

Okay, so her face was really cute when she was happy. Like it's really late and I'm super tired so I might just forget everything I said earlier kind of cute.

She leaned across him for the box, just as he pulled it out of her reach. "What are they worth to you?" he grinned lazily yet deliciously.

'The smolder' was a universal invitation to the pants party right?

It was a guessing game who made the first move but the crimson stained shirt was the first to come off, followed by her shirt and someone's socks. She straddled his lap and attempted to make a matching mark on the other side of his neck with her mouth. He gripped her waist and pulled her back, realizing he didn't want to go to work with 'ask me how my weekend was' tattooed on his neck. He slid his hands down her butt and under her thighs, lifting both of them off the couch as she started kissing his face.

"..Bedroom...that way", she panted between kisses as she wrapped her legs around him. They landed on her bed with a thud and him on top of her as she started taking his pants off.

He reached behind his back and pulled his white undershirt over his head. She stood up to shimmy out of her pants and froze when she saw the man in front of her that had to be chiseled out of stone. Had she ever used the word perfection to describe anything other than the aforementioned death by chocolate cake? If so, she took it back. She took it all back. All except that damn cake.

He leaned to the side and grabbed her while she was still entranced, pulling her onto the bed. She straddled his lap again, enjoying the pulsating covered by the thin material of their underwear. She leaned down to kiss him but felt a warm hand to her chest instead.

"...Are you sure?"  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah..I wasn't lying. This chapter was bleh. It was like it didn't know when to be over but I didn't get nearly as far with it as I should've pace wise..? At some point I just said, "Fuck it. This ends here" and cut it off. Regardless, I've made peace with it and I'm not going to fret about it anymore. Next one will be better. I'll try to get it out sooner as well, but I'm doing my typical 'hiding behind my one-shot' thing' and I'm working on a piece for HannaBellLecter at the moment. I still appreciate reviews if you guys are up to it this go round.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me just preface this chapter by saying this one that was posted was my FOURTH rendition. I kid you not. I got so flustered with it for some reason. Arrrrr.... It was maddening! But I have to say. This is easily my favorite version so I hope it justifies the wait.
> 
> Ok, so for this chapter and probably hereafter, I did the character thoughts a little differently. Instead of italics with single quotes, they're just italics in this one. I'm sure you guys are smart enough to figure out the difference between character's thoughts and single emphasized words. It just got to be annoying with the single quotes. And the last part is a flashback so the one line that is a thought isn't italicized, just normal text. Well I hope this Chapter is better than the last. So sorry it took so long to get out! I hope you guys enjoyed my one shot for HannaBellLecter though. It was so amazing collaborating with her!!

Slamming his fist down on his alarm, Vegeta rolled over and debated skipping his workout. Mondays were the always the day his bed chose to be the most comfortable but given the weekend he had, it was like sleeping in a marshmallow peep. A bunny shaped one to be specific. He grabbed his phone before the snooze could go off again and squinted at the time. He still had a good hour and a half before work so maybe he'd do a quick workout and skip breakfast instead.

With his legs wobbling and his shoulders on fire, he peeled off his training shorts and set the shower to ultra-inferno. The water stung the still healing scrape on his neck and when he brought his hand to it, he unintentionally brought back some memories of that night as well. He sighed and leaned against the shower wall, letting the scalding water punish the raging semi he was egregiously sporting. His weekend consisted of dead bodies, cock blocks and a shitty movies... So yeah, better just burn that dick off.

After buttoning his shirt, he rolled up one sleeve and started to look for his watch. He blew out a huff of air and tilted his head towards the ceiling when he couldn't find it. For all he knew it was in some pawn shop or on some Shawty's wrist. Probably had the face changed out for a wall clock..

He went into the kitchen and when he glanced at the microwave clock he debated grabbing a quick bite to eat. The only cereal in his pantry was either LBGTQ loops or corrugated bran with raisins. Neither sounded appealing so he convinced himself he had enough time for coffee and bagels.

The smell of blueberry and cinnamon raisin bagels teased his palate as he entered the cafe closest to his house. He studied the array of coffee and espresso drinks carefully, confused at what the real difference was between most of them, but turned his attention to his surroundings when something else caught his eye. He always noticed there never seemed to be a shortage of single (maybe, who cares?), attractive women in his neighborhood, but today the coffee shop seemed to be riddled with wet T-shirt contestants. 

As he walked towards the counter, he caught a couple of suggestive winks and for the first time in 48 hours, he wasn't totally unhappy with his decision. Especially considering the woman behind the counter looked like she moonlighted as a 1-900 operator. Something about her was a little off-putting though. Maybe the fact that she had blue hair? Whatever, the low cut shirt made up for that. After ordering, she handed over his coffee first and gave him his total as he sipped on it.

"...You can stick it in now.."

"Wha-?" he choked into his cup.

"Your credit card, silly" she laughed softly. "It's ready for you.."

She looked down..

..And pointed to the machine. 

"Right.." 

He was starting to think it was all in his head until she made a comment about how much cream she liked in her coffee as she handed him his bagel. 

She was indeed attractive, but the blue hair wasn't doing it for him, so he brushed her comments off and turned towards his phone. She really was more suited for Raditz...

_I WAS KIDDING!!_

"Hey I didn't know you came here." Raditz gave him a quick punch in the shoulder.

The vein on Vegeta's head started to bulge. 

"Why are you here?" he snapped.

"Oh, when I was at your house the other night I took your phone and enabled location so I can see where you're at."

Could a vein go from bulge to straight up aneurism?

Swearing he could feel pictures rattling off walls and plates cracking, Raditz held up his hands in defense. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding! It was a joke."

Vegeta failed to see the humor as a fork mysteriously flew off of someone's plate...

"You know I live like three blocks from here. I come here some mornings before work."  All the words came out cobbled together at break neck speeds and he let out a nervous laugh. "And I mean come on, have you _seen_  some of these chicks? Especially the one behind the counter." 

Vegeta really was a good judge of character.

He brought his hand to his face and muffled something into it, probably an insult. "I'm going to be late for work. Enjoy 36-24-36."

Failing to get the number reference, Raditz waved him off as he stepped up to the counter to order. "So which pie do you recommend..."

-0-0-0-0-

Vegeta strummed his fingers on the table in agitation as he waited for the principal to begin the morning meeting. These meetings were pointless, always ran over and half of the staff didn't even show up. Except today, the room was full. He wasn't even sure if he knew everyone there. Maybe he missed some memo and the 'mandatory' meeting that morning was indeed mandatory. 

A few more people shuffled in, one being the school nurse, just as the principal began his sermon. 

"As everyone knows, the halloween dance is next Friday and--"

A collective grown emanated from the crowd.

The principal raised his voice in annoyance "AND.. we need some volunteers to chaperone. It will be a three hour event and I've split the shifts into one hour each. If I can get three staff on every shift, I only need nine of you. So who's first ..hm?"

Everyone in the room either avoided eye contact or pretended to be checking their schedule. The principal let out huff. "Look, I don't like chaperoning these things either-"

"That's why you never do." Vegeta interrupted.

"Well thank you for being my first volunteer Mr. Ojie."  

"WHAT?! No way. I'm not wasting a Frida-"

"We can make that two shifts if you'd like?" The principal straightened his glasses and began looking around the room for more volunteers.

_Tch..unbelievable._

"Now, we need eight more people. Any takers?"

"No..?"

"Listen, I know everyone showed up so I couldn't recruit you behind your backs, but I don't have to ask. I'm doing this as a courtesy."

The principal pulled out a roster of the faculty names and started calling out a few. It was going in alphabetical order so one faculty member raised their hand before he got to the 'B's.

 "I can do it, it's fine. So long as I get the first shift."

"Ah, thank you Bulma. I'll put you on the first shift with Mr. Ojie then."

She looked over to Vegeta but as soon as their eyes made contact he glared and looked away. 

_What's his deal?_

A few more teachers started volunteering as the rest of the staff snuck off to their classrooms. Vegeta made sure he took the long way, not really feeling like dealing with bodies and organs quite yet. When he did reach his classroom he lingered outside the door listening to someone give a speech about safe sex, presumably prompted by the upcoming dance. He didn't have to guess who was on the other side of the door, but he  _did_  have to go in. He held his breath and entered the room in one quick motion.

"Oh, Hi. You must be Mr. Ojie. I'm Ms. Gero. Nice to meet you." She was concise in her introduction and went back to her spiel. Vegeta stopped halfway to the back of the room and nodded at the blonde woman before resting against the wall. He was surprised it wasn't the school nurse but all things said, he couldn't complain

_And here I thought you had to have bat wings or a table ass to be a female teacher at this school._

Vegeta shook his head at the thought and continued listening as she wrapped things up (HA!).

"And that's why butter isn't a substitute for lubricant. Alright guys, I hope you learned some new stuff and I hope I was able to expound better on some old stuff. If you have any questions.. well go to the nurse first, okay?"

Ignoring the crickets and gagging noises, she walked up to my hubsa...er I mean.. to Vegeta and held out her hand. "It's Ms. Gero, but you can call me Juu. I'm the new school therapist." He shook her hand and noted what a firm grip she had. She didn't really smile at him, just grunted after they broke apart and walked off.

Vegeta walked over to his desk but before he could pull out his roll book, a student raised their hand.

"What?" We haven't even started class yet.

"Can margarine be used in _place_ of butter?"

...This was going to be a long day...

With his last period being his free period, Vegeta chucked the student's papers into his briefcase and decided to head home early. He almost made it to the door when the gym teacher came in with a smile that said he wanted to talk.

"Move Kakarot. I'm going home."

"Well hey, wait a minute. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You never came by to spar this weekend and you didn't really put up much of a fight over the chaperone thing. Everything alright?" he leaned against the door frame with a concerned look on his face. One that Vegeta wanted to claw off..

"I don't need a babysitter" he seethed. "I'm fine. There wasn't really anyway to get out of it this morning and it's only an hour anyway so.." He made a hand gesture for Goku to move. 

"Oh..okay. Well I got stuck with second shift duty but I'm going to see if Chi-Chi wants to come with me. Maybe we'll even show up earlier so we can all hang out. I hear Yamcha's on first shift with you and Bulma."

_Suicide booths aren't real right? I got that from Futurama?_

Vegeta nodded to himself in confirmation, leaving Goku wondering what he was thinking about as he pushed past him and walked down the hallway.

"Well I'm here if you need anything" he hollered after him. He knew he would never deign to do that but he grinned when he thought about the snacks they would have at the dance.

The teacher parking lot was already half empty. Vegeta stood outside of his car fumbling around for his key fob. When he pulled it out of his pocket, it was tangled up in the leather strap that holds it to the other keys. He tugged on it gently at first, trying to ease it off but the more people he saw walking out, the tighter is grip got. He started yanking at it faster, getting red faced and flustered, but still no release. Not caring if he damaged it at that point he gripped it as tight as he could and jerked it off... 

But he didn't jerk it off fast enough...

"How exactly does a teacher afford that car?" 

He almost didn't acknowledge her presence at all, but he was learning how persistent she could be.

"What?"

"I know it's none of my business. But that's a very expensive car and..." she smelled the air around him.

"..that's very expensive cologne." 

He would be lying if he wasn't a little impressed about her knowledge of well..at least the price of the car. And she did know what it was when she walked up to him at the movies..

"You're right, it's not your business." He opened the door to his car.

He was definitely more pleasant when he was half asleep

"I wasn't trying to pry or anything, it's just a nice car and historically...well teachers don't make that much money. Do you invest or something?"

He rolled his eyes and threw his briefcase onto the passenger seat. "Something like that."

She pushed a few of the gravel stones with her feet. 

"Anything else?"

Her eyebrows crinkled . "Actually, yeah. Why are you being so rude?" 

Vegeta smirked. "I'm the rude one? I'm pretty sure I was the one who came bearing gifts and yet ended up in my own bed alone."

She thought the ground was about to split beneath her. "WHAT?! You're pissed because you fell asleep and I didn't bother waking you up to fuck-.." She looked around and lowered her voice closer to a whisper.

"..to fuck you? Seriously?!"

His brows furrowed with rebuttal. "I don't care that you let me sleep! I care that I woke up with another guy three feet away from me!"

Bulma's face went from livid to highly amused when other people in the parking lot started staring at him.

A slight blush started to run across his cheeks and for a second Bulma thought he might actually be more human that he was letting on.

"Look" she sighed. "I just thought that maybe you had a roommate or sibling or someone that might be worried about you if you didn't make it home, especially considering what happened right before. I wasn't trying to make you feel rejected."

Vegeta snorted at the suggestion. Rejected? Seriously, what woman rejects me.

"..Or I don't know... maybe you have a girlfriend or something.." Bulma rubbed her arm nervously, kicking herself for adding that last part in there.

"I can assure you if I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't of been with you that night." 

Vegeta felt a little weird about that statement and wondered if he just implied something he shouldn't have judging by the look on her face. It did effectively shut up her bitching though...so whatever.

But then she opened her mouth again.

"So there's this new therapist around school. Have you seen her? I hear she's really pretty."

Vegeta eyed her carefully wondering where she was going with this. "I have. And yes, she is."

It may have been cruel but the way her nostrils flared slightly at his remark made his chest 'tingle' a little.

Bulma clicked the back of her teeth. "M'kay. She took over my sex ed class this morning. I was booked for two rooms, so the principal got her to cover one of them." She could tell Vegeta's interest was way past gone so she decided to end the conversation on a neutral note.

"I'll be teaching one again tomorrow, your second period class. See ya then." With a wave and a very intentional sway of her hips, she was gone.

It was hard to stay mad with a view like that. But he was truthful in what he said, he wasn't really mad at her, just the case of blue balls he bartered for sleep apparently.

0-0-0-0-0

_"Am I sure..?" She reiterated his question. Her voice seemed different suddenly, but he brushed it off._

_"I'm being nice here. Normally, I wouldn't ask. I just don't want to --.."  
She swayed her head side to side and let out an cacophonous laugh as she clutched his hand and pushed it harder into her chest. He inhaled sharply, not feeling comfortable were this was going, just as strands of hair started falling from her head. She gripped his hand harder and pushed it into her chest. Frozen to the bed, his hand plunged deep into a festered hole that felt much like the inside of a ripe gourd. _

_Autonomously, he shoved his other hand into a small hole in her abdomen and began pulling out filaments of elongated organs covered in gelatinous muck. Her shrill laugh turning into blood curdling screams. But he couldn't stop. He started tugging and ripping at her skin until the only thing left in front of him was a disemboweled skeleton. He pulled out his hands and held them close to his face, examining them. He looked back and forth between his palms and the flayed remains in front of him as the magnitude of his actions set in. Bile began to rise in his throat and his breaths became labored and shallow. He backpedaled to the head of the bed until he ran into it with a 'ding'._  
...  
..  
"What?" Raditz looked over at Vegeta who was strewn haphazardly across the other end of the couch. 

_"What?" he said between heavy pants._

_"You said you have to get your laundry?"_

_He stared at him in bewilderment and looked around the room in quick movements, trying to gain some clarity. Things were getting more confusing by the minute but Vegeta's pride got the better of him so he reined it in._

_"My bad. What I mean to say was what the fuck are you doing here and how did I get to my house?"_

_"Well first off.." Raditz brought up an index finger. "You dream about doing laundry? Ha, that's amazing. My dreams are always so weird. Like I'm running away from something that isn't there or I lose some teeth. Second, was it de-pressing?" He busted out laughing totally ignoring the glare he received._

_"Get it? De-pressing? Like getting garments pressed...cause you were doing lau--.  Ahh. Never mind... But seriously, you look kind of pale. Were the piles of clothes never ending or something?" He teased with a cheesy grin._

_"No." he bit out. "Nothing that stupid." He trailed off momentarily. "But I think the Crypt Keeper might have been there..." Raditz's stupid grin remained. Vegeta rolled his eyes. "What..uh..What happened anyway?" He wiped the remaining sleep out of his eyes and attempted to look at the time on his missing watch again._

_"Oh, right. Well I got a call from my brother who got a call from some gorgeous girl that said you were passed out on her couch." He held up his hand in attempt to get a high five, but Vegeta wouldn't budge, so he dropped it before continuing.  
"Too much alcohol or exhaustion..Something like that. Long story short, I brought you home, watched a little skinemax, put on a movie when I was done and threw some muffins in the oven. Actually I just heard the timer go off right as you woke up. Be right back."_

'So nothing happened then? Pfft..figures. And what did he mean by "When I was done"..?' 

_Vegeta shuddered at the thought and pinched the bridge of his nose to try to piece together the last few hours. He remembered something about camping and tiny Matterhorns..but everything after that was a blur. He gave the night a final shrug and looked for the remote to see what movie Raditz put in._

_With the push of one button, a familiar theme song started emanating from the tv. God he loved that movie_

_~We're going to take a walk outside today. Going to see what we can find today.. Going to take a walk outside today...Going to see what we can find today.. On a pretty little farm~_

_"They're banana-nut!"_

_"Ah.!"Vegeta jumped and halted his lip syncing when the ninja on his right held a tray out in front of him._

_"No thanks. And get out."_

_Raditz just laughed it off and handed Vegeta the remote as he started to gather his things. He packed a few muffins for the road but ultimately left most of them for Vegeta._

_Turning off the tv, he headed for the bedroom and started undressing. Had his bed ever been this comfortable? He almost started purring when he slid his body into it against the grain of the silk sheets. He rolled his head back and forth across the pillow taking advantage of how cool it was. It was only a matter of minutes before he was out again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well since it took me so long to get that one out, I threw in some extra raunchy humor. In fact, I just threw in extra humor period. I may tone it down a little from this point on as I do need to start to progress the story a little more rapidly. Sorry it's kind of slow. I promise you'll see more of the actual story arc develop. I'm still working out the kinks with character interaction and dialogue and blah blah blah. 
> 
> I also added in the bad dream because even though we all know typical Vegeta is an emotionless husk, he should still feel some effects from killing someone right? Oh and I didn't really edit this one too carefully since I just wanted to get it out to you guys, so let me know of errors. Now with all that...Enjoy
> 
> Don't forget to R and R. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to DBZBV1991 for the great feedback! It's a struggle for me as well to have to wait on the lemony goodness. And thanks for a heads up on the references. They can be a bit dated and may cater to a specific crowd but eh.. I'll win the rest over with smut!
> 
> Shout out to musicofthespheres as well. I'm so sorry!! I know I promised substance, but I just can't seem to get off my comedy kick. Maybe it's my attempt at a bit of catharsis since I don't blog or anything and have no other outlets for my humor, but I'll have some other stories for you.
> 
> Shout out to HannaBellLecter too, just cause I like you!

"And you didn't see anybody else?"

He studied the man's face carefully, looking for any signs of falsification or inconsistency, but he found it hard to focus with the chattering of ceramic.

"N..No..No just the young lady. She checked in by herself. Paid in cash." The scruffy hotel clerk tilted back his cup, getting every last drop and Nappa couldn't help but wonder if it was the obvious years of alcoholism or the scene he welcomed his morning with in Room 308 that was causing him to slowly chip away at his tea cup. 

Nappa ran a large palm over his face and rested his hand under one side of his jaw briefly before reaching into his coat pocket.

"Well take my card and call me, **and only me** , if anyone _suspicious_  comes around?"

"Suspicous huh?" The clerk scratched the stubble on his chin. "Well now that you mention it, there was a younger man that came around a few days ago, asked for that room in particular. Room 308. Don't know if he stayed there, but he paid cash too so I didn't take down a name."

"And that's protocol? If they pay cash, you don't ask? And why didn't you say anything an hour ago when I first asked you?" The man cowered under Nappa's scrutiny.

"I..I've owned this hotel for 34 years. I've never had a problem until this morning. Truthfully, I've had a significant increase in the amount of cash paying customers the last few years, so it didn't seem like pertinent information. Mostly just younger women too. I just didn't really thi-"

"Do you remember what he looked like at least?" he snapped at the man, cutting him off.

"I..I..If you show me a picture maybe I could point him out? Bum eye, ya know? The glaucoma." The man sat the saucer on his desk and pulled a tissue out of his back pocket, wiping off his forehead before bringing it to his nose.

"Wait here." 

Nappa returned from his car a moment later with a few blurry photographs and an artist rendering.

"Ringing any bells?"

The older man squinted one eye and traced his finger along the graphite before focusing on the photographs. "That one." He pointed to the second photo in the lineup. The one that most resembled the rendering.

"And you're sure?"

"Well, my memory isn't what it used to be, but I'd bet a few ponies on it."

"Gambling's a bad habit." Nappa stuffed the picture back into a folder he was holding and tucked it neatly under his arm before shoving a finger into the man's face.

"Don't talk to anyone else about this. No friends, no family, no one. As far as you're concerned this never happened. Got it?"

He nodded in agreement but Nappa was seasoned to dealing with civilians and knew the man didn't absorb anything he said; corroborated by what came out of his mouth next.

"Well what about my room?

"Your _room_ is officially an active crime scene. I'll try to get someone down here to get the body out in a timely manner and clean what we can but as of now, that whole floor is condemned until further notice.

He left the hotel clerk to work out the conniption he was having on his own while he headed towards his car to pull up a profile on his laptop.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Thanks for coming with me. Not sure how I could decide between slutty slut or slutty corn on the cob by myself." Bulma held up a provocative piece of produce across her front and quirked an eyebrow in the mirror.

"Well you can always go as a slutty nurse." Chi-chi said with a grin. "But yeah, your welcome. I'm just glad I finally have another woman to go shopping with. I don't think Goku's ever seen anything but the food court here. Maybe that place with the free pretzel samples."

"At least he's really cute. A little on the lighter side upstairs but he seems really sweet. How did you guys meet?"

"Well the first year I taught here, we had an end of the year festival for all the elementary students. You know, where they have games, contests, rides..those sort of things?

Bulma nodded as she tested the elasticity of a pair of panties she picked up.

"Well that same year a new budget approval came through for some renovations. They decided to remove most of the playground equipment and replace it with those weird artsy jungle gym things. A pretty healthy budget was approved so they expanded the playground and it took over most of the ball field. The last two months of school it was nothing but fertilizer and mud so they decided to have the festivities in the high school gym and courtyard since it's within walking distance to the elementary school."

"Ah. And that's where you met Goku? How does this one look?" Bulma held a dress up against her body and turned a few times in front of the mirror. 

"Too short. Yeah he was actually helping set up some of the wooden booths in the gym with Yamcha. I was setting up a table for the bake sale, putting out some display pastries. I turned around to grab a few things from the boxes I stored them in and next thing I know, seven of my muffins are gone."

"It's supposed to be short, it's a halloween costume. Exactly how many muffins do you have..?" Chi-Chi ignored the elbow being jabbed into her side but let out a small chuckle.

"Anyway you pervert....long story short, half the profits I made that day were from him and-

"You let him go all the way behind the bleachers?" She grinned as she picked up a costume with a rabbit wand..? Vibrator..? Whatever.

"Hardy har har.. Now let me finish!" Chi-Chi cleared her throat in mock annoyance.

"As I was saying, he bought over half of the stuff I made and aside from the fruit filling smeared across his face, he was one of the nicest looking guys I met when I moved here."  Bulma thought it was cute how her face flushed a little when she talked about him.

"I was just lucky he wasn't already seeing someone. If you haven't already noticed, this town if pretty much the grand central station of young, attractive women."

Bulma dropped the hat she was holding just as Pamela Handerson walked by. "Yeah..I sort of noticed that..."

"Truthfully though, it wasn't like that when I first moved here. Seems like just the last year or two the ratio of comic book guys to swimsuit model/cowgirl/brain surgeons has doubled. 

"Brain surgeons?" Bulma raised her eyebrow and laughed.

"What? Brains can be sexy. In any case, if you've got your eye on someone, don't wait for them to make the move. Snatch them up before someone else's snatch does..."

She side eyed Chi-Chi and stared laughing at what came out of her mouth. She was sure Chi-Chi was the type to still have separate shoes for church and work.

"Well, I don't have my eye on anyone in particular, but I did have a pretty good time at the movie the other night. Thanks for letting me come by the way. So what do you know about the other two? They don't seem to be fans of each other." Bulma tossed a hat  back on the shelf. "Everything here is sort of played out."

"Yeah, let's try another store. Maybe the one with the slutty ceiling fan costume on display?" Bulma nodded at the suggestion. "Well, I'm not sure what the actual history is there, but I know Goku has known Vegeta for a long time. He's closer to his brother I think though, the one that picked him up the other night?"

Bulma gave her a look that said she didn't really want to talk about it, but quickly dismissed it. It wasn't like anything happened anyway.

"What? You thought I didn't know about it." Chi-Chi chuckled lightly at the look on her face. "Raditz is Goku's brother. After Goku drug him off your couch, he had Raditz take him home. You must not have gotten a chance to meet him."

"Hmm.. No, guess I didn't." Bulma didn't commit to furthering the conversation, scared her reputation might precede her.

"And Yamcha?" 

"Well I met him the same day I met Goku. They only met when Yamcha was hired a few years back. I've only talked to him at social events and whatnot since I'm at the elementary school, but I have heard _some_  things." Chi-Chi pretended to look for the storefront, waiting to see if she baited Bulma.

"What things?"

"Well, normally I don't gossip," Bulma rolled her eyes. "and I can't attest to this, but I've heard that Yamcha is a bit of a.." Chi-Chi made a few hand gestures to reel in the word she was looking for.

"A bit of a playboy I guess."

Bulma snorted, "Oh really? And what attractive guy isn't?"

"You think he's attractive?" A pathetic attempt at an innocent grin appeared on Chi-Chi's face. 

"Ugh..Is it that big of a deal if I say yes?" Bulma laughed while walking into the next store. "Besides, it's not like I'm looking to date anyone right now, just admiring the view. Plus, I'm stuck chaperoning with both of them next Friday so it might be nice to have some conversations pieces."

Chi-Chi grabbed a few dresses and a pair of shoes off the shelf.

"Ha! Don't expect to have any conversations with Vegeta, it would just make him uncomfortable. "Actually" Chi-Chi tapped her chin, "He was _born_ to be uncomfortable, so do what you want." They laughed at themselves as a pretty store clerk walked up to them.

"Can I help you ladies find anything? We have a buy one get one special on Halloween pieces right now."

Bulma inspected a gimp candy cane costume before speaking  up. "Umm do you have anything that won't reveal when my last pap smear was?" The appalled look on the clerk's face sent them into another fit before they walked out, holding their sides.

Chi-Chi wiped a tear away from her eye. "Do you even want to dress up for this? I mean it's sort of for teenagers. I'm only going because Goku thinks I like these sort of things and I don't have the heart to tell him I don't. I'm just going to wear a dress with some cat ears or something."

Bulma thought about it decided maybe a bodycon dress with some bunny ears would suffice..

"Yeah, you're right. Besides it will be easier to yell at the student's for inappropriate choices when I'm not setting the standard so low" she giggled. "You and Goku still coming early right?" Bulma batted her eyelashes and gave her an award winning grin.  "Apparently I could use the company."

She smiled at her new friend. "I'll let you know closer to time. Sometimes Fridays are our 'alone time'."

Bulma gave her a sweet smile and put an arm around her shoulder, guiding her to the parking lot. "Come on Chi, I'll take you back to your car."

0-0-0-0-0

"Raditz, get in here." A loud voice barked from behind a wooden door with a frosted window.

He knocked once before opening the door and leaning against the frame, coffee mug still in hand.

"Whats up, boss?",

"Are you a rabbit? How about speaking to me properly?" the surly giant groused.

Raditz chuckled before correcting himself. "Sorry, sir. What can I do for you?"

Nappa flipped the paper he had in his hand back on top of the others and tapped them against the desk into a neat pile. "We're meeting tonight. Downtown. I'll text you the address later. And bring that guy with the hair that just raises further questions." With that, Nappa stood up and walked past the door, bumping Raditz with his shoulder. "Don't be late."

"Umm.. Okay?" Raditz took a long sip of his coffee before a thought hit him. _Holy shit, am I getting laid tonight_?

0-0-0-0-0-

The weekend really couldn't have come fast enough.

Vegeta sat at his desk counting down the minutes until he could crush some poor student's hopes of doing well on a test because he ran out of time. He smirked to himself but quickly dismissed the thought, realizing that no one is that big of a jerk... Or shouldn't be at least...

He picked up his purple, wrinkled stress reliever and started squishing it in one hand, thinking about how surprisingly uneventful the last week had been. Even the sex ed class hotty hot hot nurse taught was...educational at best. Bleh.

The only entertaining thing was the stories he made up in his head about the scratch on his neck. It might have been annoying how many people asked about it, but not as annoying as the fact that that was the only thing on his neck. Even though it had been almost a whole week, he still couldn't piece together what actually did happen that night. It was almost disturbing how sure he was he could feel her lips against his skin and how close he was to-

"putting it in.."

Vegeta almost fell out of chair his when his thoughts were interrupted. "WHAT?!"

The boy's face paled a bit as he hesitated to answer. "I..I'm putting my test in the tray. You said to put them in the tray on your desk, right? I..I was just letting you know I'm putting it in now.."

"Just hand it to me." Vegeta snatched the paper out of the boy's hand and waved him off.

He exhaled sharply and threw the now squished California Raisin in his top drawer. He looked at the stack of papers and grabbed them before heading towards the hallway. It was the first full weekend he had off in a long time and he was looking forward to it...

..Until something he should've seen coming a mile away made its way into the classroom.

"Hey Vegeta, long time no see!" 

"I just saw you yesterday Kakarot. And the day before that. And the day before that", he snorted.

"Oh I know, I was kidding. It's a joke cause...nevermind. Anyways, Chi-Chi got out early and went over to the mall with Bulma but she left her car here so I'm waiting for her to get back. Wanna come up to the gym and practice some moves or something?"

He initially turned his nose up at the offer but decided maybe he could skip his morning workout tomorrow if he managed to get two in today. After getting the message from Raditz he was going out, what he assumed was drinking, there was no way he would feel like getting up at six a.m. to exercise, not on a Saturday.

"Fine Kakarot. I'll go but I'm working out on my own. I don't feel like having another man touch any part of me right now.."

_Holy shit that sounded gay_

"Ok."

_Whew_

After burning out his legs with weighted squat jumps, Vegeta got down into a plank and started a round of pushups. Goku had already warped two belts on the treadmill and was trying to install a third. Vegeta laughed at the scene, comparing it to a crab building a Lincoln Log house until Goku reminded him about the three resistance loops he broke.

"Where's the popcorn when you need it?"

Vegeta's attention turned to the two women standing at the entrance and he quickly dropped to his knees. Why give them a free show?

"Hey Chi! Did you have fun? Did you eat yet? I'm starving." Goku jumped off the treadmill and rubbed his stomach.

"No honey, we didn't eat." Chi-Chi let out a chuckle. "You want to get something I'm guessing?" She walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You betcha! Hey are you guys hungry. We can all go get some pizza or something if you want." Goku turned his attention to the Bulma first. "We're done here. We just need to shower off real quick."

"Well, I could always go for pizza, so I'm in. Thanks guys." She smiled at them and started digging through her purse for her sunglasses.

 "Come on Vegeta. I know you're hungry, I heard your stomach over there. Go shower off and we can--"

"No."

"It'll be fun. We can go to Chuck E-"

"I've seen you eat Kakarot. It's not fun... and were you seriously getting ready to say Chuck E. Cheese?" 

Goku gleamed at the thought, until a figure shuffled through the door.

"Speaking of unpaid child support.." Vegeta grumbled as he got up and grabbed a bottle of water. Bulma let out a small chuckle but quickly reined it in to not appear rude. 

"Hey guys! I thought I heard a conversation going on without me. What are y'all doing here?"

"Hi ya Yamcha! The girls went to the mall after school and I was just waiting on them, so 'Geta and I decided to get some plyo's in. What are you doing here still?"

Yamcha held up a piece of wood that resembled a round, stemmed object. "I'm making a few props for the halloween dance. Just some wooden decorations and stuff, ya know, for the  _decor_." The way he enunciated decor made it overly obvious he was only doing this out of vocation and not recreation. "This here's supposed to be a pumpkin..." 

"I didn't know pumpkins were anatomically correct", Vegeta snorted.

"Just ignore Vegeta, he's hangry." Chi-Chi stuck her tongue out at him and Vegeta snapped at her with his teeth.

"Knock it off you guys. Are you hungry?" Bulma asked.

"Sure?"

"Great!" Goku interrupted.  "We're all going to get some pizza if you want to come. Well not Vegeta, but the rest of us anyway. You should come, if you're done I mean."

"I'm in. I might get my own if that's ok. I like extra sausage." Yamcha said a bit overzealously. 

"I thought you might.." Vegeta said from across the room.

...

 

"All right! Well Chi and I will drop one of our cars off at home and then we'll meet you guys there ok?" Goku and Chi-Chi gave them the name of the place before giving a quick wave and heading out the door, leaving Yamcha and Bulma to work out riding arrangements.

"So do you want to ride with me or should I pick you up or something?" Vegeta's ears perked as he wondered what her answer would be...not that it mattered.

"Um, why don't we just drive separately? That way there's no obligation to stay if we don't want to?"

HA! Vegeta inwardly smirked.

"Oh, ok then. Do you know where it is?" Yamcha asked, not really appearing fazed either way. 

"I got the address so I'll just put it in my phone. See you there?" She smiled at him as he agreed and headed out the door himself.

She sauntered back over to Vegeta and gave him a once over.

"What?" he spat as he wiped his face off with a towel.

"Last chance to change your mind." 

"I'll pass. I've got plans tonight." He grabbed his hydroflask and took a long drink of water, letting a little run down his face, cool as the waters of lake Minnetonka...

She pulled out her compact and applied some lip gloss. "You got a hot date or something?" She closed the mirror shut and threw it in her purse.

"No. I'm painting life sized monsters in children's closets" he deadpanned as he threw the towel in a nearby laundry hamper.

He rolled his eyes at the big grin she had on her face.

"Oh I get it, you're the funny one." She laughed a little more at his expense before concluding their conversation. "That's fine with me, as long as I get to be the cute one." With a quick wink she headed towards the door.

0-0-0-0-0

"This was really good guys, like,  _really_  good." Bulma said as she finished her third piece of pizza. "How'd you guys find this little gem?"

Chi-Chi viciously scrubbed some sauce off of Goku's face. "Well if it has to do with food, leave it to my Goku. I don't think there's a restaurant in this town he hasn't been to. And before you ask, yes, we have been to Chuck E. Cheese", she said slightly embarrassed.

"Hey, I'm a sucker for those ball pits as well, so no judgement here", Bulma laughed as she flagged down the waiter. "Did you guys ever venture to the arcade section? They have this fun game called Harpoon Lagoon. Me and my ex used to go there just to play it. We even got the squid one time and -"

"Did you need a refill ma'am?" The waiter grabbed her cup off the table before she could answer.

"Well, yes I did thanks, but that wasn't why I called you over." She got up from the table, blatantly unimpressed with his skills that she deemed more closely matched to an undocumented busboy. She grabbed her purse, and gestured for the waiter to follow her. A few minutes passed before she sat back down.

"Everything ok?" Yamcha asked as he pulled out his wallet. 

"Oh everything's fine, but put your wallet away, I've already taken care of it."

"Aww, gosh Bulma you didn't have to do that. I feel bad for eating so many pizzas by myself." Goku said with a grin.

"Well as much as we appreciate it, Goku's right Bulma, you didn't have to do that."

"No Chi, it was my pleasure, honestly. I'm just glad I'm actually making friends. If it makes you feel better, next times on you." She smiled.

"Well I know what would make me feel better." Yamcha chimed in, tilting his chair back on two legs.

"If people stopped calling you Joey Ramone?" Goku asked innocently through a mouth full of cinnamon knots.

Bulma and Chi-Chi both started laughing as a tinge of pink spread across his cheeks. "Well at least Joey has the most street cred of all the Ramones." Bulma managed out.

His chair dropped back down onto all fours, as he watched the pile of napkins slowly deplete.

Bulma took the last one and wiped the tears from her yes."But seriously, I admire a guy who can take care of himself. There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your appearance." 

"To be fair guys, there's only one guy who calls me that and  _he's_  one to talk about hair. " Yamcha rolled his eyes. "At least someone here can appreciate proper grooming. Thank you, Bulma." He gave her a nod.

"Hey nurses don't just aid in physical wounds. I got your back."  She hit her chest with her fist twice and then made a peace sign with her fingers. 

"Umm.. Not sure, but I think that means mad respect." Goku said before another round of laughing ensued.

"Oh my goodness you guys, I really have no idea!" Bulma wiped away a tear. "It was something I saw on TV. Guess I thought it was appropriate. Anyway, looks like everyone's done so you guys want to head out?."

"Yeah, it's getting a little late for us, even on a Friday." Chi-Chi yawned and stretched her arms up towards the ceiling. "This was a lot of fun though, we'll do it again sometime?"

"Definitely! Thanks again for the invite. I'll see you guys Monday." 

Yamcha got up first and quickly appeared behind Bulma, pulling her chair out for her.

Chi-Chi gave Bulma a discreet thumbs up before grabbing Goku's arm and pulling him out the door, still waving goodbye with the other hand.

Bulma shook her head at Chi-Chi and chuckled lightly at Yamcha's gesture. It was nice, but a little too 'Southern Living' for her. 

"Thanks, but that wasn't necessary."

Yamcha shrugged his shoulders as he pushed her chair back in. "Well neither was buying dinner, so consider it even." 

"Even then" she conceded with a small smile as she sifted through her purse for her keys. She noticed Yamcha still standing beside her, almost avoiding eye contact.

"Was there something else?" 

"Actually, yeah." He cleared his throat. "Not sure if it's too late already, but I'm free the rest of the night. It might be nice to do some more getting to know each other, you know, as friends?"

"Oh? Getting to know each other?" She raised her eyebrow at the suggestion.

"Yeah." He laughed. "I just don't feel like we really got a chance to talk the other night and-"

"Well we were at a movie" she chortled, cutting him off.

"Oh so you've got jokes?" He crossed his arms and gave a smirk that looked like a cheap knock off of someone else's.

"That I do, but apparently, I'm not the funny one.." 

"What?"

She returned the smirk. "Nevermind. So _as friends_  you say?" 

0-0-0-0-0-0-

"And why are you coming to me with this? Why not send one of your glorified mall cops to bring him in if you know who he is?" Vegeta dropped one arm on the table and started strumming his fingers.

"I'm not one for small talk so I'm just going to cut the bull shit right here and get to the point. I can't get involved in this case. By proxy, none of my men can get involved in this case. Alright? I don't want this guy brought in, I want him taken care of by whatever means possible."

Raditz shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Sir, are you sure I should be here? I mean this all sounds pretty..well..  _illegal_. And what do you mean by 'whatever means possible'? You want this guy  _dead_?"

"You're only here because I needed you to bring him. As far as I'm concerned, you didn't hear anything. Capiche?" 

Raditz gave him a curt nod in agreement but the small knots forming in his stomach had him questioning if he should just get up and leave.

"You want someone killed and you're coming to me?" Vegeta let a mix between a snort and a laugh. "Thanks for the beer, I'm going home."

Nappa pulled out a pen and sat it on the table. "Before you go, why don't you tell me again what happened that night?"

Vegeta gripped the table as a scowl formed across his face. "Why?" he seethed.

"Just want to make sure there's no inconsistencies in your story. I mean who's to say it was really self-defense? No no else was there right? Maybe there was some sort of agenda we didn't know about." Nappa picked up the pen and began tapping it against the wood. "Maybe some sort of pre-meditated-"

"So what, you're blackmailing me into killing someone? Not very  _ethical_  of you now is it?" The vein on Vegeta's forehead was threatening to bust.

"No." Nappa stopped tapping the pen and laid it down "But lucky for you I have ethics."

"..As well as other means of persuasion." He pulled out a small slip of paper and wrote something on it before passing it to Vegeta.

Vegeta's eyes never left Nappa's as the paper was slid between them and crushed under Vegeta's hand. "There's really no need for me to read this. I'll just tell you I was going to check the box that says 'No, I don't like you."

Nappa's smug face never faltered. "It's not enough for you to retire early, but I think you'll find it may help get you there."

Vegeta flipped the paper over, leaving it out in the open on the table for all three of them to see. It wasn't chump change by any means. In fact, it was by a wide margin the largest number he'd ever been offered.

Raditz choked down his drink and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "This guy isn't on the bonds registry. There's no bounty out for him? Where's this much money coming from?"

"Didn't I already make it clear this doesn't this involve you?"

"Why me then?" Vegeta clasped his fingers together and leaned his elbows on the table.

"Because you have a nice smile", Nappa said sarcastically

"Tch."

"Look, I know your type. I've seen what you're capable of. You think just because this was the first time I saw you at the precinct that I haven't kept some tabs on you? Every bounty that gets sent to bail bonds comes through me first, I approve it. You think it was a coincidence that the last bounty you tagged ended up dead? How fucking stupid would I be If I didn't know there was a pedofile running free under my watch? "

"Wait, you knew he...What?" Raditz was too stunned at the admission to complete his sentence with any coherent thought.

"I killed someone because you wanted to test me?" Vegeta seethed in a low, demanding voice.

"Don't get the wrong idea kid, you're nothing special." Nappa pulled out a cigarette and drew it between his lips. "I just think you're capable and like I said, it's a good opportunity." 

The giant pulled out his wallet and threw a couple of buck on the table before shuffling to the end of the bench seat. "I'll be expecting an answer Monday." And with that, he was gone.

There was a palpable tension in the air as the two men were left to each other. "Look, Vegeta, I swear I had no idea about th-" He raised a hand up to Raditz's face to shut him up. 

He looked away, avoiding eye contact briefly. "I know you didn't." He blew out a long breath before acknowledging the slip of paper again and shoving it in his pocket. 

Raditz tugged at the label on his bottle. "So what are you going to do?"

"Send you to the bar to get some more drinks.."

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

"Seriously Bulma!? You want a Rhinoceros to lick your toes?"

Bulma spun her bar chair around in a laughing fit, surprised by how much she liked 'twenty questions'; surprised by how good of a time she was having.

"Hey, you said no judgement!" 

"All right, all right." Yamcha smiled at her while kicking back a second beer. "Now it's your turn."

She took another sip of her drink while thinking of a question.

"So spill. What would make you feel better?" Bulma swirled her stirrer around in her drink before using it as a straw.

"Huh?"

"Earlier at dinner. You were about to say something would make you feel better. Remember?Before the whole Joey Ramone tangent?"

"OH! Right. Well I don't think that counts, but I was going to say, it would make me feel better if I wasn't the only one who has never been to Chuck E. Cheese."

"You've never been to Chuck E. Cheese?!"

A tall man with also scientifically unproven hair standing at the bar jerked around, spilling a little bit of his drink. "Who hasn't been to Chuck E. Chee-.. Joey?"

"Raditz? What are you doing here?"

"Uh..business meeting type thing. What are you doing here? And how's it hanging by the way? Long time no see." He held out his hand and gave Yamcha's a firm shake. 

"I can't complain. Thanks for asking. Actually, funny enough, we just came from dinner with your brother and Chi-Chi. It was a little too early to call it a night so we came out for a drink."

"We? You on a date?" 

Bulma peeked her head around Yamaha's shoulder. "It's not a date. Just getting to know each other. And it's nice to officially meet you." Bulma held out her hand, preparing for the awkwardness of having to explain to Yamcha how she  _unofficially_  knew him.

"You two have met before?" Yamcha looked between the two of them.

"Have we?" Raditz gave Bulma a genuinely confused face, letting her take the lead.

"Oh..No, No I guess we haven't. I'm Bulma. I'm the new nurse at the high school. I've heard a few things about you from Chi."

"Oh really? Well don't spread too much around. I can't keep 'em all satisfied as is." He winked to a  shooter girl walking by. Bulma giggled at the comment while Yamcha snorted into his drink.

"They make such a great couple! I'm surprised he hasn't popped the question yet. I'm assuming _you're_ not seeing anyone steadily?", she said cheekily.

He debated making a comment on how he could make an exception for her but declined since he did have a pretty good idea of who she was.

"Not sure this appropriate conversation for someone I just met but since it's out there" Raditz shrugged his shoulders "why have one when I can have 'em all?"

"Cheers to that!" Bulma held up her glass as Raditz tapped his against it. The two laughed as Yamcha ordered another beer, not feeling like part of the conversation anymore.

"So I take it you're not seeing anyone either?"

"Well, I see a guy over there, two right here, and one at that table over there."

Raditz wiped off the water ring under his beer. "Maybe stick to being the cute one.."

They exchanged one more laugh before Yamcha cleared his throat, giving Raditz the cue to get exit, stage left.

"Well it was nice to meet you Bulma, but I don't want to keep Vegeta waiting."

"Oh, I didn't know you knew Vegeta. He's here too?" Bulma mentally praised herself for the convenient little lie she thought of on the spot.

"Yeah, we go way back. We're right over there, so feel free to stop by before you guys leave." He gave them a quick nod and ensured they'd make plans to get together sometime before heading back to the table.

"He seems like a nice guy. Now where were we? Was it your turn?" 

Yamcha was relieved that she was so quick to dismiss Raditz's invite and got back to what they were doing.

"Yeah, it is my turn. So, this'll be my final question..."

"...Since we're both chaperoning the Halloween dance Friday, do you want to go with me? As a date I mean?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HA! Did anyone get the Chappelle Show reference? So funny, right? I'll make sure to give a big shout out to the first person that does! I'm over hear trying to explain to my husband why I'm laughing out loud since he had no idea what I write in my spare time.
> 
> Oh man you guys. I was so tired when I posted this, so me editing is probably horrific. Please inform me of any gross grammatical errors. Peas and carrots.


	6. Update

Just a quick update you guys. I've posted this on other works as well but for right now, TWEW is on a small hiatus. I'm not by any means discontinuing, I've just got to restructure/rethink how the story is going to go. I wrote out the next chapter already but wasn't sure if that was the direction I wanted to take it, so it's in revision. And also (sweats nervously) I've decided to try to focus more on my new multi chapter fic that I've been wanting to do waaaay before I ever even conceived the idea for this one. I'm hoping it's going to be more in line with the kind of angle I was going for with this one, until I got side tracked with humor (oh comedy and your wily ways). But if anyone just needs a Pandanare fix (can count it on one hand lololol) go check out my newest one shot and check out my new multi chapter as well. Thanks for all the support guys! Special shout out to happyoverwatchfangirl83, and DBZBV1991! What's up guys?

Oh and I forgot to mention, I’ll just skip straight to chapter 7 after this in lieu of replacing 6 with the next chapter. That way you guys will get an alert instead of trying to check and see when it’s been posted


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I could totally make excuses as to why this chapter took so long to get out and why SYOTOS hasn't been updated yet.. Or... and hear me out.... I could just jump right into and give you guys a one-off bonus chapter in a few days. Eh? Eh? What do you think? Sounds like a good deal, right? But in all seriousness, I so appreciate all of y'all's patience. Enjoy guys and thanks for reading.

Vegeta sat uncomfortably in the booth, tapping a square of cardboard against the table wondering what the hell was taking Raditz so long. He scanned the bar for a clock but realized how stupid that was before reaching into his pocket. Along with his phone, a small, folded piece of paper tumbled out. He gripped it between his thumb and forefingers and began rubbing it together, undoubtedly smearing the ink across itself, creating a canvas of interpretative art. The number had already committed itself to his memory, absolving the bleached mashup of wood pulp of any responsibility for maintaining it.

He crumbled it back up and threw it on the table alongside a balled up napkin. He stared at it blankly for a few seconds before his mind started to facilitate a rather nasty thought. Was the paper some sort of 'contractual agreement' that would be null and void if he didn't keep it. Was there some secret code word or gesture he could cash in instead of something tangible to remind him of the truly appalling transaction he was capable of? And why was he even thinking about any of this? It was almost laughable how tangled up his insides were starting get over the whole situation.

Two fingers on each side of his head tried to temper a headache he could feel coming on, most certainly _not_ from the alcohol. When did life get so involved? A few weeks ago he was in the dairy section vacillating  between 1% and 2% and now he was almost forced to contemplate whether the accident in the warehouse was even an accident at all. The fact that he hadn't actually thrown the paper away, just balled it up, had given credence to the latter.

His train of thought became derailed when a scant breeze buffeted his hair when the door close to him was opened. A group of younger looking patrons, whom may or may not have been making their last stop of the evening, filtered in. The tail end of which caught his eye. He leaned discreetly off the side of the booth and fixed his eyes on azure locks and a firm backside walking away from him. The rest of the group had gone off somewhere outside of his peripherals but he watched her profile carefully as she tried to flag someone down at the bar. He knew from the side of her face he'd seen her before but the memory refused to surface, just meandered around the forefront of his brain. He inadvertently sank deeper into the seat cushion and his forehead was almost level with the table. He cocked his head slightly to get a better view but a hidden figure appeared beside her, causing his eyes to lose focus and replace their glare with a conditioned stare. A stare that was quickly interrupted by a fly in bad need of examining. 

 _God damn it Nappa... I mean Raditz... God.. Damn it.. Raditz...?_ Vegeta shook the confused thought from his head, literally, before sitting back up.

"Please tell me you just came from the bathroom. Or is that how you're advertising yourself these days?" 

"Hm?" Raditz followed Vegeta's line of sight and a let out a small chuckle at himself before examining his zipper. "Jest if you must, but you didn't see the hot little piece I was just talking to at the bar."  

"Oh?" Vegeta said disinterestedly. 

"Yeah." Raditz puffed out his chest and sucked the foam off of his beer. "She wanted me. But you know, I told her there was already a long list of hearts waiting to be broken ."

"Lovely. She didn't happen to have blue hair did she?" he asked casually as he peered back around to the bar.

"Oh so you already know she's here then?"

"Obviously." 

He didn't let on that he still didn't remember who she was, but it had to of been someone they both knew. It wasn't like there were many blue-haired women running around anyway. 

The two drank their beer without exchange, adjusting their eyes periodically to take in all the people watching they were blessed with. A slightly uncomfortable silence fell between them when Raditz picked up paper off the table and began to unfold it. Halfway through, he dropped it and locked eyes with Vegeta who had just removed his own from the paper.

"Look, Vegeta-"

"Don't" he growled.

"No, listen."

Vegeta let out an exaggerated sigh knowing he would have to entertain him sooner or later. "At least let me do it with lowered inhibitions." He grabbed his beer and downed most of what was left with vehemence before Raditz continued.

"Well I've had some time to think about it and-"

Vegeta all but spit out the frothy liquid. "Time to think about it!?  You were gone five minutes. What did I tell you about going full retard?"

"Yeah and Rome wasn't built in a day." Raditz objected.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"  
....  
..

 

"Just.. Just tell me damn you."

"Yeah. So like I was saying, I've thought about it and I'm pretty sure this is just some elaborate joke or something. Nappa has been known to use unconventional tactics when it comes civilian security. Maybe he's using a threat to scare you, to stop you from taking anymore hits. Maybe you pissed someone off and he's trying to protect you; or maybe you pissed him off with all the paperwork and red tape you put him through. I mean, you have been taking on a lot lately, this aside. "

"A joke? Protecting me?" Vegeta stared blankly at Raditz "Honestly, it saddens me to think that probably won't be the dumbest thing to come out of your mouth tonight."

"Well think about it-"

"Yes, let's think about it." He said sardonically, as if to get his point across. "What would've happened had I not killed that guy first." The music was now loud enough he didn't need to lower his voice. "Do you think if I got down on my knees and begged he wouldn't of killed me first? Pretty fucking elaborate joke don't you think?"

Raditz sank a little in the bench seat, not really sure what to say. The beer was starting to catch up with him and forming coherent thoughts was starting to seem less lucrative than getting trashed on the weekend.

"And what do you mean 'red tape'?" he demanded. "Isn't that what my tax dollars pay him to do? Besides, _Raditz_ ", Vegeta glared coolly "What if that was enough to buy me? Say I take him up on it. Would he try to prosecute me for attempted murder when it turns out this is all some joke?"

"What? No I'm not saying that." Raditz ran his fingers through his mane before pursed lips settled on his face. "I just think he's using this to get inside your head. Clearly it's working." He mumbled the last part, unaware Vegeta caught it anyway. 

"Why? What am I to him?" 

"What? Nothing." He let out an exasperated sigh, desperately wanting to forget about anything work related. It was his weekend too after all. "Okay look, this may come as a shock to you but we're not always as calculated or organized as people think at the precinct. This is a really nice town but things slip under the radar sometimes. He was probably just pissed that some pervert was running around and you popped him before he got to. I admit it's weird that that guy didn't come up as a registered sex offender but again.. _we mess up._ And it's not like you'd really consider killing someone anyway, so what's it matter? It's just his way of keeping the upper hand."

Vegeta snorted at the stupidity of it all.

Raditz leaned back a little more causally, looking around for a waitress. "I've worked with him since I started at the precinct. He's really good at getting into people's heads. And trust me..", he nodded toward the crumpled paper, "we don't make  _that_  kind of money either so I think it's just a bluff. He's not expecting an answer Monday or whatever bull shit he was saying, he was just being a dick." He pushed the nearly empty bottle of beer away and rested his elbows on the table.

"Don't tell me your done already?" Vegeta motioned to the bottle in front of him.

"Nah but I'm not really feeling liquid bread anymore." Vegeta gave him a look that said he was on his own with that one; he'd had enough liquor for a while. "I think I'll wait for one of these future ex-wives of mine to come and serve me for a change." 

"Whatever. Just don't expect me to join you."

"What's wrong? Don't want a repeat of the other night? It might do you some good to get some pus-

"Can I get you boys anything?" An attractive waitress wearing a miniature top hat and incredulously short skirt that was defying logic came over seeminlgy out of nowhere.

"Gin and tonic." Raditz said, flashing an award winning grin.

"Coming right up." She flipped her round tray vertically and tucked it under her arm, walking away hurriedly. 

0-0-0-0-0

"You don't even want to say hi?" Bulma dug around in her purse and pulled out a few crinkled dollar bills. The lights had started to dim and music was starting to increase in volume, signaling their time to go.

"Why would I? He's a total jerk. And put those away, I told you I go this." Yamcha gave the bartender a quick nod.

"Thank you, if I had known you were paying I would've ordered more." She gave him a flirty wink and watched him carefully as he filled out the gratuity line on the receipt.

"And besides, he probably just puts up a front, I'm sure outside of work he's-"

"NO. He's not anything decent you're getting ready to say. Don't you remember how he shushed you at the movies. Ugh..Rude. C'mon, I'll walk you to your car."

Too busy trying to bus her out, he missed the slight shift between her brows. 

" _Yamcha,_ he was messing around. Besides it's not just him, that radish guy or whatever seemed pretty nice."

"Yeah I'm sure they're both nice until they're done with you and -"

"Done? Oh so you mean _done_ , as in I'm an easy fuck and would sleep with one guy I've known a week and another I've talked to for a total of three minutes?" Her eyebrows knitted together in a mixture of anger and disgust. "Well in that case, maybe I should've just gotten that promiscuous pipe costume so you guys can all 'lay me'. Is that more appropriate?!"

"Whoa, what?! I didn't say that! I just meant-" Yamcha raised his hands defensively before he was abruptly cut off.

"Hmph...Whatever." Bulma crossed her arms over her chest and attempted to locate the same door she came in. Of course she knew she was blowing things out of proportion, she just didn't think she could handle even the beginnings of feeling like she was being put on a shelf, intentional or not. Really it was her fault for having any expectations.

"Bulma.." Yamcha gently grabbed her arm to try to explain, but a rigid hand slapped it away as if it was searing the skin it touched. She didn't immediately respond to her name, but his tone did humanize her enough to cease her escape. She could feel his eyes on the back of her head but she really wasn't sure what her recourse was.  She may have had a knack for reading people, when she wasn't being charmed by the one-eyed snake, but she was also had a knack for setting her short fuse to autopilot without programming the course. A few long seconds passed before she decided to turn around and acknowledge the tension between them.

"Hey I'm really sorry and I don't know how that sounded coming out, but I promise I didn't mean to imply you were anything other than the funny, engaging person that I had a great time with tonight. I can be an idiot sometimes and the things in my head don't always make it to my mouth the right way. Maybe you just intimidated me a bit and I was I don't know.. jealous or something. I'm sorry, I would never call your virtue into question." 

Bulma was more than stunned by his, if anything, thoughtful, admission. She couldn't sense a hint of insincerity and the almost pleading look on his face had her feeling a little guilty if not slightly embarrassed. And when was the last time a guy stopped her from walking away? She knew the view going was as good as it was coming so most of the men she finally agreed to a date with ended up with a much more than deserved parting gift when she left them in her tracks. Maybe he really _was_ different?

"I'm listening" was all she allowed herself to say though, deciding at the end of the day, she didn't really need anyone.

He studied her face before speaking hesitantly. "I know you're just trying to make friends and I'm not trying to inhibit that in any way, I just want someone to have your back, someone to help you get to know your surroundings better until you're more familiar here." 

"Why?" she said skeptically, her tone starting to inching more towards confusion than irritation. His concerned face was easily his most convincing but she couldn't get past the idea that he had ulterior motives for being so considerate. She knew she was attractive, ambitious and fun to be around and the sexy nurse stereotype? Well that ensured she always had plans on weekends, but even that was losing its novelty rather quickly.

"Look..." He wiped a swath of hair away from his eyes. "I'm sure it's not easy being the new person here and we work at a high school Bulma... A HIGH SCHOOL. If that's taught me anything it's that people can be cruel and it's hard to fit in sometimes......" He grabbed his jacket off the chair rail and shrugged it on. Even if it turned out to be fruitless, he felt oddly content with the impromptu explanation, knowing it all to be true.

"Okay... Well...." She grabbed her jacket off of the other chair and folded it neatly over her arm. "I can assure you there's nothing to be jealous of and maybe I did get a _tad_  worked up.." She gave him a lopsided smile as if saying _I'm sorry._ "You're right though, I don't know a lot of people here. Most guys I run into on the day to day aren't as chivalrous as you. And if they are, its usually too good to be true." 

"So friends then?" That wasn't all he really wanted to say but seeing as how that was how the nigh started, it seemed oddly appropriate to end it that way too.

"Friends then." She conceded.

"I can walk you out, if you're ready I mean." Yamcha intentionally slowed the second part down, letting her take the reins. 

"Well I wasn't planning on leaving just yet but thank you anyway". She gave him a quick smile to instill that the gesture, however unnecessary, was still really sweet. "Actually, let's clear the air on something while it's fresh. Flowers, opening doors, pulling out chairs. It's all very thoughtful, but it's just not my thing, you know? I need more creativity." 

"Well you are a strange one Blue." He returned her smile, "But I like it. Hey, just do me a favor and at least have Raditz walk you out if that's where you're headed okay?"

"Okay..See you Monday then?" He regarded her with a nod and headed for the door, feeling like he was forgetting something.

0-0-0-0-0-0

"So what were you checking out exactly when I walked up anyway? I mean I know my package is like space -out of this world- but I didn't think you were interested in that."

"Well let's not rule anything out." Vegeta grinned darkly into the dregs of his beer, causing Raditz to choke on his spit. The alcohol was finally doing its job, leaving him a bit more relaxed once the prior topic ceased. Raditz finished clearing his throat with a drink when the waitress finally came back over. 

"You know what would really go good with this?" Raditz held the glass out at arm's length and inspected the drink. "Pie. Like, cherry pie."

Vegeta's face crinkled in disgust at the thought of mixing the two. Although, cherry pie did sound pretty good on its own. He maintained his composure externally but had one of those 'Ah Ha' moments when the switch was finally flipped in his brain and realized the girl at the bar was the one from the bagel shop, due of course to Raditz and his crude innuendo about baked goods. 

"So what kind of pie did she recommend?" Vegeta smirked lazily.

"Hmm? Who?" Raditz wiped a water ring off the table with the balled up napkin, glad to finally be done with the previous conversation also.

"Who do you think? The girl from the b-"

"Hey guys! Mind if I take a seat?" 

A loud shriek forced Vegeta to cover one side of his head and turn sideways in his seat. "Why don't you take one of my ears as well? Seeing as how I'm deaf now, I can't imagine I'll be needing it."  he sneered as his eyes followed her to the front of the booth.

"Sorry about that. It's a little loud in here." She turned to Raditz and smiled sweetly. "Thought I'd take you up on that offer if it's still open. Okay if I sit for a minute?" 

 Raditz sat down his glass. "Sure, just let me wipe off my face for you.."  

Bulma forced a laugh, mostly out of politeness but didn't move until he physically scooted over. At least he has a sense of humor she reconciled. 

"So Raditz, you don't look like a monster to me?" She examined him carefully, like a teacher dusting a child off the playground, before turning her attention to Vegeta. 

"Seeing as how you directed it towards me, I suppose you think I know that that means?" Vegeta crossed his arms and leaned heavy into the seat.

"Yeah, earlier, I thought you said you were doing some painting tonight? Something with monsters? Unless you two were doing the whole Titanic thing and painting _each other_." She drew out the last part and a smug look settled across her face.

"You're an idiot."

"Oh? So you have seen Titanic?" Bulma and Raditz laughed at his expense while he mumbled to himself. 

"Kidding, I'm kidding. So what are you guys doing here anyway? Did your double dates skip out or are they just in the bathroom." She looked back and forth between the two of them waiting for an answer.

"Trust me, if mine was in the bathroom, I'd be right there behind her... if you know what I mean.. Eh? Eh?" Raditz nudged Bulma who couldn't help but laugh a little. "Speaking of, be right back." Bulma exited the booth and let him out before sliding back in and taking in the warmth of his spot.

"Is he always like that?"

"Yeah, but only when he's around attractive women." Vegeta looked around for their waitress, totally missing what he'd just said and the look it provoked.

"Attractive huh?" she tilted her head up and tapped her chin facetiously. 

Vegeta's face blanched a little at the recognition of what she was asking but keeping in line with what years of building a stone facade at taught him, he reeled it back in.

"Well, not totally unfuckable I mean."

"Right." she said, unconvinced.

A different waitress, a young, pretty one in a low-cut top adorned with a name tag, walked up to the table "Can I get you anything, honey?" 

"We'll just have three of whatever this was, Bambi." Bulma picked up Raditz's glass and dangled it in front of her. The girl recognized the lime wedge on the rim and made her best assessment. "Care to make them doubles?" She winked.

"Hell yeah, it's Friday, right?!"

"What happened to not staying long?" Vegeta questioned in an irritated tone after the waitress scampered off.

"Why am I bothering you or something?" Bulma said defensively. She wasn't really used to people not liking her and even though she was sure she could see through his craggy exterior, it still bothered her. Especially because he seemed so different the other other night. Maybe that was the problem though, maybe he just seemed that way. Maybe he wasn't different at all. Maybe her senses were failing her. 

He got the notion that she was a little more offended than she let on, but he wanted no acceptance of any apologies he would deign to make, so he reasoned casually. "Not really, but I try not to make a habit of drinking and driving and you probably shouldn't either. He might play stupid some of the... well most of the time, but you do know Raditz is a cop right?"

"Uh, yeah I think that was mentioned somewhere along the way. I don't usually drink and drive either, or drink that often in fact, save for the last two times we've met apparently, so don't worry about me."

"I wasn't."

"Good." 

"I find that worrying usually denotes regret and not often enough the right ones." 

"Interesting, but I disagree. I find a life without regrets, right or wrong, wasn't exploited to its fullest capacity. And has humans we have much capacity for exploitation."

She heard a grunt in response but neither made no effort to continue impressing profoundness on each other. In fact, the last part of her sentence seemed to fade out the longer her eyes gave way to the specimen in front of her.

She noticed he wasn't wearing the usual garb of slacks and a button-up shirt. Even though she didn't know him that well yet, it was hard to picture him so casual. Not that she was complaining. Jeans were very agreeable on him. In fact, most everything was agreeable on him. He even dropped the leather shoes and was wearing a more casual canvas looking pair. Everything about him, even his attire seemed to have an air of superiority though, now that she looked closer. Really he looked like he'd just stepped out of an Express men's catalog. The only thing out of place was an oddly discolored band of lighter colored skin across his wrist. Must've worn a watch.

"What?" He said gruffly, noticing she was staring at him.

"Nothing I just.... Well you just seem so well put together, for a teacher I mean. Most teachers I've met, no offense, just always seem so different outside of school. Like they have some impressively large collection of bugs pinned to a board or host The Mathcapades in their spare time or juggle. The quiver of her lip and the way she focused intently at one spot on the table as she talked made it sound more like she was voicing an internal monologue that was kept leashed for far too long.

Vegeta gave her a look that said she needed to get out more but assumed it wasn't worth vocalizing it, lest she think it was some sort of invitation. "When did you talk to Raditz?"

"What?" she said, refocusing on the conversation with a shake of her head.

"You said he invited you over. When did you see him? Actually, how do you even know him?" Vegeta hated being out of the loop on things that even partially involved him, but so much happened over the last few weeks, he couldn't really remember who was where and when. Not that it really mattered, but it seemed unlikely she would be someone he wouldn't try to lie about scoring with, so he was sure Raditz would've mentioned something. 

"Oh! Right." Bulma paused for a second to try to get things lined up before she realized there wasn't anything she needed to cover for. "He was over at the bar ordering a beer when we saw him."

"We?"

"Yeah, me and -"

"Hey glad I caught you! I was worried you might of left already." Yamcha interjected as he walked up to the booth. Really he was hoping she did leave already but at least he could get what he needed. He took his hand out of his pocket and gave Vegeta a quick wave. Vegeta kept his hand in his pocket, concealing his own gesture.

"Hey Yamcha, we were just talking about you." Bulma looked up and smiled at him, half surprised to see him again so soon.

"Well I hope it was all good stuff." 

"Actually, we weren't talking about you at all, she just said that to be nice." 

"Well she is nice, that's for sure." Yamcha said amicably, ignoring Vegeta's intent. 

"Did you want to sit down?" Bulma made a move to scoot over while Vegeta pretended to gag into his bottle that was empty at this point.

"Uh...No thank you." Yamcha said since he didn't miss the gesture. "I can't stay, I just remembered I forgot to get your number. I thought it might be helpful" he said, as he made full on eye contact with Vegeta, "since we're going to the dance together Friday night."

If he _didn't_ think smarter of him, Vegeta could've sworn Yamcha just issued a challenge. No wait, he didn't think smarter of him.  _You dumb motherfucker_.. he thought almost out loud. 

"How nice of you to institute the buddy system" Vegeta cooed obnoxiously. So it's the three of us then I assume? Should we call before hand and coordinate costumes too. "

"We should!" Bulma exclaimed oddly excitedly, as if she forgot her age and present company. "In that case, you better take my number too Vegeta."

 _HA!_  He smirked darkly at Yamcha as Bulma put her number into his phone.   
To his credit though, Yamcha didn't waiver and graciously accepted her number without so much as a stuck out tongue. "Why don't I pick you up for work that morning and I'll drop you off after it's over? Just let me know, I can be flexible?"

So, the little basterd was more clever than he gave him credit for. Nevertheless, the look on her face had Vegeta putting down his glass with malicious delight, assured she wan't taking the bait. Not that it mattered either way.    
Bulma was a little off put by the suggestion, having just talked to him about overt chivalry, but to be fair, he gently tapped the ball into her court; and she already agreed to a date with him. What was more off-putting though was the low lying cloud of animosity in the air.  She could feel the taut tension between the two and wasn't sure she liked the feeling it gave her.Was there some sort of competition now involving her? Was she some sort of consolation prize? Was it all in her head? She didn't miss the slightly heated glances they gave each other or intentionally avoided giving each other, and the last thing she was going to be was just some trophy to be had. The only thing stopping her from putting to an end to it right then and was her sometimes inflated since of self-worth that had gotten her into similar situations only to be heavily reminded that she wasn't heaven sent. That and the fact that they did have a long standing history, as she understood, of not liking each other, so she pushed it aside and assumed they were always just trying to one up each other.

"I'll let you know, but that should probably work" she finally said smiling, as if it were the gospel truth. To her satisfaction, both parties seemed copacetic. Yamcha's infection grin almost had her smiling and Vegeta's looked like he really didn't give a hell. Not that she expected him to.

Vegeta's eye twitched slightly, but went unnoticed as the other two conversed briefly before Yamcha walked off. He could've mustered up more to say but the alcohol was slowing down his thought process slightly and operates at a higher cost with such little return held little interest to him, at that time anyway.

Until Yamcha turned back and called out to her to text him if she needed a ride home.

"Don't worry Joey, I'll make sure she rides safely." Vegeta winked before Bulma noticed.

"So, what did I miss?" Raditz finished adjusting himself as he walked up to the table. 

Nothing they said simultaneously, looking in opposite directions.

"Aww look, you're finishing each other's sentences." Raditz cheesed.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Three gin and tonics later, Raditz was entertaining them with some new names he'd come up with for his 'special attacks' in case he ever needed to use them on the job. Some of the favorites were 'doom laser' and 'anarchy barrage' but Vegeta was all but in the floor thanks to the table when Raditz suggested 'gum gum pistol.' 

"Alright, what about hellzone grenade?"

"Meh.." Vegeta twirled his hand around a few times, getting his disapproval across with a gesture. His voice box was still dusting off laughter but it seemed to be the only thing that was functioning correctly. 

"Screw you, I'm keeping that one." Raditz knocked over a shot glass that somehow made its way to the table.

"Oh I know! I know!" Bulma staggered proudly to her feet and raised her arm up as if she unsheathed a weapon. "TACO TUESDAY"

"What about big bang attack?" Vegeta said out of nowhere. Everyone at the table seemed to be considering it but were interrupted by someone announcing last call.

"NO WAY JOSE!" Bulma shouted in disbelief before laughing at herself. "Is it really that late?"

Raditz pulled out his phone and squinted  at the time. "Yeah, looks like it. I'm not ready to go home yet though. Fourth meal anyone?"

Bulma's face lit up at the offer while Vegeta just shrugged. Sobering up probably wasn't a bad idea. He remembered, or rather didn't remember, what happened last time he drank too much so once the tab was paid they walked out as coordinately as possible to Radit'z car.

"Exactly what kind of cop are you?" Bulma slurred slightly as she hopped into the back seat. 

"I'm the ghost with the most babe." 

"What?" she asked, not sure if it was him or the liquor.

"Ignore him. It's from his favorite movie." Vegeta said as he attempted to put his seatbelt on.

"He aint lying. And don't worry about it, we're less than a mile away. We probably could've walked but I thought you might want to play with the sirens."

"Yay!" Bulma squealed as she clapped her hands rapidly. 

The food seemed to be doing its job pretty quickly and the conversation began to steer away from the slightly embarrassing things they wouldn't talk about while sober. It mostly steered into nothing as it appeared everyone was very hungry and focused on eating, until Bulma broke the comfortable silence.  
"I'm surprised you even eat this. You don't exactly strike me as someone who would put want to put  _this_  in your body." She held up an soft shell taco with a little bit of oil/beef mixture falling out the bottom.

Vegeta looked at her like she was stupid before wiping his mouth and answering. "Who's never eaten taco bell? I mean have you _had_ a cheesy gordita crunch?"

"Point taken" was all she said before finishing up her food. They stayed in the car for a surprising long amount of time, talking about nothing and everything before finding a trashcan and throwing everything away. Bulma slurped on the last bit of her drink before tossing it as well. "So I think this is where we leave it guys." No one said anything but Raditz started up the car and put his seatbelt on before she spoke again. "Unless y'all are up for one more round of _entertainment_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GUYS... I am so glad this chapter is over with. I felt it was a necessary chapter but it was definitely not one I enjoyed writing, at least not the first part. Therefore, I really ramped up the Abridged references in this one. Did you guys spot them all? The Piccolo ones were by far my favorite. I feel like my stories can be like scavenger hunts, trying to find the shoutouts and homages I pay to other things and whatnot. Anywho... expect that bonus chapter up in a few days time and YES, I mean a few days. I'm almost done with it and now that I've promised it, I have to crank it out. I was going to wait until I finished it to post it along with this one, but I didn't want to keep y'all waiting any longer. And PLEASE let me know of grammatical errors. I was frantically trying to get this one out and didn't edit that well.


	8. Bonus Edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the bonus chapter I promised. This doesn't have anything to do with the story, it's really just fluff; I just so badly wanted to give the readers some kind of fun offering to make up for my lack of updates with everything. Also, this was supposed to be up yesterday but our power went out >< Gave me time to add to it though so I figured why not give a little fan service also!

"HA! No!" With that, he whipped his entire body around and stomped straight for the door. Bulma jumped in front of him and places her hands on his chest to stop him. "Why not!? It's just for fun! It’s not supposed to be serious." 

"That’s what she said" Raditz chimed in while thumbing through a catalog. 

He grabbed her wrists and removed her hands from his person and side stepped her. Not being defeated that easily she grabbed his arm and firmly planted her feet. Her knees buckled under the force of him now dragging her but she stayed latched on.   
“Are you going to let go or is there going to be a confrontation?” Vegeta asked narrowing his eyes at her.

Her face twisted in disgust "Confrontation? What? Are you going to hit a girl.”

"No." he said casually as he flicked the tip of her nose with just enough force to cause her to let go of his arm.”

"Ow! What the hell?” she rubbed her nose before yelling in the direction of his shrinking figure "Fine!” 

She crosses her arms and walked towards Raditz mumbling to herself. “I’ll just ask Yamcha next time, I’m sure he’s not a prude.” It wasn't meant to be a threat and she certainly didn't expect him to hear it with how much she lowered her voice, but before she made it back to the receptionist counter she felt a hand grab her arm and turn her back around.

A disgruntled looking Vegeta, refusing to make eye contact initially, lowered his glowering eyes to her.

"Don't insult me because you can't always have your way."

"Does it cease to be an insult if it's the truth." she quipped back without missing a beat. They exchanged heated glances that forced Raditz and the receptionist he was attempting to woo to stop and look and look up.

"Why do you keep assuming you know me or anything about me?!" Bulma could feel the rising intensity in his voice but she wasn't about to be oppressed under anyone's thumb.

"I'm not assuming! From what I can see it's the truth!

"Based on what?! The five hours we've spent together?"

"Ugh!" Bulma shrieked. "What is it with you and time? Get a watch if it's so important to you! And just because I haven't known you long doesn't mean I don't know your type!"

"My type?! My _type_?! " Vegeta could feel smoke billowing out the top of his head. "You don't know my type or anything about me!"

"Well if you think otherwise prove me wrong!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Vegeta looked at the number on the entry card he was assigned, and stood in front of the door. Judging by the amount of cars in the parking lot, the place was full of patrons, but yet he couldn't hear any commotion coming from any other room. Guaranteed if he did, he would've high tailed it out and walked the few miles back to his car. He groused to himself about how farcical it was that this was apparently now the thing to do after the bar. What happened to hitting up Waffle House?   
He blew out a breath and slid the magnetic strip through the keypad. When the light turned green he shifted the handle down but didn't open the door. Then the light went red. He did the same song and dance four times before dropping his head against the door wondering how he got roped into this.

"Seriously? You're going to pussy out over this?" a squeaky voice called out. Vegeta abruptly turned his head, looking down to his right shoulder. He probably should've been more concerned about the pointy tail and horns jutting out from the miniature version of him's head, but he chocked up his casualness to not yet being completely sober, the manifestation of underlying disgust and his pride.

"I'm not pussying out!" He barked back.

"Then what? Are you gay? Because I'm sure they can accommodate that to-" 

"SHUT UP! Why the hell am I talking to you anyway. You're not real." Vegeta attempted to bat the minuscule devil away but his hand merely went through him.

"Perhaps not, but now that I'm in your head, it doesn't really matter does it." He looked to his right again and saw the tiniest version of his signature smirk.

"Why do you care what I do?" Vegeta huffed, incredulous that he was even entertaining the conversation, but still not opening the door.

"Oh I don't really. Your subconscious is just here to determine what it is you really want to do. We're like a less righteous version of your moral compass. Hence the Angel and Devil trope."

"Where were you a few nights back?" He mumbled under his breath. 

"Well you weren't vacillating so.."

Vegeta shoulders stiffened at his words, not really expecting an answer. 

"Plus I'm not real right? So it doesn't matter." the little devil mouthed wickedly.

"Splendid" Vegeta snorted at the absurdity of it. "So where's your counter part to talk me out of it?"

"Hey how's it going?" Vegeta swiftly jerked his head to the left to something that looked suspicioulsy close to the entity on his right; only with a longer tail and even pointier horns.

"Who are you?"

"Oh I'm the super devil.

"....Should've seen that coming."

"Hey I'm just as surprised as you are." He said in his exaggerated falsetto before levitating in a fit of laughter.

"And this is where I leave you guys." Vegeta pushed open the door and walked into a dimly lit room that he assumed would smell like industrial solvent.  He looked the room over closely before taking a hesitant step forward and closing the door. He jumped a little when it shut loudly behind him.   
He mentally scolded himself for not wearing a tie.. or a jacket.. or anything he could take off to ease some tension. Not that he wanted to take anything off... DEFINITELY not that. A large, plush bed covered up with a crisp comforter and down pillows was positioned in the corner beside a metal stanchion post holding a flat metal tray. There was a pair of large bulky goggles sitting atop it, similar to the ones he saw on display when he walked in. He expected there to be a monitor or TV or something else intrusive, but with the exception of the chair, the stand and the VR set, the room was empty.   
All things considered, the room didn't feel as predatory as he was thinking it would. Neutral colored walls, hopefully soundproof for his sake, and soft lights that could be dimmed to almost off. There wasn't even a suggestive box of tissues passing judgment with each one that was ripped from the box. It was actually pretty...  _basic._  He stiffly walked over to the bed and inspected it closely. Surprisingly, it looked less worn than one you might find at a hotel. That's really all it was right? Just a generic underused (he told himself) bed? He sat only about four inches in from the side and bounced twice, mentally comparing it's shock absorbency to his own.

It was decently comfortable he admitted, but probably not necessary for the five minutes he told himself he would do this for before waiting them out in the lobby. He stood up and grabbed the headset he saw resting on the tray. He took a deep breath in and placed the goggles over his eyes. He searched for an on button or a power switch, anything to get it over with. Anything to prove a point. When the screen flickered, all he could see was black with a few white lines running across it. Even though lights were still on in the room, all he could see what he screen in front of him.

There was no introduction, only a single legal disclaimer with the companies logo scrolling quickly across the screen. With a flash of bright light, he found himself sitting in a hotel room. 

He looked around but his field of vision didn't orient with it. If he looked too far beyond the scope, he could only see black in his peripherals. It unnerved him slightly to be blinded to the full panorama of his surroundings, but it wasn't as if he could see anything in the physical world anyway so he knew he would be relying heavily on his auditory senses. The last thing he needed was an audience. What he could see was a large window that opened up to a heavily illuminated  city against a nighttime backdrop. _A hotel room? How cliche.._ he sneered. It was questionable whether he said it aloud or in his head. He could tell by the shift in perspective that he was now sitting down. He looked towards his legs and stumbled back when he saw jeans other than the ones he was wearing. A pair of legs propped themselves up and extended outward on the bed. In the real world, he found himself in almost the same position, falling backwards on the bed when he was startled.

He held his hand out in front of him and waved it back and forth a few times but no hands went across the screen. His jaw tightened a little at the almost out of body sensation he was having. Virtual reality sure felt real. 

In the background, he could hear a faint laughter getting closer to him and the screen panned over to a doorway opposite the bed. Two women, one wearing nothing except a robe and the other wearing a matching bra and panty set walked through the doorway feigning surprise.

"Oh! I didn't know we had a guest! Look Lola, he's so cute!" The woman wearing the robe nodded in agreeance with her friend? Partner? Fuck buddy?

He swallowed audibly as they got closer to him. The woman only wearing her underwear started rubbing his leg and Vegeta reached in front of him and touched his own leg to make sure he was indeed still alone. He felt like his senses were starting to fail him.

"We were just having a sleep over in the other room but I forgot my pajamas. See?" The woman dropped her robe and gave Vegeta a full frontal. He nodded but mentally slapped himself for forgetting where he was.

"Oops. Guess I forgot my underwear too. Do you ever forget yours?"

"Umm.. sure?" he said aloud, forgetting they couldn't hear him. There was no answer but the shaking of the camera had Vegeta assume the person nodded yes. 

"Let me see." The other woman joined her friend and started unbuttoning his pants. Vegeta tried to crab walk backwards only to run into the wall. The last thing, for real this time, the last thing he needed to see was another man's junk. Understatedly perfect breasts, sure, but not at the cost of the ultimate cock block. He closed his eyes until he heard slurping and suctioning and when he did look, all he could see was a rhythmic bouncing of golden locks. He eased back into the bed and watched as the woman in her panties took them off and started using her hands on his shaft. 

The longer it went on the more he found he wasn't really enjoying it, but he did find it somewhat laughable. Not comical, laughable. In fact, he couldn't help but laugh..out loud. Every time they moved to a different position his body would adjust autonomously and move to accommodate, but he still laughed through it. He was starting to enjoy it, but in a different way, in a mysterious science theater sort of way.

"Aww.. Even sluts like popsicles." 

"Who invited alien?"

He commented with every angle change and new noise that arose. "Oh I get it! Seesaw. Yeah let's see how broken out this guy's face will be tomorrow!"

Vegeta slapped his knee when thick white fluid sprayed all over their faces and got in one more comment. "VR Porn, come for the extended stay, stay for the extended come."

Vegeta gripped his side and rolled around on the bed for a few minutes longer. When he was done, he coughed a few times to clear out any left over jest and reached for the power button. 

When he made it to the front of the building, he could see Bulma talking to the receptionist.

"And if you sign up for a package deal today, you'll get a 10% discount referral discounts also!" she beamed.

Bulma kindly refused her and turned around when she felt eyes on the back of her head.

"How long have you been out here." 

"Ugh.. not long enough. You were right. This _was_ stupid." Bulma leaned up off the counter she was using a resting post.

"Told you so" he said cooly. 

"Let's get out of here. I guess we should wait for Raditz. I'm sure he'll be up here in a minute."

Vegeta let out a stark laugh and gave her a look that told her otherwise. "Woman, he probably thinks it's his birthday or something. Next time you see him he'll look like he ran a marathon. He'll be fine."

He tapped her lightly towards the direction of the front door, ignoring the receptionist asking for feedback. Outside, Bulma led the way to the car and tried to strike up a conversation as she took a seat on the hood. Vegeta stood by and lightly kicked the tire with his foot a few times, half listening to what she was saying.

"Sorry about what I said earlier." Strange how she didn't feel the need to apologize to yamcha but she suddenly felt very compelled to do so to the person standing beside her. "I didn't mean to insult you. I'm sure you not a prude and even if you are.. it's not anything I should reprimand you for." She pulled out two blow pops and gave one to Vegeta.

"Are you five? And what are you talking about?" Vegeta swirled the sucker around in his mouth, clicking it against his teeth. When he spoke, she could see a little bit of the blue had rubbed off on his tongue and lips. It was kind of cute so she couldn't help but smile when she spoke.

"Earlier. When I said you were prude. I didn't mean to insinuat-"

"I don't care about that" his features crinkled up in earnest, wondering if he really was the what kind of person gets bent out of shape over something so trivial. _Probably_   "I don't appreciate being compared to ... _Yamcha._ " He said his name like it was a infectious, but he did say it this time.

"Ooooh." Bulma stretched out the phonetics of the word and nodded a single time in compliance before sighing. "What's the deal with you guys anyway? I mean I hardly think that's an insult. Did he steal your girlfriend or something?" She jibed.

"As if! Like any woman would ever- " Vegeta couldn't bring himself to finish the rest of the sentence when he saw how closely she was tuned in to what he was saying. Her eyes narrowed for a second before she blinked and looked away. 

"Look, I don't know you well enough to get into that and even if I did-

"You already said that" she cut him off, crunching through the last of her blowpop's first outer shell. "Well let me ask you this then, for my sake. Is there something I should know about him?"

"What are you asking exactly?" He tried to look serious but the stick hanging out of his mouth was making it difficult.

"Well" She was almost a little reluctant to answer. "He asked me to go to this dance thing as his date, and I agreed. And I've heard some things about him and I just don't know what to believe and I know I shouldn't be coming to you about this or gossiping but I don't really know a lot of people here and I just don't want to go with some perv who's go-"

"Okay! STOP!" Vegeta put his hand over her mouth, squishing the stick into her the corner of her cheek.

"If I tell you, can we change the subject?" She nodded as he brought his hand away. 

"If you want to know if I think you're putting yourself in physical danger... then I would be inclined to say no. He and I will never be "friends' as you like to say so frequently, but I wouldn't worry about him harming you. Happy?" 

Bulma though about his succinct admission and determined that she trusted his judgment enough. "Happy."

They existed in silence for a few minutes, enjoying a light breeze, before Bulma characteristically broke it. "You think Raditz is almost done."

Vegeta pulled out his phone and started typing away on it. "He's putting his shirt on. He'll be out in a minute."

"Good. That's plenty of time." Bulma threw her legs off the side of the car and tilted her face towards Vegeta.

"Hm? For what?" he said, only half paying attention, still messing with his phone. "Oh just following up, in case I didn't thank you for the sno-caps." 

"Wha-" She grabbed his face and pulled it towards her until their lips met. He pulled back for a split second before pushing back into her roughly once before pulling away again.

"You taste like strawberries." Was all he said before their attention turned to a heavily sweating Raditz walking out the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely hope you guys didn't see this coming! I tried to give y'all something original here and I hope it didn't disappoint. Like I said, I added a little fan service towards the end there but it was just because we all wanted to see it.
> 
> A quick side note, this may need a little cleanup as I was also frantically trying to get this out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today’s chapter is brought to you by the letters H, B, and L for HannaBellLecter. She made this chapter possible so if you like or leave a comment, please acknowledge you’ll be doing it in part for her too! For whatever reason, I kept putting off this chapter, but after talking with her I had this sudden desire to write like I never have. Her unrelenting motivation and sensational personality got this chapter going!  
> Big shout out to Bella_Kuran also! Girl has been dropping Kudos on all my works like crazy and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Drop me a line lovely, I'm curious to hear from you!  
> One last disclaimer: So I wasn’t entirely done with this chapter before posting, so it may go through a revision if I need to add/edit something. I’m feeling pretty good about it though, so I wanted to get it out as a holiday surprise! I’ll of course let y’all know in the foreword of the next chapter if a change took place.

The first warning bell went off as students slammed their lockers and scrambled to get to their destinations before the eight o’ clock tattletale sold them out. 

Bulma didn’t have anywhere she had to be as long as the infirmary was in her line of sight, so she strolled through the front office, exchanging courtesies with the administrative staff. She peeked her head out of the office when she thought she heard a familiar voice. It couldn’t be who she thought though, so she went to investigate. 

“Hey chi!” Bulma waved eagerly at her friend as she made her way from the front of the building. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?” 

“Not today”, she said with a little too much delight in her voice. “The whole third grade class is on a field trip and won’t be back until about an hour before they go home. Three teachers volunteered so I got out of it this time.” 

“That was lucky. Don’t you still have to be at the elementary school though?” Bulma leaned up against the door frame of Goku’s classroom, waiting for her to expound. 

“Well _technically_ , yes, but all I’m really doing is just grading papers and cutting out shapes", she shrugged. “I’ll head over there after a while. I haven’t actually been here in a while and I wanted to see if Goku had the same room as last year. He does.” 

“Cool.” 

“Yeah.”

“Uh huh.” 

The three stood quietly as a tumbleweed blew through the hall until a friendly voice called out to them. “Just the crowd I was looking for! Happy Humpday!” 

Yamcha strode towards them carrying a yellow box of biscuits from a local franchise. 

“Hope you guys are hungry.” He opened the box and offered them various wrapped biscuits. Goku offered to let Chi-Chi and Bulma choose first since he wasn’t picky. Chi-Chi almost turned her nose up knowing hers were better but reluctantly took one anyway to not come across as a bitch. 

“Aren’t you the thoughtful one”, Bulma smiled, "but I actually already ate breakfast.” She didn’t bother correcting him that it was actually Thursday, thinking she might offend him. Everyone else went with it so she followed suit.

“Oh”, Yamcha said, a little disappointed. Bulma picked up on it and quickly offered another suggestion. 

“I’m not hungry, but some coffee sounds amazing right now. Want to go to the teacher’s lounge?” 

“Yeah sounds great! I’ve been meaning to try out the new Keurig. Have you tried the marshmallow pumpkin flavor?” 

The two walked off towards the front of the building, where the teacher’s lounge was located, waving bye to Goku and Chi-Chi.  
“Don't you think they'd be a cute couple, Goku?” 

“Meh..",he shrugged. 

"Well I've got a knack for these things and I think so. Let's set them up!" She clapped her hands excitedly, giving Goku an uneasy feeling. 

"Aren't they already going to the Halloween dance together?" 

"That's just a dance, Goku! I mean like _really_ get them together." 

“Well...I'm not sure that Yamcha is really her type. She seems to be able to hold her own well enough and I've known him long enough to know he needs daily confirmations, hence all the girl trailing after him. Bulma seems to have a certain confidence that doesn't need to be subdued, it should be nurtured and allowed to flourish unrestricted. I’m not sure Yamcha is the guy for that.” 

Chi-Chi side eyed his moment of clarity suspiciously and waved her hand across his face. "Goku... are you feeling ok?" 

"Of course, but I wouldn't mind a trip to the teacher’s lounge myself. Sometimes they have these yummy pastries in the vending machines." He licked his lips and grinned goofily. 

"Thought so." She resumed brainstorming until a lightbulb went off. Bulma had recently told her they were painting the interior of her apartments this coming weekend. She was going to pack a bag and get a hotel overnight due to not having any family in town. Chi-Chi offered her a room at their place and she graciously accepted, but now she had a feeling something was going to conveniently come up at the last minute. A sly smirk spread over Chi-Chi's face as she praised herself for being so clever. 

“Are you sure _you’re_ feeling okay?” Goku asked somewhat concerned, turning her own question on herself. “You had this weird look on your face just now.” 

"What? Oh, right. Well, I happen to know, in no uncertain terms, that Bulma is very available and very interested in taking the next step in her life. She isn't getting any younger you know?" 

“Chi-Chi..."Goku began, but she was already typing something into her phone, no doubt moving forward with phase I. 

“Wow this is good coffee! First the pizza, now this?”, Bulma blew the puff of steam from her paper cup. “You guys sure know how to live around here. I’m definitely not regretting my decision to move.” 

“Well I’m glad to hear it, so we’re still good for Friday then I’m assuming?” Yamcha’s face lit up at her words and he zealously nodded. He was a little hesitant to try to take it to the next level all so soon, but Bulma just seemed like such a catch. It baffled him how she was still single. 

“So, I never asked, why did you move here anyway? Was it specifically for the job or...?” 

Bulma knew the question would eventually come up so she turned her eyes up into happy little crescents and finished swallowing. “Mostly to get out from underneath my parents, or specifically my dad. I was always sort of living in his shadow, or at least that was the plan, but I never achieved as much as he did, and I felt like I needed to get out and find my own self. Sounds kind of lame, right?” 

“No! Not at all. I think that’s exceedingly brave of you actually. Is it ok if I ask about your relationship with your parents?” 

Yamcha really was a sweet guy she determined. Her intuitive character judgement had been slipping since moving to her current digs, but she didn’t seem to mind what she was finding. “Of course. I actually have a very loving, open relationship with both my parents. I should’ve clarified, but my dad has never made me feel like I’m anything less than capable and significant. Everyone _else_ always seemed to think I would end up more like him and after x amount of years, I just got tired of it. Not of them, just the stigma surrounding my situation.” 

“Whoa. That sounds pretty intense.” He moved for a lock of hair that fell across her cheek and tucked it behind her ear. “I’m glad you told me.” 

They both shared a lingering smile before the door opened and another faculty member walked in. 

“I heard there was a new Keurig machine.” 

Yamcha and Bulma pointed simultaneously to the small, black appliance in the corner. The new psychologist was always so aloof, they didn’t know if they should try to make conversation or finish up their drinks and leave. 

It didn’t look like their presence was bothering her, so Bulma extended a friendly offer. “I don’t think we’ve talked very much. I’m Bulma and this is Ya-” 

“I know who you are.” 

“Oh. Well um... how are you doing today Ms. Gero?” 

“Call me Juu. I haven’t held my first student session yet today so I’m doing well, thank you. Though I’m sure I’ll be doing the same afterwards” she said, sipping her coffee slowly. 

At least they were on a first name basis now. “Well we should be going, but how about we do lunch today? I don’t usually take a formal lunch, but if I’m free, the three of us and Goku can share lunch duty. What do you say?” Bulma and Yamcha both smiled hopefully, making her slightly uncomfortable. 

Bulma thought for sure she was going to say some smartass comment about ‘the losers table’ but to her surprise, she accepted, reluctantly of course. They agreed to meet during B lunch since Goku and Yamcha both shared responsibility at that time. Once she’d left, both blew out an extended breath. 

“Wow Bulma, you’re brave! I thought for sure she was going to hang, draw and quarter us for asking.” 

“Right?! Feel my heart, it’s going crazy.” Bulma quickly backpedaled, worrying he might actually try to feel it. “I mean, it’s normal now, but it was beating a mile a minute right after I asked her.” 

“For real. Hey, I hate to cut this short, but my class is probably wondering where I am. Got to try to trick kids into making some built-ins for my entertainment center. See you at lunch?” 

“Can’t wait!”

0-0-0-0-0  
Vegeta's eyes shifted back and forth objectively between two students pretending to sword fight with unsheathed scalpels. Any other day and he would've promised some vague threat of using said scalpels to remove any chance of them reproducing and effectively ending the passing of a poor-decision making gene. Of course, they wouldn't grasp the concept of his insinuations, but the exasperated look on his face and increasing octaves in his voice typically got the messages across. 

But it wasn't any other day. It was Thursday. And this Thursday, he didn’t feel like it. 

He forcefully grabbed the paper cup on his desk and took a long sip of his drink. When he returned the cup to his desk, he shifted it so the letters PSL faced him instead of the students. His chair groaned against the tiles as he pushed himself back and strolled casually to the two students. Both assailants quickly dropped their weapons and attempted to put their protective covers back on when they saw him coming. He stopped in front of the animal cadavers on the table and glared at their half filled out worksheets. 

"And what muscle is this?" Vegeta's voice lacked its usual gruffness as he scooped up a scalpel and pointed to a muscle on the cat's arm with it. He would split their wigs anyway for playing with knives, but he would be less upset if they could prove they actually learned something while doing it. 

They both looked at the ventrally splayed feline, Vegeta with arms crossed and the student with his palms sweating. "Umm... clavobr-" 

"Stop." Vegeta held his hand up in front of the boy's face, cutting off his answer. He swallowed hard and prepared for a verbal assault. This was the first time he'd taken anatomy but not the first class he'd taken with Mr. Ojie. 

"Let's think about this Ian. If it _was_ the clavobrachialis muscle, which is what you were going to say, right?" Vegeta turned towards him and waited patiently for an answer but the boy only nodded timidly. 

"If it was indeed clavobrachialis then what bone do you think it would be near? And don't answer immediately, take a minute to think about it." 

He looked at the cat, at his teacher, and then back at the cat again. Vegeta's voice was still uncharacteristically muted, but it did have that slight edge of annoyance that was indicative of things to come. 

He saw his teacher's head tilt a little, as if saying _I'm waiting_ before he finally gave an answer. "Clavicle?" 

"Right. And does this look like the clavicle to you?" 

The boy shook his head. 

"So, what do you think it is then?" Vegeta tapped his foot, his patience finally starting to wear thin. 

When he still didn't produce an answer Vegeta lost all ability to constrain himself further. 

"You only have four to choose from! Would you prefer I make you memorize **all** the muscles instead? 

He shook his head quickly. 

“So, quit trying to compensate for your inadequacies and GET TO WORK!” 

It was somehow lost on him that the thin metal blade in his hand was never actually re-sheathed before he entombed it in his grasp and slammed it on the table to get his point across. 

The class went silent, save for a few hushed gasps, as a small stream of red began to trickle out of his gripped fist, making neat little droplets on the tile floor. A few students covered their mouths as he opened his hand and let the scalpel fall. 

Vegeta blinked mechanically a few times before flaring his nostrils in annoyance and grabbing a handful of paper towels from the dispenser on the wall. He pursed his lips at his own stupidity before addressing the class. 

“Do not leave and DO NOT touch anything on my desk. He side-eyed his drink. If anyone does, I have a collection of Legos and an eternal flight of stairs I've been meaning to put to good use. Understood?" 

Most of the students nodded their compliance but one girl raised her hand. 

"WHAT Alex?!" 

“Pardon my language Mr. Ojie, but that was BADASS!" 

The class started a slow clap in succession until every single student was applauding him. Mouth slightly agape, he rolled his eyes at their inane show and turned tail out the door. 

When Vegeta walked in, Bulma was taking selfies from a few different angles. 

“Those Snapchat filters only do much” He half sneered/ half mused over her shoulder. 

She quickly retracted her phone into her lap. “What? It's not Snapchat!?”, she defended angrily, “it's an app that transmits my facial expressions into a recognition software. It’s supposed to calculate them and determine how close the structure of my face is to the golden ration.” 

He gave her a smug look that said _how is that any better_ before she quickly backpedaled and broadened her explanation. “I’m taking a few psychology courses for CE and one of the resources they gave us is this app you can use to see if you have intrinsically attractive features. Your natural affinity to other people can also be explained. Like if a large number of people are attracted to you or even if a certain type of shape or plant or anything found in nature is more aesthetically pleasing...t can be used for all things really, not just people..” 

Vegeta leaned into the wall with a mock-inquisitive look on his face as she stumbled over her words. It was comical watching her flush and get defensive over something she could’ve easily avoided with ‘It’s none of your business.’ He really wanted her to continue embarrassing herself, but he could feel the paper towel soaking through to the outside, contacting his other hand. 

“Is that right? Well since you’re busy, I guess this can wait.” He waved his wounded hand back and forth like a surrendering flag in front of her before spinning on his foot and heading back the way he came. 

Bulma jumped off her chair and rushed over to him, spinning him back around by his shoulders and forcing him into a chair near the sink. 

“Jesus Vegeta! What did you do!? Does it hurt?” 

“This? _NOOO_ , it feels great! I was thinking of getting a matching one on this hand actually.” He mocked. 

She ignored his antics and grabbed a pair of nitrile gloves along and several other accoutrements. “Hold your hand over the sink for me. I need to look examine it closer and judging by the amount of blood it might be deep.” 

She warned him it might hurt as she unfolded the saturated towel and began to poke and prod at it. It was considerably deep; clean, but deep. Once the old rag was tossed into a red waste bag, she grabbed a few large gauze pads and tape from her cart. 

She reiterated the discomfort he was about to endure as she grabbed a bottle of alcohol and tilted the neck of it into a sterile cloth. To her surprise, he didn’t even flinch as she pressed deep and began to clean it up. 

_So, she does always have gloves on her_ , he smirked. His mind wandered to other initial thoughts he had when they first met, and he found himself guessing just how short her dress was under her long coat. Her shoes were more functional that fashionable with their square heel, but they didn’t exactly scream librarian either. 

The intrusive smell of pure alcohol brought him out of his thoughts and offered a vague sense of retrieval. “I don’t have any Sno Caps this time, so you’re working pro bono here.” 

“Well I don’t have any liquor to trade” she countered, matching his dry tone, while hurriedly stanching the bleeding. “So, you’re going to have to make it up to me some other way.” she winked. “I like scary movies, massages and nice ca-” 

“That kind of transparency only appeals to the lowest common denominator.” He interrupted in satisfied conceit. 

She matched his gaze coolly before laughing at herself in earnest. “You got me.” she admitted jovially, happily accepting that this little game they seemed to be playing was kind of fun. 

She went back to wrapping until his hand was immobile and she secured the ends of the bandage with two flimsy metal prongs. Once she was satisfied with her work, she lifted her eyebrows up and smiled. “So, there’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is you don’t have to get used to the feel of your other hand in the shower” she giggled at his scowl, “the bad news is I’ve done all I can do but if it starts to leak through, you’re going to need stitches. Isn’t your free period at the end of the day? I can take you to the doctor.” 

“Are you keeping tabs on me or something?” He tried futilely to flex is hand a few times, sidestepping her offer. 

“Well isn’t somebody self-important? Actually, I usually leave an hour before school lets out and I’ve noticed your car isn’t always here. Just being observant, no need to get a big head.” She peeled off her second pair of gloves and threw them in the regular garbage before squirting some sanitizer on her hands. 

_What kind of adult skips school_ he thought to himself before noticing a deep red starting to spread in an outward pattern on his hand. He was hoping he could just tape it up and he get back to his PSL, but maybe it did need stitches. Of course, it had to be his right hand, didn’t it? 

“See.” she grabbed his hand, also noticing the oozing. “It’s going to need to be suture-” 

“Uhm... Am I interrupting?” 

Vegeta yanked his hand back at the sound of a prepubescent girl’s voice. Why was he even taken by surprise? That _was_ his life, wasn’t it?  
Yamcha appeared in the doorway, arms akimbo, almost defensively. 

Bulma must’ve also taken his stance as somewhat threatening, her face twisted in confusion. “Um... _NO_.” her voice laced with ire. “I’m doing my job, what are you doing here?” 

Yamcha waved his arms in front of his chest quickly and amended his prior statement. “I just didn’t know if everything was okay. Sorry, I wasn’t implying anything.” 

A plume of exaggerated hair appeared around Yamcha’s shoulder. “Yeah, we heard you cut your hand off Vegeta! They said there was blood everywhere and the hand was still moving around on its own! Oh, and hey Bulma!” Goku’s eyes creased into happy crescents as he waved at her. 

“Hey Goku” she sighed, his innocence robbing her of any residual annoyance. “No, he didn’t cut his hand off, but he did cut it pretty bad. He’s going to need stitches.” She frowned at him like she was scolding a child. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to take him after his last class. Can I help you guys with anything else?” This time her voice lacked in irritancy, she was just genuinely curious how they got out of their classes without issue 

Yamcha was the first to speak up. “Well as long as someone’s taking him. And I just wanted to make sure we’re all on for lunch with Ms. Gero today?” He avoided looking at Vegeta, worried he might think it was an invite. It was the only thing he could come up with off the top of his head. Yamcha knew he was being paranoid and insecure and in his eyes, those were huge turn-offs, but he really liked Bulma and didn’t want to risk losing her to- 

He physically shook the thought away and waited for an answer from her. 

“Of course, I’m so hungry I’m counting down the seconds. Hey Vegeta do you want to...” Bulma stopped when she realized he was already heading out the door at the offer. 

“Whatever, I’ll see you at 3:00”, she yelled after him as he paced down the hall. “As for your two, shouldn’t y’all be getting back to class? Looks like the bells about to ring.” 

0-0-0-0-0 

He grumbled to himself as he walked back to his classroom, which was now filling up with a different group of students. A pile of missing papers on his desk placated him somewhat though. At least his students knew not to conveniently forget to do their homework because he wasn’t around. 

When three o’clock rolled around, Vegeta peeked his head out the doorway discreetly and looked both directions. He didn’t hear any tap-tapping of feet, so he carefully pulled his keys out of his pocket and made his way for the stairs. His lab was in a long hallway, joined to two other rooms, but with a shared door. Luckily, there were two exits to freedom. One, an elevator that took him up to first floor parking, and two, one small set of stairs, the ones he took, that lead to ground level parking. After his visit to the infirmary, he made sure to move his car to ground level, just in case she saw it and tried to make good on her word. 

“Losersayswhat!” 

“Wha- ahhhh.. God damnit!!” Vegeta facepalmed as he stepped across the threshold to freedom and a human shaped bush caught him in a verbal tizzy. 

“I figured you would try to sneak, so I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes.” Bulma beamed proudly. 

“You’ve been standing in a bush for fifteen minutes so you could make sure I didn’t skip out on taking care of this?”, he asked incredulously as he picked a leaf out of her hair. “Obviously it needs stitches, I wasn’t _not_ going to go. I really don’t need an escort.” He picked up his pace and marched towards his car as she raked her fingers through her hair.

“I believe that you would go, but I really don’t think it’s wise for you to drive like that”, she explained, huffing after him. “You have no dexterity with your hand bandaged up like it is. And slow down!” 

He stopped at his car and continued to stare forward. “I don’t need you to drive me. I’ve driven with much worse than this.” 

She was a little taken aback by what he said but pushed it aside. “Please stop. I get you’re the ‘I don’t need help’ type, but just let me take you. All I’m going to do is drive you there, have them fit you for a much thinner, flexible, garment, and drive you back here. I won’t take up any more time than that.” 

“Why?” 

“Why?” Bulma asked in confusion. “Because I’m a nurse. You can’t drive yourself and..I don’t know, maybe I didn’t ever really forgot what you said about us not being friends.” 

“What are you talking about?” He turned to face her finally. Not that she was incorrect in thinking that. 

“That night you took me home? Remember? I don’t recall the exact conversation, but I remember you saying, verbatim, we’re not friends. I just thought maybe I could show you what a good friend I can be. That and I am healthcare professional and believe or not, I take my job seriously.” 

What the hell was he supposed to say to that? He probably did tell her that, but at the moment he didn’t remember. And how many times had they hung out since then? Were they friends? Everything was so runny, he couldn’t get a good feel for the timeline anymore. And why was he thinking about all this. He really didn’t give a hell either way if they were friends or not, right? 

“Are you going to bitch until I give in?” 

“Bitching!?” She ground her teeth together, causing him to smile smugly. Getting a rise out of her was way more fun than it should’ve been. 

“If anyone is bitching it’s you! Mr. Wahhhh, someone cares enough to make sure I’m taking care of myself and not getting blood on my upholstery. Boo hoo mother fuck-” 

A group of band students marched by slowly, spreading dirt on the fire. Much to Vegeta’s chagrin, she brought up a good point about not getting blood in his car. All he had to do was go to the urgent care, leave her in the waiting room, and ride back with her. He could just put in his air pods if she tried to strike up a conversation, he figured. He could do this. 

0-0-0-0-0-0 

“Okay, now just feel me... I’m sorry I mean _fill_ me in here”, she giggled flirtatiously, “You wrote ‘ask me about my magic fingers’ in the chief complaint line. Can you elaborate?” She leaned forward over the check-in desk, pushing her breasts together in the process. 

“That says mutilated fingers, Candi, with an _I_ ”, Bulma corrected while rolling her eyes at her obviousness. 

“Oh. My mistake. Have a seat and someone will be out shortly.” She closed the window in Bulma’s face and went back to typing. 

Bulma spun around in the doctor’s chair as Vegeta complained about her following him into the examining room. She ignored his comments but quickly stood up when she heard a shuffling outside in the hall. The door handle clicked and turned downward as a striking, orangish-haired woman walked through the doorway. 

Bulma straightened her posture and set her jaw at the sight in front of her. She was a bastion of women empowerment. A buxom bombshell sentineled by an M.D. embroidered coat. Her obviously augmented, aristocratic features didn’t go unnoticed as Bulma followed the woman’s gaze to her patient. 

“Mr. Ojie, is it?” 

Vegeta nodded curtly. 

“And Mrs.?” she questioned curiously, a hint of disbelief in her voice. 

“Wife? Please, does she _look_ like anyone you’d envy?” Vegeta cackled. 

A little smoke billowed out of Bulma’s ears at his snide remark. He might have taken that one a little too far, but the look on her face was just too good to pass up. 

“I see. Well I’m Dr. Zangya. Pleasure.” She extended her hand, showing off her perfectly manicured nails but was halted when Vegeta held up his eyesore in front of her. 

”Ah, looks like you have a case of the Mondays. Well let’s see what we can do about that.” 

“It’s Thursday” Bulma interjected with a sneer. 

“Well when you’re a doctor, you always feel like it’s a Monday.” 

She began unwinding the bandage, mildy impressed with the job. “Who tied this up for you? They did a pretty decent job.” 

“Behind you.” Bulma called, slightly peeved at her use of ‘decent’ instead of ‘a magnanimous display of medical ingenious’. 

“And what do you do, dear?” she asked too condescendingly for Bulma’s liking. 

“I’m a nurse. I thought the wrap could double as a tourniquet, but it was just too deep to compress.” 

“Nursing is a nice career choice. I thought about it but decided to distinguish myself from such a saturated market, so I chose medical school instead. It really helps with situations like this too. I can see why you wouldn’t be sure if it needed to be sutured or not. Lacerations of the hand are kind of iffy.” 

_“Actually_ ”, Bulma snubbed, “I did tell him he would need stitches. Why else would we be here?” 

“Is that right? Well don’t worry, I’ll have him stitched up in no time. I can rewrap it also and fix the little mistakes you made”, her voice syrupy sweet. She flipped her mane and rotated back around in her chair, prepping a suture. 

Vegeta could almost feel the static coming off Bulma, fists clenched at her sides. He knew she had a bit of a temper but watching her get so defensive over something so trivial was actually kind of – 

“AHHH!!” 

The needle pierced through the tip of the laceration on his hand. A few snickers escaped from the corner where Bulma was standing as the doctor continued to weave in and out of the gaping hole. 

“I wasn’t expecting it. That’s all.” he harrumphed, but it did little to subdue her giggling. 

“He has strong hands, so the skin is going to be naturally tauter. I’m impressed he’s taking it so well.” Doctor Zangya called over her shoulder. “Though I’m sure he’s impressive in other capacities also...” 

The door slammed shut as Bulma exited the room and made her way back to the waiting area. A few more patients had arrived since they’d gone back, so seating was now limited. 

When Vegeta finally made it to the checkout desk he laughed internally at the sight. Bulma was squished between one person biting their toenails and spitting them out and another talking about how beautiful all the creases in her lip were. After paying his copay and ensuring to the checkout staff he wasn't a model, he walked by an entranced Bulma and thumped her on the knee. 

“Let’s go, pity party.” 

She stomped out to the car and attempted to jerk her door off its hinges three times before realizing she never hit the ‘unlock’ button on her keypad. Her keys fumbled around in her hand until she found the remote, all the while grumbling angrily to herself. Once they were buckled in, she slammed the keys into the ignition and pushed so hard Vegeta thought it might go through the dash. 

“Are you deranged?” he asked. 

“No”, she pouted. 

He shifted his whole body in the seat to face her. He’d already bared witness to her driving capabilities when she was copacetic, no way was he going to let her take the wheel in her current state. Of course, that would mean he’d have to try to figure out what was wrong, console her if she told him, and probably take her for ice cream … maybe death was better? 

_Paint me a masochist._

“Was it someone in the waiting room?” he attempted at another guess. 

She shook her head solemnly. 

“Then what is it? And **don’t** make me guess.” He held a finger in front of her face to make sure she understood how serious he was.

“Her.” Bulma said softly 

“Who? The doctor?” 

Bulma continued to stare out the windshield. 

“What are you talking about?” He was almost about to retract his offer and walk home. 

“I’m talking about how she tried to insult my capabilities as a medical professional. I’ve wrapped thousands of wounds, sprains, strains, whatever, and she’s over here on her fucking pedestal about being a doctor while reading your palm and probably writing her number on it. Never in my life have I... What?” She turned her attention to the almost comical look on Vegeta’s face. It was a mixture of confused, angry, and mildy entertained. 

“So, you _are_ deranged?” He smirked cruelly. “Or maybe you have PMS.” 

She attempted to hit him with her purse, but he used his good hand to restrain her wrist. “I. AM. NOT. DERANGED.” She took advantage of his handicap and used her other arm to finish the job until she was satisfied with his disheveled hair and shirt. 

Feeling better at the sight of him, she decided to torture him with an explanation on the ride back. She made sure to lock the doors so he couldn’t escape and tell him all the stuff she didn’t tell Yamcha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m trying to work on the pace here and add a little more character interaction/depth. What did you guys think? The first few chapters were hard for me because I tried to do a lot of ‘base-laying’. Now, I think I’m where I want to be finally and can start incorporating relationships, dialogues, motives.. All that good stuff. This might make each chapter feel a little slower, so apologies if it does, but I hope you like the content. As always, let me know of egregious grammatical errors. Happy readings!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was just going back and reading through all the comments you amazing readers have left me (cause I did, that’s why!) and I honest to dog felt touched. Like seriously you guys. I guess I never really noticed how many of y’all were into it until it was laid out in a format that was easily measurable. And that goes for Kudos leavers too! As I’m typing this, I’m getting more and more overwhelmed with emotions. I know this has taken a while to get back on track –if you can even say that much!- but having support from you guys really keeps it close to my heart and head. Sounds dramatic, I know, but it can be a little overwhelming from time to time when I get into a rut and being able to visually see that you guys are still interested spurs me on. To say you guys even facilitate the story sometimes would not be a lie. I know the time between chapters can be frustrating (it is very much for myself as well) so I ALWAYS appreciate everyone’s patience. These stories, no matter how nonsensical, really do have a special place within me and sometimes getting them how I want takes time. 
> 
> A ginormous shoutout to all my readers this chapter!! Thank you for all the support and for staying with me the last year. And to anyone just reading my work for the first time, I know you have a choice in debaucherous entertainment, I sincerely hope you enjoy your ride on Pandan-are. And please be careful as the contents of your eye sockets may have popped out during suggestive scenes. 
> 
> Just a quick preface about his chapter too! So I wasn't going to split it up initially, but this chapter was so long after I finished (but before I edited) I honestly had enough for three chapters. I decided to keep my word count to the median that I like though to A) get it to you guys sooner, and B) not lose your interest with too many words. Check the end for more notes!

“...And because he’s a doctor, everyone always assumed you would follow in his footsteps?” Vegeta guessed as he discarded the silverware and unfolded the napkin onto his lap. 

“Right. And I actually had every intention of going that road, but once I was actually in college I..” Bulma stopped midsentence, curiosity getting the better of her. “Why are you doing that? You didn’t order food.” 

“I like to be preemptive,” he answered shortly, “proceed.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Are you going to finish what you were saying about college or what?" he snapped. 

_He’s actually listening_ she thought to herself, provoking a small smile. “Yeah so, junior year I realized I liked the medical field and definitely wanted to pursue a career in it, but I think I felt like I needed some identity that I wasn’t getting if I chose the same path as the last three generations before me did. I had the grades, the compliance and my academic record was nearly perfect, I just...I don't know” Her mind wandered off as she twisting her earring. 

“So, you didn’t want to be a doctor then?” 

“Not really,” Bulma answered solemnly. “I guess I feel like maybe my potential was wasted though sometimes. It just wasn-” 

“Then I don’t really understand the reason behind your little tantrum.” 

Bulma flicked a small residual crumb of sorts at Vegeta for reducing her breakdown to a tantrum, earning her a deadly look from across the table. 

Truthfully, she didn’t know why it bothered her. Her parents were always more than supportive, or they held up the façade that they were, and no one had ever disparaged her career choice. She even felt a little higher up on the pedestal than a lot of her peers, though she wouldn't admit it. Her bills were always paid, and she’d been able to put money back every month for a down payment on a house even. 

“Unless it isn’t really about your father at all,” Vegeta taunted, interrupting her thoughts. 

“What do mean?” Bulma raised an eyebrow, somewhat intrigued. 

“Do you like me?” 

“Come again?” Bulma blushed a little at such a bold question coming from him. 

“Do you like me?” His face remained completely unreadable as he repeated himself slowly. 

“I..I...er.. I don-” 

“Because I have a feeling you might take back all that “friend” stuff if you really want to know what I think.” 

_Of course he meant as a friend!_ Bulma lambasted. 

“I think you’re not used to _not_ feeling like the smartest and most attractive person in the room and you didn’t know how to handle it. You've never had to defend yourself in that regard but when faced with the slightest adversity, you gave into pettiness.” Bulma glared as Vegeta quirked one eyebrow, almost daring her to disagree.   
Silence fell over the two of them as the blonde waitress delivered their drinks. She handed Bulma a steaming paper cup and sat a blueberry muffin on a plate in front of her. With the tray still balanced on her hand, she picked up a plastic cup of dark liquid and brought it down to Vegeta, letting it ‘accidentally’ slip out of her grip. Liquid and ice spilled onto his lap as the waitress quickly grabbed a stack of paper towels and started patting his crotch rapaciously. 

“Oh my goodness,” she giggled, “I’m such a clutz. That’s the third stallion today that I’ve had the pleasure.. I mean misfortune of displeasing with such a show!” 

_Stallion?_ Bulma mouthed to herself in a mixture of disgust and confusion. 

Vegeta jumped up quickly and pulled the napkin away from his lap. “I got it.” He waived her off, but she managed to slip her number onto one of the napkins that she wedged into his zipper. He heard her call back that she’d bring him another one, but she was too far gone to decline. 

Bulma stared at him like she’d just seen a man give birth. Never in her life had she seen women so obvious, so transparent, so desperate.... Where did she move to again? She watched absently as he wrung out the rag and droplets of his would-be drink fell to the ground. Fortunately, only a negligible amount of liquid made it past the cloth napkin, and he came away mostly unscathed. 

“You knew that was going to happen! How?!” Bulma demanded. 

Vegeta casually wiped off his seat and sat back down. “I’ve been here four times and that only _didn’t_ happen one time.”   
“Then why the fuck would you come back!?” Bulma forcefully planted her hands on the table and stood up abruptly, catching the attention of the few remaining patrons who didn’t see the scene unfold. “Did you _want_ Cinderella to give you a handjob or was she just paying you back for something?” 

Vegeta whipped his head around, cutting his eyes to meet her ire. Before he could respond, she threw some money down on the table and snatched up her purse. “I’m leaving.” 

Bulma stomped down the meandering sidewalk, fruitlessly trying to remember which set of shops she parked by. They all looked the same through red vision and she wasn’t even sure she wanted to get behind the wheel at that moment. She found a concrete picnic table that looked scarcely used and threw her bag along with herself down on the seat. 

The promenade they stopped at was compromised of a nice mixture of restaurants and boutiques, all of which seemed to have either savory or decadent smells coming from them. Bulma’s stomach started rumbling in response. She may have stormed off in a hangry fit, but the weather was nice at least, she conceded. The leaves were in varying states of change and the array of Autumn and Halloween decorations help quell her anxiety. 

Large and small groups of couples with and without children, people walking dogs passed on by as she sat at the stone table. There was a large fountain situated in the middle with kids of various ages running around the perimeter, tossing coins in, playing tag with each other. This was a side of town she hadn’t really seen before; or hadn’t really noticed. There were families here. Nuclear, mixed, built-in.. And people of all ages. Not just the harlots she had the pleasure of watching make fools of themselves or some of the guys she’d wish had asked for her number. 

But was that all she was programmed to see? Either potential suitors or competition? She pushed a pebble around with her foot as she contemplated her situation.   
“I thought you left?” a gruff voice said from behind her. 

She squeezed her eyes tight for a second, not feeling like dealing with the consequences of her actions. “I couldn’t remember where I parked.” 

Vegeta snickered before placing a hand by her side. She had yet to look behind at him but focused on his open hand. “What?” 

“Give me your keys.” 

“Why?”

“Just do it,” he exasperated. 

Bulma dug them out of her purse and dropped them into his hand. He held it up and clicked a button twice, sounding the locking mechanism and subsequent alert. Her head quickly jerked in the direction of the sound, forcing her to finally look at him. 

To her surprise, in his freshly stitched hand, he was holding a linen napkin, with a juicy, blueberry muffin right in her line of sight. Bulma’s eyes started welling up and she placed a hand over her to keep from whimpering. 

“Jesus Christ, you _do_ have PMS.” Vegeta rolled his eyes and dropped the muffin onto the table. “I’m just going to get an Uber.” He started back in the direction he came but was quickly tugged back by a soft hand on his arm. 

“No wait! I’m sorry. Really.” She blinked back a few tears and cleared her throat. “I shouldn’t have stormed off like that. Or said what I did. And yeah, okay, so I do have PMS. But please let’s not ever talk about my period again though.” 

“Won’t be an issue,” he assured, crossing his arms, looking around to make sure no one else heard. 

“Sit for a second,” she pleaded. “I owe you an explanation and an apology.” 

“If you absolutely must do either, at least do it in the car. I’ve got stuff to do tonight.” 

“Fine. Keys?” 

“Yeah right. You can have these back when I make it to my car safely.” He headed towards the parking lot, not bothering to check if Bulma was behind him or not. 

Vegeta pretended to gag as Bulma sang along with the radio. “What’s wrong you don’t like this song?” She laughed at his expression as she leaned into him and started rubbing on his shoulders, embellishing her every movement. She pretended her cell was a microphone and turned the radio up even louder. “And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I’ll make a wish send it to heaven and make you want to cry.” Her body writhed in exaggerated patterns as she let loose and had her own karaoke session in the car. The singing was terrible, and so were her moves, but she could swear she got a small smirk out of him for a split second. Before the song was over, he quickly turned the radio down low, forcing her to acknowledge how horrible her composition skills were. All she could do was laugh at herself though, she was after all, a terrible singer. Another song came up and Bulma squealed with excitement. His hand went for the volume again, but she beat him to the screen. “No wait, I really do like this song.” She turned it up and began lip synching with it. Once the chorus hit, Bulma leaned her head against the window and hummed along softly with “Return of the Mack.” 

“I don’t' think I’ve heard this song since like the 9th grade,” Vegeta mumbled, what he thought was out of earshot. 

Bulma turned to face him not expecting him to have any formed opinions about anything, especially music. She decided not to poke the bear, thinking he might go back into hibernation, so she kept it casual. 

“Yeah, I haven’t heard this since like my eighth grade Valentine’s Day dance. I’m surprised I remember the lyrics.” She smiled to herself as she leaned back into her passenger seat and reminisced about her childhood. 

When they arrived back at the school, the parking lot was almost completely empty. Vegeta pulled up beside his car and parked. They sat in silence for a moment as bulma tugged her skirt down a little and put her heels back on. She twisted her torso to face him and smiled. 

“Thanks for that. I didn’t realize how badly I needed someone to talk to. And if you don’t tell anyone about my meltdown, I won’t tell anyone what we talked about,” she bargained. The last thing he needed was for people to think he was going _considerate_. 

“Hn.” 

“Hey, before you go,” bulma started. 

Vegeta groaned lightly, irritated that he apparently hadn’t pacified the situation. 

“What?” 

“Did you mean what you said about me being insecure?” 

His face twisted in confusion. “When did I say you were insecure?” 

“Earlier,” she huffed. “That whole thing about me not being the smartest or prettiest.” 

“It’s amazing how you have to perfectly good ears but didn’t actually hear me. I said you didn’t _feel_ like either of those. I didn’t say you weren’t,” he clarified. 

“Oh. Umm.. So you think I'm-” 

~Call From... Yamoocha~ 

Bulma’s phone began ringing through the radio, ruining the breakthrough. She had more questions, but he considered the interruption auspicious and took it as such.

“I think that’s for you. Better not keep ‘Yamoocha’ waiting.” Vegeta grinned, as he closed her door and got into his own car, heading for his house. 

Just as he got his back door open, Vegeta’s own phone began to ring. 

“No one has even said anything about. I swear it’s almost like it didn’t happen. And besides, this one will be easy. Guy just skipped on two court hearings for...,” Raditz paused as he flipped through his papers, “public drunkenness. Quick and easy payout. Besides..” 

Vegeta used the ball of his foot to pry off his other shoe as he thought about the offer on the table. He pressed the phone into his ear with his shoulder as he placed a few boxes on the counter and listened to the surprisingly solid point Raditz had. Almost an entire week had gone by since Nappa’s vague threat of ‘having an answer by Monday' and seeing as how nothing came of it, water under the bridge was a tailor-made appellation to the situation. 

He started rifling through the boxes, pulling out different parts before he realized he was only half-listening to Raditz. “Yeah, fine. I’ll get up with you later.” 

“Alright,” Raditz laughed, “I’ll definitely be up later.. But only for you..” 

*click 

0-0-0-0-0 

A blank white board was all that welcomed Vegeta’s last set of students into the lab. Normally, it would be congested with impossibly difficult questions that even the book couldn’t answer or the last words of a problem student. Instead, his students found him reclined in his chair, legs crossed on his desk. Once the classroom was full, he stood upright and looked around the room. 

“We’re watching a video today on the pathway of blood, starting from the heart. There will be a quiz at the end so take notes.” 

“We’re allowed to take notes?” one student whispered to the other. 

“Yeah, he must be having one of his cool days,” she whispered back. 

He didn’t want it to go to his head, but he was pretty cool, wasn’t he? _Yeah, Remember that spoiler alert line?_ He reminisced internally. 

“Yeah but remember what happened after that?” Super devil asked. “You’re _finally_ able to sleep through the night again.” 

“Shut up,” he snapped. 

All the students looked around, but no one said anything. 

Vegeta shook his head before turning the lights down and starting the movie. 

His foot tapped anxiously against the leg of his desk as he planned out the rest of his evening. He managed to switch his shift with another teacher after a little persuasion, but he was still going to be tight on time. The break he gave his students wasn’t for their sake by any means, he was just ready to be done with the day and a video was the quickest way to get them out. 

The end credits rolled through and the sound of graphite dragging against paper pulled him back to the present; that and familiar voices outside of his door. 

He stuck his head out to tell whoever it was to fuck off but was instead beckoned over to the conversation when his flames came into view. With a grunt, he relented, but acknowledged his students before stepping out. 

“Everyone can leave after the test.” 

“Woooohoooo,” they cheered collectively. 

“Shut up. I’ll give you five minutes to look over your notes. Time starts now.” 

“Does anybody work around here anymore?” he asked sarcastically, making his way to the group. 

“Not by choice,” Juu answered in an indiscernible tone, “but it pays the bills.” 

“She’s right. Adulting sucks. Anyway, Goku, are you sure you guys don’t mind? I really hate to impose,” Bulma gave her sincerest plea, “I’m totally good with the Holiday Inn.” 

“Not at all Bulma! Chi-Chi, might like you more than me even! It was all her idea and I can’t say no to her.....ever.” 

“Uhh.. huh..” 

“Well, I’d offer but I only have a one-bedroom apartment myself; that and I don’t really know you that well,” Juu interjected. 

Naturally the camera panned to Vegeta, “Don’t look at me. I’m an asshole.” 

“Well thanks again! I owe you guys a date night then. Wherever y’all want, take my credit card and have fun!” 

Goku rubbed the back of his head. “That’s not necessary but if you insist.” He turned his attention to the blonde in the group. “Are you chaperoning tonight as well Ms. Gero?” 

“I’ll be there. I don’t remember which shift so I’ll just get there when it starts. I have no other plans.” 

“Awesome! Looks like we’ll all be there together then. Maybe we can all do something afterwards too. I know Yamcha will want to. What about you two?” Goku looked between Juu and Vegeta, who had remarkably similar looks on their faces. 

“Possibly. I’ve got one more student session today. Bye.” Juu paced down the hall with as much enthusiasm as her words. 

“Neat. What about you Vegeta?” 

“I’m probably busy.” 

“You mean you don’t know?” Bulma teased, partly joking and partly trying to call him out for constantly being overly elusive. She knew damn well he wasn’t busy, he was just playing loose for no reason. Probably had commitment issues. 

“I _mean_ I’m already being forced into something I don’t want to do. I’d rather mitigate my chances of it happening twice in one night.” That was one explanation, but mostly, it had been a while since he’d taken a job and he was itching to get back to it. He just assumed his ‘extracurricular’ was probably taking years off his life, but he was surprised how much he was looking forward to it. 

“Okay then,” Bulma shrugged. 

“Aww well, there’s still time to change your mind so don’t give us an answer now,” Goku said optimistically. “Meet me in the gym after school?” 

“Not today, text me tomorrow.” Vegeta turned back the way he came and shut the door to his classroom. 

“Hey, he’ll change his mind. Don’t let it bother you.” Goku placed a hand on Bulma's shoulder and squeezed it lightly, instilling confidence in her. 

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “It doesn’t bother me Goku. I just sort of thought we’d gotten past the point of strained acquaintances by now. It’s like one step forward two steps back, ya know?” 

Goku listened as Bulma rambled on about the last encounter they had and how he was actually way less of a dickface than he let on. Most of what happened at the doctor’s office and after, including her tantrums, were left out, but she did confide in him how he consoled her on the way back and they actually talked like friends. Of course he made her promise not to tell anyone that he did that. “So, I know there’s some shred of humility in there. He just keeps hampering it when things start to get... I don’t know? Amiable?" 

Goku laughed lightly at her concern. “Bulma, if you’re worried about him because you think he’s lonely or..or needs a friend or just human contact.. Don't be.”   
“I don’t understand?” 

“Vegeta isn’t this tragically flawed character with some sad backstory that impedes his ability to form relationships. He’s the way he is because he wants to be. That’s just the person he is and it’s what makes him unique. And trust me”, his voice got lower, “he’s not lonely.” There was a chance he should’ve left that part out, but he thought he saw a hint of something else brewing. “If you really want to get in his good graces, or at least not always on his shit list, look for it in his cues. You’ll know it if he really doesn’t like you.” 

“Goku...” Bulma stuttered cautiously.” Are you feeling okay?” 

“Well I am a little hungry,” he beamed at the thought of food. 

“Thought so. Thanks for the pep talk though.” 

“Anytime. Hey, do you happen to have any quarters for the vending machine? I’ve only got $10 in change and I don’t think that’s enough.” 

“Maybe. But I have one more question. What do you know about Yamcha?” 

Goku grinned knowingly. “You want to know if the rumors are true, don’t you?” 

It probably wasn’t a good sign that that was the first thing he guessed considering she didn’t so much as bring up his name until now. Maybe she didn’t want to know. No, she really didn’t. But she needed to. 

“I don’t know if "want" is the right word, but yes please. Tell me,” she said anxiously. 

“I’ll put it like this. I have never seen Yamcha do anything that would be considered immoral or even frowned upon, myself. I would have to believe that if the rumors were true, the school system would’ve stepped in with some sort of investigation. Nothing like that has ever taken place. I’ve known him for a long time, and I can assure you, he’d never harm you. That’s all I can give you about that, but I strongly suggest you go straight to the source if you’re still having reservations.” 

_Damn he must be hungry._

“Thanks, Goku,” she smiled sweetly, “Chi-Chi sure got lucky with you.” 

He bid her farewell, coins jingling happily in his hands, as he made great strides towards the lounge. 

“Wait wait wait!” Bulma called out as she chased after him. “I really had two questions.” 

“Oh?” Goku asked. 

“Do you think he’s boyfriend material?” 

0-0-0-0-0 

“Just set it five minutes fast and stop asking questions” Vegeta commanded, well past tired of the clerk’s innuendos. 

“Okay, Okay,” she smiled, “I guess five minutes isn’t _that_ fast. I’m sure you can get a lot done in that amount of time, right?” Her coquettish features weren’t unpleasant to look at, but something about her seemed offputting. 

The milky, clerk slowy twisted the miniscule dial until the larger hand was exactly five minutes past the rest of the world. Se fastened it snugly on Vegeta’s wrist and whimpered slightly when it was jerked away coldly from her grip. 

Vegeta scrutinized it carefully and centered it to cover the lack-of-tan line before handing the clerk a black card that was so stiff, she attempted to make a joke about it. With his eyes rolled and the box it came in tossed in the nearest trash receptacle, Vegeta walked out with a smug look on his face and as much of a spring as his step could muster. 

Loathe as he was to admit it, Raditz was right about the simplicity of the job and he was actually feeling _content_. No one was dead this time, he didn’t have evidence clawed onto his neck, and when he collected his check from the aforementioned fiasco, it was quite a larger some than he was briefed on beforehand.   
Being in a good mood wasn’t something he was likely to admit in this lifetime, but he wasn’t feeling all that annoyed about having to chaperone some PG-13 version of a Grindhouse film. He _almost_ smiled when he looked at his watch but realized he was behind on time and still needed to change. 

He crammed his hair into his helmet and sped off in the direction of his house, debating on briefly turning into a big black guy and popping a wheelie like in silly comedies. 

0-0-0-0-0 

"Okay! Send me a pic!" Chi-Chi gripped her phone tightly as she waded through her house, tidying up in the process. 

"Do I really need to? I'm coming over in less than an hour." Bulma shifted the phone uncomfortably between her ear and her shoulder, half wiggling into her stockings, half hoping her friend would oblige. 

"Yes, you have to! I need to make sure you don't look better than me so Goku won't suddenly leave me for an upgrade!" 

"We must've been soul mates in another life." Bulma smiled into the phone, thinking just how grateful she was for having someone like Chi-Chi in her life. Their 'womance' was for sure whirlwind, but she was just sorry she didn't meet her earlier in life. "Alright babe, only for you." 

"But I'm just going to put on my dress ok? I don't feel like driving over in heels and I'll wait to do my makeup.” 

"That’s fine!" 

"Okay, I need a minute though. Put the phone on speaker and I'll yell when I'm ready." 

Chi-chi did just that. With the phone on the counter, she went towards the fridge and pulled out a few jello shots she'd decided to whip up. Ever since school started this year, she found herself doing things she always shied away from. Her reputation as being someone prudish had finally gotten the better of her so decided she needed to venture out of her comfort zone more. She never held Goku back from doing anything he wanted to, but he always chose her in lieu of parties or social events. It was his turn to feel coveted. 

"HEY!" Bulma yelled as loudly as she could, breaking Chi-Chi of her trip down memory lane. 

Chi-chi turned back around and grabbed her phone. "Ready?" 

"No, not yet. But seeing myself in the mirror, I was just thinking... 

"Yeah?" 

"Goku never had a chance! _Ha_." 

Just shut up and send me the nudes. 

“Wow..” Chi-Chi said calmly into the phone. “I mean double wow, but now that I’m looking at you..” 

“Something wrong? Is my butt too big?” Bulma voiced her concern. 

"I was just thinking, is this really a good idea?" She examined Bulma’s barely-there hemline and realized hers wasn’t any more modest. 

“What are you talking about, of course it is! Remember we opted for sexy, not slutty? Hence the little black dress theme.” 

“I'm just not sure sexy is appropriate for a high school dance.” 

"You're right, it's not.... for the students. But hey, we're mature, beautiful, confident women with lives outside of work. And you know, that whole... we're not getting any younger blah blah blah. “ 

"...Preach." Chi-Chi sighed as she held her own dress up against herself. 

A little less than an hour later, the doorbell rang and Chi-Chi bounced happily towards the door, fully dressed, minus her makeup. 

“Damn woman!” Bulma’s jaw almost hit the threshold... “this LBD theme _was_ a great idea. You better make sure Goku double wraps it tonight.” 

“And you better make sure Yamcha has a book over his lap.” She quipped. 

“We’re pervs,” Bulma laughed as she followed Chi-Chi into the house, carrying her bag. 

“Now do you want ambiguous furry ears or this little tophat that looks like you're trying to hard but waited till the last minute so everything else was gone?" 

Chi-chi scrutinized them carefully before grabbing the furry ears. "Jello shot?” 

"I've created a monster." Bulma quirked her eyebrow with satisfaction. "Lead the way." 

While finishing their second round of Jollyrancher shots, they turned their attention to a shuffling coming from the foyer. Yamcha and Goku strolled in merrily caring two armloads of fast food. 

Bulma dug into her waffle fries with vehemence. “Thanks! They're a little pricey but they really do have the best chicken.” 

“I heard they soak the chicken in pickle juice or something,“ Yamcha added, dipping his nugget into Micronesian sauce. 

“Well in that case, a toast to pickle jucie!” a slightly inebriated Chi-Chi suggested. 

“Here, here!” They tapped all their styrofoam cups together and finished their meal with vigor. 

Once all the food was decimated, Chi-Chi pulled Bulma upstairs to her bathroom to do their makeovers. The each opted for a subtle smokey eye and natural lashes, but went heavy on the primer to lock it in. In attempt to keep them at bay, they both changed out of their dresses so they wouldn’t be (un)willingly attacked when the guys made it over with food. 

With their makeup fully done, it was time to wow. 

Bulma grabbed a pair of floss from her undergarment bag and slowly pulled it over her legs. She watched herself in the mirror, striking seductive poses for fun (cause who doesn’t do that, right?) once she fitted her strapless bra and garter on. She snapped her stockings into place and wiggled into a dress that was probably a size too small. She made sure to push up her breasts just enough to spill out when she inhaled but still stay perky when she exhaled in her plunging neckline. The bottom flared out in more an of A-line style, showing off her ‘legs for days’ physique, but was quickly filled in with a fluffy petticoat. 

Chi-Chi forwent the stockings since her shoes were open-toed, but she made lightly dabbed body glitter on to give her legs a little flair. Unbelievably, her dress was almost more impressive. The top looked more like a showgirl bustier, complete with a corset back that had a bow at the bottom. It revealed much less cleavage but fit her so well it could’ve been painted on. Her dress was equally short, but the bottom was more like that of a tutu or ballgown style wedding dress... 

“Wow..” 

Chi-Chi blushed as Bulma came up behind her. “This looks better than when you answered the door even. Turn around.” 

Bulma looked at her like you’d want your best friend to look at you on your wedding day. “I’m speechless. Come here.” 

They hugged each other tightly before Bulma pulled away with a serious look on her face. “Does he know?” 

“What?” Chi-Chi asked confused. “I’m not pregnant if that’s what you're getting at?” 

“Ha Ha no! Of course not. Come with me.” Bulma pulled her into the closet and shut the door, revealing a full-length mirror secured to the back of it. She pushed Chi-Chi closer and held her in place, forcing her to look at herself. 

“Does he know you want him to see you in this but longer and in _white_? Maybe holding a bouquet?”   
Chi-Chi stared at herself for a while before letting out a breath she had been holding. “Am I that obvious?”

“Well to me, but I’m a woman, so I get it. Why do you sound so glum about it though? Don’t you want to marry him?” 

“Of course I do! But I don’t want him to ask because I put the idea in his head. I want him to ask because he wants to--” 

“proclaim his never-ending love for you in front of your friends and family?” Bulma guessed, cutting her off. 

“Not even, Bulma.” Chi-Chi exited the closet. “I just want him to want me the way I want him. I can’t explain it but it’s like I want to give him the ultimate gift, you know? Like I want to give him the only thing I can, myself.” Bulma decided her favorite thing so far this year was the lovestruck, almost ethereal, look Chi-Chi got when she talked about Goku. 

“I can't say I’ve ever felt that, but I can imagine what you mean,” she said poignantly, realizing she never had felt quite that strongly about anyone. “But Chi, as intelligent as you are, you’d be a fool to think he isn’t every bit as enamored with you as you are with him. I mean, you’ve seen the women in this town! Goku is one of the few guys I’ve met since moving here that could easily get every single one of them if he so desired, but he doesn’t,”she reassured, “he only wants the best one.” Bulma smiled whole-heartedly at the little tears forming in Chi-Chi's eyes before helping her fan them dry. There was no way they could get their makeup done in time again and still do their hair! 

Yamcha froze dead in his tracks when Bulma finally descended the stairs. She was getting a little bit of a head rush from the look on his face but ultimately wasn’t surprised she elicited such a response. 

“I think I might need to take up smoking,” he whispered to Goku who was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Wow. Bulma... you look.. I mean your hair.. Your face.. It's perfect.” Now it was her turn to blush. Her ego was superseded by the genuine look on his face and was replaced with an unfamiliar feeling...modesty. 

“Thank you, Yamcha. I like your outfit too.” 

Both guys had decided to keep it casual. Yamcha had on a pair of comfy slacks (you know those tapered one’s that guys with manbuns wear, and you hate to admit they’re kind of sexy? Yeah those) and a breast cancer awareness shirt that said, ‘save second base’. 

Goku had the same type of pants and a shirt with a sea monster that said ‘Let’s get Kraken’ on it. He anxiously waited for his turn, knowing how well Chi-Chi cleaned up. Of course, she was always alluring to him. When she finally made her appearance, Goku fell to the floor and little X’s formed over his eyes. He could handle the chignon bun, but the dress ended it for him right then and there. 

He awoke to a gleaming halo and a milky face. "Don’t tell my girlfriend, but I think I’m in love with someone else,” he whispered as he rubbed Chi-Chi's arm drowsily. 

Bulma squeezed Yamcha’s bicep, prompting them to head out the door and give them their moment. 

“Since we’re riding together, we can just go ahead and go. I’m sure they can figure it out,” she suggested. “Okay if I bring my bag? I might want to change my shoes at some point if we stay long." 

Yamcha nodded gleefully, as they headed for his car. He made sure to walk in front, heading straight for her door. 

He paused when he got there, as if just remembering something, and turned back around to face her. “Would it be okay if I opened the door for you? I know it’s ‘not your thing’, but it’s my thing tonight. At least take your manicure into consideration.” 

The blush returned to her face as she considered his request. _At least he remembered_ she smiled to herself, content with his progress. 

They had gotten there about half an hour early, offering to set tables and lay out food if need be. It appeared more staff than had signed on for chaperoning was there though, in full Halloween regalia. It was sort of fun to see everyone dressed up. They were always in such drab outfits, it made sense that they’d want to let loose and let some of their interests shine through, she determined. 

Since there wasn’t anything left she could help with, Bulma excused herself from Yamcha’s company and went to the bathroom. She messed with her tousled waves and wondered if maybe ditching the hat on the ride wasn’t the right choice after all. Chi-Chi had already ditched her ears in lieu of a dainty side-bun and she suggested the same to Bulma. She shrugged as she examined the rest of herself, wondering how many numbers she could get if she tried. 

Truthfully, she was glad she had a date tonight though. Flying solo always made for great stories later but going with someone made her feel _wanted_. And being wanted by Yamcha wasn’t the worst thing she could think of. 

It couldn’t have been bad at all in fact, considering on the way over he presented her with tickets to a Body Worlds exhibit she had been dying to see. She assumed Goku or Chi-Chi must’ve filled him in on it, but she was so taken aback by the gesture, she almost forced him off the road trying to hug him. 

“Thinking about someone are we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter may be up and running soon! I am actually working on it as I'm typing this EndNote TBH. I wanted to pretty much dedicate a whole chapter to the weekend *wink wink but I needed to get the school day over with first, so hope you guys don't mind the split! Please enjoy guys! R and R if you please! And as always, let me know of grammatical errors. Sometimes staring at the screen for hours on end makes it hard for my vision to pick up inconsistencies. Lord knows they were plentiful in my last chapter XD


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the risk of getting my ass handed to me... I’m going to go ahead and post another chapter. This one may or may not be filler-ish. I had a hard time deciding so if you think it is, please don’t judge too harshly. I swear, it’s for the greater good guys. If I stare at my work too long and don’t post it, I won’t move forward and work on the next chapter. I’ll continue to critique/improve/edit/add, and it’ll be a long time before another one gets done. I mentioned in the last chapter that I already had enough written to post another, so I I’m just going to fire ahead and do so. I don’t think this chapter was quite as ‘uneventful’ as the last and it should introduce some new subplots, so there’s that. Ha, I’m actually a little nervous about doing this XD 
> 
> Shout out to Panda_Power_0788 for reviewing my last chapter! Thank you for helpful feedback :) 
> 
> But I will go on record saying, I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter for some reason.

Bulma sprang around after wrongfully assuming she was alone in the bathroom. 

“Oh! Hey juu! Whoa you scared me.” Bulma held her hand over her chest, taking a few deep breaths. 

“Apologies. I like your outfit. Might look better with a hat though.” She flipped her hair with her hand and placed it on her hip. 

She was so forward and devoid of any emotion, Bulma wasn’t even sure if Juu liked her. Still, she took the suggestion in stride. 

“Thanks.” 

“You didn’t answer my question. Who were you thinking about?” 

"Ummm..” 

“Don’t act weird. I’m a psychologist, remember? It’s my job to analyze people.” She forced a smile, but Bulma could tell she was at least making an effort. 

Should she tell her though? And why was she asking? It wasn’t like they were close friends, if even friends at all. 

As if reading her mind, “I know I come across as a bit brash, but that’s just my personality. I’m happy with it, so don’t try to change me. I just thought since I’ll be working here for the foreseeable future, I should try to form bonds and do all that girl talk nonsense... or whatever.” 

“Well, that was unexpected,” Bulma admitted, “but I think that’s a nice idea. I just started here this year as well. Probably only a few weeks before you. And to answer your question, I was thinking about my date.” 

“The shop teacher?” 

Bulma nodded. 

“Good choice.” 

“You think so?” Bulma perked up at her comment. She was a psychologist so if anything, she’d be in the know right? She should be able to tell if he was some sleezy scumbag in sheep’s clothing. 

“I don’t really know him to be frank, but he seems pretty agreeable, for a beta male. Easy on the eyes too.” 

Bulma thought about it for a moment. “That’s fair to say, I guess. I like your outfit too. Did you bring a date?” 

“No.”

“Okay then. Want to see if we can round you up a guy?” Bulma asked playfully. “I’m sure you noticed almost all the staff came and from what I understand, a good number of them are single. Plus, with that outfit, no one could say no.” 

“I’ll pass. Let’s just go get some punch and crackdown on dress code violators. Ourselves excluded of course.” 

Judging by Juu’s outfit, she was absolutely out to get a man. She could deny it all she wanted, but a form-fitting, leather body suit with six-inch stiletto boots and cape covering the backout portion screamed “Take me home and let me step on your balls.” But Bulma obliged her request. 

“Lead the way, friend.” 

They made their way back to the auditorium where the lights were now fully dimmed, and all the decorations were secured. Table after table was filled with various snacks and drinks and lined with themed table cloths. She looked around for Yamcha but couldn’t find him. She did however, see a flushed faced Goku nuzzling up with Chi-Chi on a set of unfurled bleachers. 

_At least they made it out of the house._

“Is this thing on? Hello? Hello?” An ear-piercing shriek echoed throughout the building as one of the staff members tapped onto a microphone hooked up to the PA system. 

“Ah. There we go. Welcome staff, to the Commencement of the 12th annual ‘Make Halloween Great Again’ dance. 

“What the fuck?” A few of the staff members mouthed between each other. 

A lengthy announcement was made on dress code violation, expoudning that it was not their job to force students to ‘cover up’. Instead they were briefed on keeping unwanted advances to a minimum and the prohibition of drinking, drugs, and ritual animal slaughtering. And also, no furries were to be in attendance. 

When the announcement concluded, the door flung open and as promised, gaggles of underdressed teenagers began flooding the dance floor. 

“So much for cracking down on dress code,” Bulma whined to Juu as slutty avocado toast and suggestive sacks of potatoes stampeded past them to the DJ booth. 

They both walked around the perimeter briefly, acquainting themselves with the territory before splitting up to cover both sides of the room. Bulma was a little peeved her date had disappeared shortly after they arrived. She had declined two offers from fellow teachers but quickly accepted when of all people Juu asked if she wanted to re-create the club scene from 'Romy and Michele'. 

“I’m just going to put this out there. I’m over thirty but I’m not ready to try sex with another woman,” Bulma’s voice carried over the music. 

“Pity,” Juu smiled, genuinely this time, “But let’s get one thing straight. That was my line. You’re a much more convincing Michele.” Bulma and Juu shared a short laugh before continuing their routine. 

When the song was over, Juu motioned to the snack table but Bulma declined, telling her she’d catch up with her later after she found Yamcha. 

Maybe Juu wasn’t looking for a guy, but Bulma was supposed to be on a date damn it! And come to think of it, someone else was missing. She marched over to the spot Goku and Chi-Chi were still keeping warm but were now eating hour de oeuvres instead of each other. 

“Yamcha was on the phone last time I saw him. Sounded important,” answered Goku, through a mouth full of food. “And Vegeta swapped his shift with another teacher. He was here earlier setting up the tables and decorations. He’s probably in the vocational building picking up or has already left. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine. Was everything okay with Yamcha? Do you know who called him?” Bulma said, suddenly feeling guilty for getting impatient. 

“No idea. Sorry Bulma.” 

Conveniently, a hand gripped Bulma’s waist and spun her around into a warm embrace. “I was looking for you. Where did you go?” 

“Where did you go?” she countered playfully, allowing him to rest his other hand on her hip before dragging her out onto the dance floor, Chi-Chi waving her off. 

“Sorry about that. I got a call from the management office at my apartment. Apparently, there was a watermain break near the back entrance and my building’s lot is flooded. They said I won’t be able to park tonight but since I’m on the second floor, I can go back if I want.” 

“Oh wow, that sucks. What are you going to do?” Bulma yelled over the increasing volume of the music. 

“I think I’m just going to ask my friend Tien if I can crash at his place tonight. He’s not far from here and that way I won’t have to try to trudge through muddy water to get into my apartment,” he yelled back. 

They danced through the rest of the song before taking a punch break and Yamcha excusing himself once more. GoCHi had finally made it off the bleachers and were engaged in an inappropriate lip-lock as they slow danced when Bulma spotted them. Not wanting to be the third wheel, she walked over to one of the snack tables. Everything looked scrumptious but her stomach just wasn’t feeling it. Her nerves were fine, she wasn’t ill, and she was hungry... but the thought of food wasn’t sitting well. _Probably too many jello shots._

“They do know the example they’re setting, right?” Juu asked as she approached Bulma and nodded in the direction of Goku and Chi-chi. 

“Probably” she mused. “But give them a break, they’re in love.” 

“Speaking of, where’s your date?” 

“Hm? Oh, he said he needed to make a phone call. _Again_. He’s staying over at a friend’s house, so I guess he’s making sure it’s ok? He’ll be back.” 

“Indubitably. Just making sure that wasn’t him over there in that group of slutty social media icons. I believe the Pinterest one’s cleavage even has cleavage.” Juu guffawed exactly three times before returning to her usual state of disinterest. 

“Hm?” Bulma squinted across the crowd and blew out a flustered breath. 

In his defense, he looked more like he needed rescuing than a rubber, and both hands were visible at all times. 

“You should probably intervene, he looks a bit distraught.” 

"I think I will.” She thanked her for finding him and casually strolled off. 

“Oh, hey girls,” Bulma cooed, “Thanks for keeping him warm, but I would like my date to myself now.” She locked her arm with his and forced him the other direction. “Enjoy the dance,” she sneered sardonically, the teens scattering in her wake. 

“Good timing, B. I was just about to send out an S.O.S signal,” Yamcha joked. 

They continued to walk until they reached a more secluded corner of the gym. 

“Yamcha, I need to ask you something and if you’re not honest with me, I’m not sure we could even be friends.” 

“I promise. Ask and I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” Yamcha vowed. 

“Did you ever do anything, with any of the students?” Her stomach wrenched in anticipation. That, and it was an awkward thing to have to ask. 

“Bulma..” he grabbed a hand and squeezed it between both of his. “I know you’ve heard rumors, mostly in the form of insults from Vegeta, but I PROMISE you, I have never done anything with a student. If I’m guilty of anything it’s being a little attention hungry. Sometimes it's nice knowing I'm still appealing to someone. I'm sure you can't relate though. Since you've been here, I've seen two students punch themselves in the face to pay you a visit.” 

Bulma tried to remain mum, but a persistent smile kept forcing its way through. "Then where did these fabrications come from? I mean stories usually have an origin with a hint of truth attached." 

"You’re right. I made a comment one time about a girl's dress. I genuinely thought it was just a nice dress, but she took it the wrong way, her parents got involved and I was put on probation until the 'investigation' was over. That was years ago, and I eventually switched schools because of it. I don’t really know how my reputation came with me, but I swear nothing ever happened.” 

"Maybe you should lay off being so receptive to the attention so you’re not continuing to implicate yourself. And not to de-emphasize your charisma, but some of the other staff here have the same problem, but don’t feed into it.” 

Bulma wasn’t sure how that last part was going to be received but he wasn’t the only appealing male at the school. He was just the only guy that acknowledged it with welcome arms. 

Yamcha simply nodded in agreeance. “You’re right. I’m being ignorant. But I meant what I said. I guess I just never really had a reason to change until now.”  
“Thank you for being honest with me. I won’t bring it up anymore,” she promised. “Now, let's get back out there.” 

0-0-0-0-0 

“Well if your date doesn’t mind, I’d be glad to show you how my tonsil inspecting tool works. I just need to assume the position.” Raditz propped his leg up on a chair, Captain Morgan style and puffed out his chest. A fellow officer walked by and gesticulated lewdly before giving him the thumbs up. 

She laughed jubilantly before slapping his knee and suggesting they get to know each other better first, assuring him her date wouldn’t care. He had spent most of the night with the woman he was trying exceedingly hard to impress but didn’t want to scare her off by being too forward. Not until she made the first move anway. Raditz snatched one of the balloons that were being tossed round, a skeleton shaped one, and handed it to the woman in front of him. 

“Thank you?” she said politely, rotating it in her hands to inspect it. 

“A bone a day keeps the cobwebs away. That’s what I’m all about.” 

She laughed harder this time, before grabbing his hand and dragging him in the direction she thought his office was. The precinct’s annual Halloween party was in full swing, but it was getting a little stuffy with all the streamers and low-lying ornaments that kept separating the space between them. Raditz put one arm around her shoulder and guided her into the second to last room at the end of a long hallway. 

“This is your office? You must be important.” She hopped up on his desk and crossed her legs, her dress inching up slightly. 

“Ah, it’s not that impressive. I’m hoping to make detective by the new year and hopefully get some better digs.” Raditz rolled his chair over to her and rested a hand on her knee. “So, what do you want to know?” 

“I’m sorry?” She pushed a puffy bushel of soft hair to one side, revealing a classy halter top. 

Raditz swallowed hard at the slight gesture. “You said you wanted to get to know each other better first. What did you want to know?”  
“Oh!” she laughed, “Of course. What do you want me to know?” 

“Hmm,” Raditz rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “Well my mouth doesn’t usually do the talking, but you do smell awfully good... so I guess I can humor you.” 

A row of perfect teeth took residence across her face and Raditz could feel his cheeks heating up. _That’s a first_ , he thought before clearing his throat. 

“Well, for starters,” he looked around his space, “I’m a cop slash sort of detective. I have a younger brother. I never brush my hair, it just does this. And umm....” he loosened his tie a little bit. “Truthfully, I’d much rather you be on the receiving end... of the interrogation I mean.” 

“Am I making you nervous?” She pressed her hands onto the desk and leaned forward into his personal bubble. 

“Sort of, and I don’t know why,” he admitted through a nervous smile. 

“Let’s do a little role-reversal then,” she leaned back once again. “I have a large collection of Lip Smackers. I used to be a gymnast. And I really like spicy food. Oh, and I do brush my hair, but I have to use Mane ‘n tail to get it to cooperate.” 

“Marry me.” 

“Not what I was expecting, but I’ve been asked crazier things. What else do you want to know?” 

Raditz shook his head back to reality. “I want to know what the deal is with that short bald guy. I mean seriously, who would pass you up?” 

She twirled her long hair around a finger and sighed softly. “I believe he’s sort of favoring somebody else. Since we got here, he’s been asking everyone about a blue haired woman, trying to find out if anyone has seen her. I think it might have been an ex he’s trying to reconnect with or something.” 

“Yeah? Blue-haired?” Raditz raised his eyebrows attentively. 

“Yeah, I think he just agreed to come with me to try to dig up any information he could. It’s whatever. I met him when I interned in the forensics department at his office, nothing serious, I just didn’t want to show up without a date to be honest.” she shrugged, “Besides, I was actually hoping I’d get the chance to talk to y-” 

“You got anything else on her?” he interrupted 

“Who? his ex?” 

“Uh huh.” 

“No, why would I?” She strummed her nails on his desk. 

“Nothing else? He didn’t mention a name or-” 

"Wow, if I had known everyone would be interested in this infamous _bluenette_ , I would’ve stayed at home.” She jumped to her feet and tugged her dress back down. 

Raditz figuratively slapped his forehead before extinguishing her frustrations. “I really have no interest if that’s what you’re thinking, I swear, I just think I might know her.” He leaned into her, coercing her back onto the desk. 

“So? What does that matter?” She crossed her arms. 

“I guess it doesn’t,” he reasoned. “I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t... actually, I don’t know. Forget it.” 

“Hmmm,” She tapped her chin, her anger quickly subsiding in favor of something else. “I’ll forget it, but it’s going to cost you.”  
“Name your price,” he purred. 

She tugged on his collar and brought his lips to hers. Vying for control, he gripped her shoulders and ran his hands down her soft arms, allowing her to wrap his legs around him. 

“Mm...Wait,” she untangled her legs and leaned backwards. Can I go freshen up quickly? 

“That just means you have camel toe and you want to pick your nose, right?” 

“Yeah,” she shrugged. 

“Figures. Down the hall, left at the water fountain. Just pretend to be a super sexy ninja though. We should probably keep this on the downlow if we’re going to do this here.”  
She slid off the table and quietly padded down the hall, turning around to smile at him. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, cupping his hand in front of him to check his breath. He ceased when he heard the shuffling and pulling of papers through the cracked door. A scant amount of light, like that from a cell phone, beamed from the adjacent office. Nappa’s office. 

“Hn... I guess that fucker is still here,” he whispered to himself. 

A minute later, he heard the door creak open then shut softly. Suspiciously soft for Nappa. He brushed it off until a hushed commotion between two people in the hallway got his attention again. This time, his phone went off before he could make out the voices or what they were saying. Thankfully, he had his phone on silent. He slid the screen opened and whispered into it. 

 

“Sup Broseph”  
…...  
…  
“Nah...I’m just in a ‘compromising position’ if you know what I mean. Can’t let the other women hear me or they’ll want some.”  
…...  
…  
“You know me. Hit it and quit it. Anyway, what’s up?”  
…...  
…  
“Devious. I like it. What do I need to do?”  
…...  
… 

 

“Consider it done. Later.” 

“I hope I’m not being seconded to electronics,” a sultry voice loomed from behind. 

His shoulders tensed then relaxed as he turned around to size up the owner of the voice. 

“If anyone put you second, it better be because the numeric system fired the number 1.” He met her halfway, playfully forcing her back onto the tabletop. She wrapped her legs around his waist again, this time letting her shoes fall to the ground. Deep in a lip-lock, she moaned softly before pulling away from him.  
“What’s wrong?” 

“Mmmmm.. I’m just kind of worried this may be over too quickly,” she said thoughtfully, moving a strand of hair out of her face. 

“Look, Ron Jeremy came to me for adv-” 

“No, no, no,” she giggled, “I didn’t mean like that. I just meant _this_.” She motioned to the air between them. “I’ve really enjoying just spending time with you tonight. Earlier I was trying to tell you I’d wanted to talk to you for a while but hadn’t gotten the chance yet. I don’t want you to ‘hit it and quit’ so soon.” 

“Oh shit...” 

Raditz metaphorically slapped himself for the second time. He didn’t even think about the fact that she could’ve been there through the whole conversation. Heard everything he said. But whether she was or wasn’t she was still in front of him, asking for his attention, right? 

She cocked an eyebrow, pretending like she was waiting for an explanation. The look on his face was of such guilt and self-prosecution, she couldn’t hold up the façade.  
“It’s fine,” she assured, her tone laced with humor. “I’m not saying that’s not on the table, I just don’t want this part to end just yet. You’re too good of company. Want to get out of here?” 

“Uhhhhhhhhh.. Okay.” Raditz went from without a map to 100 percent fog in the Amazon rainforest. 

0-0-0-0-0 

“Enjoying yourself?” Bulma wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “I was starting to think you and Goku had just assimilated into one entity.” She moved a few olives around on her plate but ultimately sat it down on the table untouched. 

Chi-Chi laughed whole-heartedly and finished off her punch. “What can I say? I’m just having a really good time.” They watched as Goku and Yamcha tried and failed to get a conga line going. “Usually Friday nights we Netflix and chill. And not the way you’re thinking either. We literally watch tv and eat pizza, but honestly, this is way more fun.” 

“I’ve been watching Altered Carbon,” Juu asserted, “It’s tolerable.” 

They both nodded and tried to keep the conversation going. 

“I can’t believe it’s only been an hour and half. I feel like a dinosaur.” Bulma stretched her arms up and yawned. “What are the odds we can get out of here early? Think anyone would notice?” 

“Doubtful. Most of the staff is here anyway. I wouldn’t mind blowing this off in exchange for a round of kick-boxing,” said Juu. 

“Totally. But let’s all get together again soon like this. You too Juu,” Bulma smiled. 

“I guess that wouldn’t be unacceptable,” she relented. “Maybe we can play games. I like adult card games.” 

Chi-Chi and Bulma discreetly exchanged thumbs-up with each other, before the latter snapped her fingers at an idea. “Juu, I think your costume has been missing something tonight, wait right here. I’ll be back.” 

The parking lot was oddly quiet. And big. Big and quiet. And man, there were a lot of cars. A lot of cars anyone could be hiding behind. Bulma crossed her arms over her body, berating herself for not wearing a jacket or bringing pepper spray as she waded through the lot. She could almost feel a set of eyes on her too. She shivered and focused on the sole sound of her heels clicking against the pavement rhythmically. When she found Yamcha’s car she saw her bag in the backseat and attempted to open the door. 

“Of course it’s locked you moron!” Bulma groused at herself, “Who doesn’t lock their doors.” 

“Probably the same people who talk to themselves.” 

“AHHH!” Bulma’s body went completely stiff as she stumbled backwards, thanks to her unreasonably high heels. She came close to landing on her butt, but luckily, Yamcha’s car caught her fall. She could tell there was going to be a bruise on her left arm though. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Vegeta snarled, uncovering his ears. 

She forced her heart back down her throat but was so caught up in relearning to breath, she forgot to lean herself upright and slid right off the slick paintjob, onto the ground. 

“What the hell’s wrong with _you_ Vegeta?! What kind of creeper sneaks up single, unarmed women at night in big, empty parking lots?” 

“Umm. Every kind?” He stated obviously. 

“...Right,” she paused, “Well what are you doing out here anyway?” She sneered, rubbing her arm. 

He rolled his eyes and pulled her up off the ground, with his left hand. “Since I'm done serving time, I was leaving,” he held his helmet up and waved it around, “but I saw you walking out here alone. Not the brightest idea, so I thought I’d do my good deed this millennium and walk with you. Now that you’ve successfully ruptured both my eardrums though, I retract my offer.” 

Bulma tried to subdue her smile but he could be so witty sometimes, it was contagious. “Well I’ll just walk in front of you then, that way you’re doing your good deed under false pretenses.” 

“How’s that?” 

“Well that way you can ensure my safety, but you’re really just doing it to get a good look from behind,” she said haughtily. 

“Why so you can blind me too? What sick pleasure do you get from taking all my senses away?” 

“You’re a dweeb,” she punched his shoulder, “and now that I know you ride, you’ll have to take me on it sometime.” She hooked his arms with hers, and drug him towards the entrance. 

“How did you manage to get on the decoration committee anyway? I would’ve much rather pinned a few bats to the ceiling and set up fold out tables to get out of staying.”  
“I can be very persuasive.” 

“I don’t doubt it.” 

When they walked in Bulma was surprised to find that Juu wasn’t making militant strides around the auditorium, cockblocking hopeful teachers trying to sneak behind the few unfurled bleachers. Chi-Chi managed to keep her at her side, and they didn’t look too uncomfortable either. 

“I told you I didn’t want a man, Bulma. I thought you were bringing me something for my costume.” Juu crossed her arms, expecting an explanation as the pair walked up.

“Oh no,” she began, “I didn’t bring him for you. I just found him slinking around the parking lot.” 

“I was cleaning up the trash actually,” Vegeta rebuked, “And look, someone tossed away a perfectly good strumpet.” 

Chi-Chi rolled her eyes while Bulma grabbed a stuffed pumpkin off the table and assaulted him with it until he took it and tossed it into the crowd. The students bounced it back and forth, passing it like a beach ball. 

“Sorry Juu,” she laughed, “I needed to get it out of Yamcha’s car, but it was locked. Did you see where he went? I can get it if I get his keys.” 

She tilted her head towards a group of other staff members they were both talking to. “Don’t worry about it. I probably wouldn’t like whatever it is anyway.” 

“Oh, alright then. Well let’s go see what the guys are doing.” 

“Have fun with that,” Vegeta called back as he walked toward the double doors he entered in not a minute earlier. 

“Wait up,” Juu called out to him. “I’m out too. Be safe tonight ladies. This planet as an overpopulation problem as is.” 

“Bye,” they waved simultaneously, before exchanging a look and laughing about her advice. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute Bulma?” Chi-Chi had an already pleading look on her face and she’d yet to say anything. 

“Of course, what’s up?” 

“Let’s go to the bathroom, so we can talk in private.” 

“So, would you think of me as completely terrible if I maybe just wanted Goku to myself tonight? It’s just not often he’s _this_ eager. I’m sure Yamcha wouldn’t mind if you stayed with him and I swear I will make it up to you. I’ll throw you the biggest slumber party for your birthday.” She pushed palms together and smiled shamefully. 

_Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place._

“Of course! Yeah, I’m sure Yamcha wouldn't say no,” she fibbed, “I think he was going to ask anyway.” 

She squealed and clapped her hands together excitedly. “Oh my gosh, this has been one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time and to think it’s even about to get better!”  
Bulma couldn’t bring herself to disclose the truth, Chi-Chi just looked so happy. Who was she to impede that? Besides, she could just get an Uber and relax in the hot tub at a swanky hotel, cosmopolitan in hand. Not the worst way to spend a Friday night. 

“Get your man and go home.” She hugged her goodbye and called out to Chi-Chi after she’d made it about halfway down the hall. “And tell Goku goodnight for me!” 

She checked her makeup in the mirror and twirled her fingers through her hair, trying to maintain the loose waves. When she went back out, she looked around but Yamcha was nowhere to be found. The staff had been gradually declining and after a substantial amount of time passed, she got desperate. None of the other chaperones had seen him and every time she asked someone, they gave her a sympathetic look that she did not appreciate. 

Bulma took a seat alone on a bleacher, pretending to strangle him every time she closed her eyes. If he wasn’t enjoying his time with her, he could’ve just said something instead of ghosting her. She briefly considered maybe there was an emergency, and that’s why he didn’t answer his phone, but she realized how pitiful of an excuse that was on her part. 

The remainder of the dance passed by and few faculty members offered her a ride, which she had to politely decline due to lack of housing. Imposing on Chi-Chi wasn’t an option either. Their relationship was still new, and she didn’t want to come across as that needy, dependent friend. Once the cleanup crew was deployed, Bulma crept outside and dropped her body to the curb with an _oomph_. Her options were dwindling, but she severely did not want to resort to _that_ , not yet.  
With nothing else but her thoughts, she contemplated where it went wrong, seeing as how her night started out so good. Her feet were barking at her, she lost her ride, she had no place to stay, at the moment, and now she was forced to get an Uber the Friday before Halloween and stay at her _parent’s_ house. 

_Fanfuckingtastic._

She decided to shut her mouth though before she got mugged and it started raining. She relinquished her head into her arms and balled up on the sidewalk, hoping no one would attempt to solicit her. 

“Are you lost little girl?” 

Bulma tensed up before lifting her head off her crossed arms and smiling pathetically at the face smiling back at her. 

“I may have been perpetually lost all night, Raditz. Tell me something good?” She kicked the rock that she’d been playing footsie with and lifted herself off the ground, losing her smile in the process. 

“Well you look smokin’ hot in that outfit,” he consoled, catching on that something must’ve happened. “But that does raise the question of why you’re out here alone since the dance ended an hour ago. Surely someone would cut off at least one ball to take you home. What happened to your date?” 

“Something came up,” she quipped sharply. 

“Well Damn. I feel bad leaving you here but...” He turned behind him and eyed the long, tan legs sticking out of his passenger side door, “I can’t pass this up.” 

Bulma could tell by his lingering he was torn about what to do. Raditz was a lot like Goku in that regard. They were like protective older brothers, one just exponentially pervier. But she was the one who tried to play the hero and the martyr, and he had done more than anyone else by just stopping and checking on her. 

“Don’t worry about me! I’ve had plenty of offers to be honest,” she feigned confidently, “I just didn’t think any of them were worth my time, so I’m just going to call an Uber and go to my parent’s house. Really. Go on to your _Transaction? Proposition?_ date.” 

She attempted to wave him goodbye, but he just stood their rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. 

“Raditz,” Bulma raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, “You can’t pass this up remember? 

“I know but I ju-” 

“Now hurry before she dries up on you,” she demanded, turning him around and pushing him in the direction of his car. 

“Wait, I’ve got it.” Raditz eyes lit up in an ‘ah ha’ moment as he pulled out his phone and began typing away. 

“So, I was actually going to Vegeta’s house after this but that was before things heated up with Ambrosia- she’s a law student you know, working her way through college- and I’m pretty sure he didn’t make any other plans. Not that we had plans, but I usually show up unannounced on weekends if he’s not taking a hiiiiiiiiiike..?” 

“Were you just going to say hit and you dragged it out into the word hike?” Bulma asked confused. 

_“Noooooo?”_

“Right. Look I don’t' care if you guys smoke weed or not, but please believe me, calling him is not a good idea. 

“Doesn’t matter, it’s already done.” 

“Raditz!” Bulma reprimanded through clenched teeth. 

“What? He said ‘fine’. And it’s not like you’re interrupting anything. He’s probably playing Fortnite or something. Now please get in the car so we can commence with the three-way.” 

To pass the time, Bulma struck up a conversation with Ambrosia who was really a professor’s assistant getting her master's in forensic science. It sounded very formal, so she now understood why Raditz had to sleaze it up; he did have an image to protect after all. She had been interning a bit at the police station the last few weeks and finally got the chance to talk to him once her date disappeared. 

“Yeah and the little guy tried to fight me in the parking lot. I told him to stay away from you.” Raditz embellished. 

“Oh yeah?” Ambrosia questioned, trying to follow along. 

“Yup. The guy was all like, ‘make me, pussy.’ And I was all like, ‘I don’t make pussy, I eat it.” 

Bulma grimaced at the little gesture exchanged between Raditz and Ambrosia before calling him out on it. 

“Well, that’s how it could’ve happened,” he whined, “Actually, I just made sure I wasn’t overstepping my bounds. Seemed like a nice enough guy, little on edge though. But His loss my gain.” 

Ambrosia beamed at his words and he grinned back at her. 

Bulma was feeling starting to feel like the third wheel again, but she internally cheered Raditz on. She thought maybe his ‘one and done’ ideology was façade and he was hungry for intimacy. 

A beam of headlights rolled up beside them, causing everyone to look out the passenger side. The window tint proved it impossible to see the occupant and Bulma got an uneasy feeling in her stomach. 

“Umm who’s that?” Even though she was with a police officer, in a cop car, they were still three lonesome people in an empty parking lot late at night. 

“That’s your ride, babe. And thank me later. I accept sandwiches and blowjobs.” 

“That’s not Vegeta’s car.” She looked to Raditz for confirmation, ignoring his prior statement. “He has like a Tesla or something.” 

“Yeah, I guess people can’t own more than one vehicle. My mistake.” 

She stared at him flatly before giving into his dopey grin and hugging him goodbye. She wished Ambrosia a good night and told her to keep in touch to be polite. 

Reality set in when her feet hit the pavement. She’d forgotten to mention the fact that she was sans home and sans money earlier, and if she was too spooked to even tell sweet, dopey Raditz about it... 

_FUUUUUUCK..._

Bulma took a deep breath and opened the door, prepared to hear a verbal barrage of all the things he had to forego that evening to to pick her up. 

“You know, I’m really going to have to start charging you a restocking fee.” 

0-0-0-0-0 

Vegeta tapped the steering wheel impatiently as the light cycled through a second time, waiting for Bulma to finish her panicked spiel. He wasn’t really following that closely to what she was saying but whatever it was, was coming out at break-neck speeds. 

“So, I didn’t have a ride and I lost two places to stay tonight. I mean... I didn’t _plan_ to stay at Yamcha’s house, so don’t get that idea, I assumed I’d be getting a hotel, but I left my wallet in Yamcha’s car and I can't get ahold of him or anyone for that matter. It’s like everyone’s avoiding me. He’s at a friend’s house, I think, and I have no idea where that is. I don’t even have any clothes, cards, or my ID in case I took an Uber and they murdered me. It’s all in my-” 

“Creepy overnight bag?” Vegeta interrupted, breaking free of his trance. 

“...Yeah, that. I’m pretty sure it’s floating around in his floorboard somewhere. I threw it in his backseat and I’m guessing he didn’t notice it. Though I don’t know how he didn’t notice or why he would think I left without saying goodb- What?” She ignored the amused look he wore through the brunt of her story, but she couldn’t stand it anymore. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“My assessment from yesterday still stands, you truly are deranged.” 

She patted herself down, hoping to find any loose item to hit him with, all the while him laughing at her misfortune. When she couldn’t find anything, she tucked her hands under her butt and stared out the window, defiantly in her mind. Maybe she had been a little testy the last few days but today should’ve marked the end of that. (Hmm..could that be foreshadowing?) 

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Bulma salivating slightly every time they passed a restaurant or drive thru. The thought crossed her mind, but without anyway to pay for anything, she decided she’d go to bed hungry tonight. He had already done more than enough by not revoking her offer after she attempted to assault him. Better to not press her luck. 

When they pulled into the driveway, Bulma took in her surroundings, admittedly, a little envious. The neighborhood was pristine. The lots were large, grasses were manicured perfectly, and each trashcan was lined up the same distance off the street. Even the Halloween decorations weren’t overly done or tacky. It was certainly a far cry away from the hidden compound adorned with an alligator infested moat she imagined. 

There was something different about his house though. He had the typical one and a half story house with an attached garage, but he also had a detached garage. Her mind wandered, guessing what the contents were, until the attached garage door opened, and they pulled in. 

She yawned as Vegeta entered a number into the keypad and opened a door that lead into the kitchen. 

_Hawaiian Breeze? Nice choice._ She took in the tropical scent of his air freshener, but she imagined his house probably smelled crisp anyway. Lord knows he always did. 

An overhead light was flipped on but was quickly dimmed to a more suitable wattage for the time of night it was. Bulma thought Vegeta said something, but she was too busy admiring the nice size kitchen, trying to imagine him actually using it. 

“Or not” 

“I’m sorry. What?” 

“I asked if you wanted something to drink,” he repeated. 

“Oh! Sorry, I was just admiring your house. This is extraordinarily beautiful, Vegeta. Maybe I should’ve been a teacher instead,” she mused before addressing his impatient expression with an answer. “And yes, that would be great, thanks.” 

He stood in front of the fridge and cracked his neck side to side, deciding on a bottle of water. “I don’t really know what you want, help yourself to whatever’s in there. I’ll be right back. 

He walked towards the back of the kitchen and disappeared into the garage once more. Bulma kicked her shoes off and looked for a place to put them before settling on the “go away” mat closest to the backdoor. She gripped her arms, the cool air from the refrigerator dropping her core temperature. 

Was it possible for fridges to be this clean? She almost started to feel like she was in a museum with how neat and tidy everything was. She retracted her hand back from the decanter of juice she grabbed, scared she was leaving fingerprints on the glass, and picked a water instead. It opened with a refreshing crack and she downed half of it before taking a breath of air. She shut the fridge upon hearing him re-enter and leaned her arms on the island. 

“You must be the only guy I’ve ever met that actually uses the crisper and fruit drawers for their intended purposes. I’m impressed.” 

“That’s a dumb thing to say. And don’t be, my girlfriend did it,” he said nonchalantly. 

“What?” she squeaked.” I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend?” He laughed smugly at her expression. 

“I don’t. I was just fucking with you. Your memory is terrible.” 

“Whatever.” She picked up the bottle and finished it off. The cool contents felt good on her parched throat, but it teased her stomach enough to make it rumble vocally in the hushed kitchen. 

“Really?” Vegeta said in irritated rhetoric. 

Bulma mustered the hugest grin she could while Vegeta grabbed his phone. 

“God, Vegeta!” Bulma exclaimed through a mouthful of food. “These fish tacos are ridiculous. What’s that App called?” 

“Grub hub,” he managed after swallowing. “And why didn’t you say something earlier? We passed like ten places on the way here. You would’ve had more options.” 

She wiped her mouth and sighed in sated comfort. “Beggars can’t be choosers. I didn’t want to impose.” 

“Because being hungry is an imposition?” he retorted immediately. Did he come across as that much of an asshole that he would let her starve? 

“I guess not.” She picked up both their empty plates and headed for the kitchen. 

Bulma returned to an empty living room, desperately trying to stave off the urge to nose around. She plopped down at the end of the couch, grabbed a throw and sank into the cushion. She wanted to scan the room in hopes of finding any incriminating evidence that Vegeta was a normal guy. Maybe find pictures, collectibles, books...anything really. But the couch was just _so_ soft, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. 

“Oh no! There are two empty bedrooms to sleep in, you are _not_ snoring out here.” 

Bulma’s eyes flew open, her head springing up. “I wasn’t snoring you jerk! I was just resting my eyes.” 

“Well whatever you call it, do it somewhere else. Or don’t. I’m a light sleeper. And wipe that drool off too.” He plopped down on the other end of the couch, pressing buttons on the remote. 

“What?! Take that back!” Bulma grabbed a pillow and managed to get in at least 4 seconds of smother before he snatched it and pushed her backwards onto the cushion. 

“Wow,” he tittered. “Your choice in panties was a large oversight on your part. Or maybe you really are just a strumpet.” 

Before she could initiate round two, he held his hands up in surrender, not trying to conceal his amusement in any way. She stood up and tapped her foot, waiting for his laughing fit to cease. “It wasn’t like I was planning on wearing this all night you know. I _had_ other clothes in my bag.” 

He wiped a tear from his eye. “I really couldn’t care less. But thanks for the free entertainment.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure Pornhub will miss your patronage tonight,” she snorted. “Next time it won’t be free.” 

Vegeta stood up, ignoring her comment and walked towards his bedroom. He stopped in the hallway, turned around and wiggled his index finger, beckoning her over. 

She was a little hesitant to trust him at this point, but she stood up and walked over to him. “What?” 

“I just wanted to make you come with one finger,” he whispered darkly in her ear. Bulma’s eyes followed his as he pulled away from her, never breaking her glare. Seconds passed before her lips betrayed her and curled up into a smile. “Damn, guess I walked right into that one. Who knew you had a sense of humor?” 

“Don’t pass it around. Come on.” 

His bedroom walls were sparsely but tastefully decorated. A nice built in on the opposite side of the room had a decent number of books on it, a few model cars and other various accoutrements. What she identified as a photo album sat atop the highest shelf, teasing her disobedient fingers. 

Her instructions were easy enough, pick out a night shirt and some shorts, don’t touch anything, and close the door when she was done. But where was the fun in that? 

The edges didn’t look well-worn but the weight of it said there were probably a lot of memories that were begging to be revisited. She traced a finger around the red symbol on the front before huffing and putting it back. _Another time._

She didn’t, however, pass up the chance to try out what she was sure was a down comforter. She fell backwards onto a soft, fluffy blanket and took in a deep breath. It was nothing like the bed of nails she pictured him slumbering on, and his room smelled much like the rest of the house, clean and fruity. Vegeta sure knew how to live. Deciding she needed to invest in a king-sized bed, she hopped to her feet and headed for the bathroom. 

Before she stripped down, she studied herself in the mirror, worried about how well her makeup was going to hold up overnight. Despite feeling run down, she still looked presentable at the moment. Her petticoat was still fluffy, and her curls maintained a nice bounce. 

“He never did say anything about my dress.” She shrugged and started tugging it off. 

The sound of something on the TV started playing in the background and she yelled out to pause it until she got back. Not like she knew what they were watching, but she didn’t want to get caught in the middle and be forced ask him to catch her up. Not that he would deign to do so. 

Vegeta was playing on his phone in the dark when she resumed her spot on the couch. “Thanks. This shirt is really soft.”

“Hn. Ready now?” 

Bulma nodded and pulled the throw over her again, the beginning credits starting up. “Oh my gosh, Vegeta! I love The Grand Tour. I never have anybody to watch it with!” 

“Sucks for you.” 

She picked up the pillow and acted like she was going to throw it again before tucking it behind her. 

“Well now that I know you watch it, you’re stuck with me the next...how many ever Fridays.” 

“You’ll have to fight Raditz for that spot.” 

“Psshh...I can take him.” 

“You’re right! And I have just the way.” His eyes lit up unusually bright and he turned to look at her. “First you can render him unconscious by telling him about the time you felt like wasted potential because you didn’t follow in your father’s footsteps, and _then_ , you can bore him to death by rambling on about how irresponsible you were tonight and- 

“Just watch the damn show!” Pockets of steam started to vent from Bulma’s head, though it was hard for her to stay mad when he pretended to show empathy through a cute pout. “Whatever,” she smiled, “now hush and watch.” 

Watching Vegeta laugh to the point of tears, and not just at her expense, had to be one of the most gratifying sights. It was almost altruistic. The pure satisfaction in his eyes as he fell over, holding his side was like watching a child’s eyes light up at their first puppy, or when you get to feel tits for the first time. Not those insignificant chicken cutlets that you let your 12-year-old boyfriend squeeze in the bathroom so you can say you went all the way (because who would do that, right? Right guys?!)... But real tits. It was just so out of character it almost felt like finding a unicorn. She wasn’t really sure how that made her feel. 

The longer it went on, the harder it was to say if he was funnier or the show, but she was enjoying both to the point of almost tears herself. At one point it was so intense, he fell into her shoulder and drug her down with him (this is how it goes at my house guys, my poor hubby.) They sat up in unison and stayed leaned into each other, fully engrossed in the entertainment. Every other scene, she would grip his shoulder harder or he would fall a little deeper into her. By the third commercial break, he was essentially sitting in her lap. His back was pressed fully into her chest, her legs on both sides of his body. 

She ignored the Toyota commercial that was playing, instead trying to decipher the little bit of guilt that was nagging at her. She’d openly accepted, and somewhat fulfilled, a date with a different guy earlier that night, one she was sure she had some feelings for, even if he ghosted her, and yet now all she had interest in was running her fingers through Vegeta’s hair. It was too late at night to try to make since of it, so she shook the thought from her head. It was better to not put too much stock into either at this point she reasoned, she wasn’t committed to anyone. _Just do what you want tonight and quit worrying about it._

“Am I crushing you?” 

She could feel the vibration of his speech emanating from the depths of his chest. 

“Not at all.” She gently placed all her fingers on his neck and combed them upward, doing what _she_ wanted to do. 

He let his head sink a little deeper into her chest and closed his eyes. He barely cracked them once the show resumed, but she couldn’t see that. They sat in silence after it had ended, Bulma continuing her ministrations. A flash of light, from the other end of the couch, followed by a chime, lit up the room. 

“Do you need to get that?” Bulma asked, eyeing his phone. 

“Nah. It’s just the doorbell. I _need_ to calibrate the sensitivity of it. Even the breeze will set it off.” 

“k. Can you let me up? I’ve had to pee since May’s bar got destroyed.” 

“Nah, I don’t think I will.” Vegeta pushed himself harder into her, making sure to bury himself into where he thought her bladder was located.

“Stop or I’m going to pee myself,” she laughed and cried at the same time. 

“Do it and I will murder you in your sleep,” he threatened before leaning forward and forcing her to climb around him. She got one leg up and stepped off the couch, only to welcome his palm swiftly against her ass. 

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“My house, I can do what I wa-”  
Both their attention turned to the front entrance, the strangled sound of his doorbell cutting off his explanation. 

“Expecting someone?” Bulma’s bladder suddenly tightened up a bit. 

Vegeta didn’t answer. She looked at him for a suspended moment before it chimed again. 

“Just go pee.” He raised himself off the couch and made sure she was headed to the bathroom before going to the door. Against better judgement, when he didn't see anyone through the peephole, he opened it slowly. 

He looked left, then right, the left again but didn’t see anyone. 

“Delivery.” A midget carrying a box about the same size as he was tilted his head up and repeated himself. “Delivery.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried reeeeeeaaaaaallllly hard to get this out Friday night to line up with the latest Grand Tour (Idky, I just thought it would be funny), but time just wasn’t on my side. Did anyone else see it? Holy shit, it was great! SPOILER ALERT****I’m pretty sure that ‘mystery mirage’ guy Clarkson kept seeing was the racer from season one that they did away with XD. But anyways, that’s part of the reason I’m trying to not be too hard on myself. Had I not gone back and changed/added so much, it probably would have been done yesterday. I think if I can just move forward with my work and not worry so much, I can get chapters out to you guys sooner. Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I’m super pumped for the next one though tbh ^^
> 
> And I will go back tomorrow and try to correct errors! It's after midnight here and I'm just ready to get this thing out.


End file.
